tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79131427670550349412024-02-07T19:31:22.437-05:00Zombie ClubA place to talk about horror movies.Zombie Clubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01860058420618735135noreply@blogger.comBlogger178125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-1624883528524127382016-05-24T22:57:00.000-04:002016-05-24T22:57:27.466-04:00The Poughkeepsie Tapes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Synopsis:
<br />
Authorities find over 800 VHS tapes made by an elusive killer in and around
Poughkeepsie, New York. We the viewer –
most of whom are absolutely not police or FBI agents – get to watch some of
these and see what terrible things this killer did. Awful things.
Twisted things. Why did they let
us watch these? <br />
<br />
My thoughts:<br />
This wasn’t as much out-and-out scary as it was supremely unnerving. I had to keep telling myself, “This isn’t
real, this isn’t real.” I believed
myself for the most part, but a little part of me knew that I’m not a smart
person and was probably lying.</span></div>
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This movie is 86 minutes long. There is
a whole lot of life-scarring material in this movie for it being so short. There are things in this movie I will carry
with me for years. Maybe the rest of my
life. I may pass those things down to my
children. They don’t deserve this, man.<br />
<br />
There is a lot of stuff going on here, but a decent portion of the movie deals
with the kidnapping/torture of Cheryl Dempsey.
She was a teenager when she was abducted. She was abused physically and mentally to a
terrible extent. We see the
torture. We see her mind cracking under
the strain of it all. It’s
heartbreaking.<br />
In a particularly chilling scene, the killer videotapes himself as he
approaches Cheryl’s mom, offering to help find her child. Eventually it dawns on her mother that she is
talking to the man who took her daughter.
As she is paralyzed with fear, the killer laughs and walks off. That scene broke me down. Of all the things I saw him do over the
course of this movie, that felt like one of the worst. It felt like someone punching me in the gut. The torture I can take. But that?
That’s a bridge too far, fella.<br />
<br />
But that wasn’t the worst. Not
really. He did some, let’s call it
“creative surgery,” that was horrifying.
Just horrifying.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />Both his psychological and physical torture are next level sadistic. If this man existed in real life and was
anywhere close to my town, I would have picked up and moved a long time
ago. Maybe burned my house on my way out
of town for good measure.<br />
<br />
I feel like I’m really talking this movie up.
I liked it, but it wasn’t perfect.
There are some slow moments.
There are some scares that don’t really land. But those are small moments and relatively
easy to overlook. Again, it’s a short
movie, and those moments are in the minority.
For the most part, this is an extremely well-done movie. It used the found footage genre to
perfection.</span></div>
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If you’re looking for an unsettling serial killer movie, this is it. It has had a troubled release history, so
it’s not the easiest movie to track down, but you can find it if you search
hard enough. That aspect makes this a
little creepier: it’s a movie about hours and hours of torture and murder, and
it’s not easy to track down. That aspect
makes it feel a little more real.<br />
<br />
Turn off the lights, check to make sure all your doors and windows are locked
and throw this on. You may find yourself
staring at the screen as the credits roll, wondering what you have gotten yourself
into. Then checking all the closets in
your house. Just in cases, you know?<br />
<br />
Rating: 5/5<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a><br />
<br />
Notable actors: Bobbi Sue Luther, a real serial killer (probably)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-85007232090193246622016-05-11T01:01:00.006-04:002016-05-11T01:01:56.617-04:00Hush<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha5ogoG6dLSmA3DryPu0w-zB59bK7OhC5iLQs9oL1tQuopWvQQTdtWWUuukxkzXPGlbJwtqoSv8T5TGOgOJyLhmU2JULwydkVRcQTCABgs5pnG5_xoNPFkkFYKUj-LHUEa-apDsUM8FHQ/s1600/hush+-+poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha5ogoG6dLSmA3DryPu0w-zB59bK7OhC5iLQs9oL1tQuopWvQQTdtWWUuukxkzXPGlbJwtqoSv8T5TGOgOJyLhmU2JULwydkVRcQTCABgs5pnG5_xoNPFkkFYKUj-LHUEa-apDsUM8FHQ/s400/hush+-+poster.jpg" width="268" /></a></div>
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A deaf, mute female author lives alone in a fairly secluded house in the woods. A man in a creepy mask shows up, kills her
neighbor and terrorizes her.<br />
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My thoughts:<br />
This seems like a pretty standard home invasion movie, but I gave it a shot
because it was directed by Mike Flanagan.
