Dead & Breakfast
This description of this was, "The American Shaun of the Dead." The cast includes David Carradine, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Oz Perkins, Diedrich Bader, Portia de Rossi, and other faces that you would recognize. Knowing those things, I assumed I would like this movie.
I was wrong.
The basic story revolves around a demon that was trapped in a box. It was accidentally released, turning Oz Perkins into Lord of the Zombies. Before long, he had turned the majority of the town into zombies, trapping the majority of the survivors in the bed & breakfast.
It doesn't sound bad...but it is. For some reason, they felt the need to include a country singer to narrate random parts of the story. It was supposed to be funny. It was not.
I enjoyed parts of this movie, but most of it just came off as extremely cheesy and forced.
Rating: 1.5/5
Insidious
I heard this was scary. And, for about 40 minutes, it was. There were creepy scenes, and parts that made me jump. It freaked me out a little.
Then the story took a turn towards the ridiculous, and I couldn't take it seriously after that. Also, this falls into the category of, "Once you see the monsters, it's much less scary." There is actually a scene where the main demon (which looks ridiculous to begin with) is sharpening his claws on a wheel. It's laugh-out-loud funny (it reminded me of the scene in Jeepers Creepers when the demon is sitting at a sewing machine).
This is a movie that starts out with great promise, but it falls apart in a hurry. There are still a handful of creepy moments in the last half of the movie, but they're few and far between.
Rating: 2/5
Monsters
This is really less of a horror movie, and more of a strange love story that takes place in a world with aliens.
The set-up: six years prior to the events of the movie, aliens crash landed in Central America. They are big, tentacled monsters (they basically look like glowing land-octopuses). During the six years, the government was able to quarantine them into an area just south of Texas (called the infected zone).
The story revolves around two people: Andrew (who goes by his last name, Kaulder) and Samantha (who goes by Sam). Kaulder is a photographer who works for Sam's father. Sam was injured south of the infected zone, and Kaulder is tasked with going down and bringing her back to America.
You can probably guess where the story goes.
I loved their characters. It's a sweet, well-written story that takes place in a world that doesn't look altogether different from this one. The cast was perfect, too. There were times when it moved a little slow, but I didn't really mind too much.
Like I said, this wasn't a horror movie, but I watched it because I thought it was one, so I thought I'd review it here.
Rating: 4.5/5
Quarantine 2: Terminal
I loved Quarantine. It is one of my favorite horror movies in recent memory.
So, when I saw that this movie was being released direct to DVD, I tried to temper my expectations. I wanted it to be good, but I wasn't expecting it to be good.
As it turns out, it was decent. This movie takes place on a plane (and then in a terminal), and it runs parallel to the events in the first movie.
There's really not a whole lot to say about it. It's a not-nearly-as-good version of the first movie, but I still found it enjoyable.
Rating: 3/5
Pelt
I watched this because it was set in Kentucky. It follows 7 college-aged students who go hiking somewhere in Kentucky (I don't think they ever said where), and run into murderous inbreds. It's a tale as old as time. This is basically the same movie as Wrong Turn (and countless others), but with less likable characters (seriously...I don't I liked a single person in this movie). And the acting was terrible.
Still, I kind of enjoyed it. I mean, I wasn't expecting anything from this movie other than lots of murder and some gore, and I got that.
If you lower your expectations, you may like it. But you won't love it...that's impossible.
Rating: 2.5/5
I have quite a few more to catch up with, so hopefully I'll get around to doing that soon.