I wasn’t overly fond of <i>Absentia</i>,
but I loved <i>Oculus</i> so I was looking
forward to what Flangan would bring to the table within the home invasion
subgenre. He did not disappoint.</span></div>
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Having a deaf, mute protagonist certainly allowed for a fresh take. Some of the standard slasher moves went out
the window here. There is a scene where
the killer takes his knife and scrapes it against the window. That nails-on-chalkboard effect didn’t faze
Maggie. I like to think that the killer
had a lot of other tricks up his sleeve that he wasn’t able to use here. “I’ll start clanging some cans together
outside…okay, okay. Can’t use that. What about knocking really loudly on the
door…nope. Nope nope nope.”</span></div>
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Maggie’s lack of hearing did put the killer at a bit of a disadvantage,
although it’s really his own fault. He
saw a deaf woman living alone and assumed she would be an easy kill. He toyed with her a little more than he
should have. In fact, at one point the
killer is in the house with Maggie before she even knows he’s out there, and he
doesn’t kill her. He takes his
opportunity to get into her head. When he
could have been using that opportunity to get into her head…WITH A KNIFE. (I’m so sorry.)</span></div>
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Granted, we don’t really see his method outside of his approach with Maggie, so
maybe this is just how he operates with people trapped in their houses, but I
got the impression that he was so confident of being able to kill her easily
that he wasn’t as careful as he usually would be. “I can come in at any time,” he tells her
early on. But he doesn’t. He taunts her. He walks around the house, stalking her in
plain sight. He gives Maggie enough time
to get over her initial shock and devise a plan. Initially to stay secure and survive, then to
escape, and ultimately to fight back.</span></div>
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This is a small movie. If you count the
brief FaceTime call with Maggie’s sister, there are only 5 people in the movie,
but the majority of the movie involves Maggie and the killer. At 81 minutes, it’s a short movie, but it’s
such a small movie that it could easily have become boring in lesser
hands. On its face, this movie is
simply, “Man walks around house while woman hides inside,” for roughly an
hour. But it never really dragged. There were a number of tense moments, but it
wasn’t always tense. Even in those down
moments, it was never boring.</span></div>
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By the way, the character of the killer is simply “Man” in the credits. I love this.
It’s impossible to see things like that and not think of “?” (<i>Frankenstein</i>) or “The Shape” (<i>Halloween</i>). There’s something about an unnamed character
in a horror movie that makes me happy.<br />
We also have no idea where the killer came from. We don’t know how long he has been
killing. We don’t know why he chose to
use a crossbow. We don’t know anything
about him, and I really don’t care. I
don’t need to know what led him to this point: all I need to know is that he
wants to kill.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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I had a few issues, but they’re nit-picky ones.
The killer wears a creepy mask in the beginning, but he gets rid of it
15 minutes in. There’s a good reason for
this, and the actor did a good job, but I wish we would have seen that mask for
a little while longer.<br />
During a call with her sister, Maggie says (well, signs) that she has “writer’s
brain.” Basically, when she writes, she
looks at every situation and sees how it could possibly end. Kind of like Choose Your Own Adventure. Because of this, she has a hard time finishing
her books, because she can’t stop writing alternate endings. They play with this a bit towards the end of
the movie, and it’s one of my favorite scenes.
I wish they would have done this a little more throughout the movie. Perhaps more liberal use would lead to it not
being as effective, but I would have liked to have seen this used a little more
than it was.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />In the end, those were minor issues that didn’t detract from the rest of the
movie. I really enjoyed it and I
definitely see myself revisiting this one quite often. <br />
<br />
Rating: 4.5/5<br />
<br />
Notable actors: Michael Trucco<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-86753095611183903902016-05-03T23:15:00.002-04:002016-05-03T23:15:20.689-04:00Stung<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXCwiE0tiR-dybIJsANIjNjU9y0YP7CQkY3tykhkRumHT58TBwqgqGEfuSH9iGVD3s5sYxo8zWiCQD6AFFKPHJAMdNiB06ukk_kpyZToNZsmF6MYRPuIj1J8REnUctxdc2knNCzG6DAU0/s1600/stung+-+poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXCwiE0tiR-dybIJsANIjNjU9y0YP7CQkY3tykhkRumHT58TBwqgqGEfuSH9iGVD3s5sYxo8zWiCQD6AFFKPHJAMdNiB06ukk_kpyZToNZsmF6MYRPuIj1J8REnUctxdc2knNCzG6DAU0/s400/stung+-+poster.jpg" width="210" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />Synopsis: </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Genetically modified super-wasps descend on a gathering of rich people.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">If you get stung (STUNG, you guys.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I just got it) by one of these wasps, you
will become a person-sized wasp.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">So kind
of like zombies, except with wings and a stinger.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">But hey!</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Maybe you can produce some delicious honey.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">(Wasps cannot produce honey.)</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHtgn6O3rbzYr7NaHdOvfbEn7J18RCarX33KPOzDAv2vRTa7qpFQD1LLdnAzvBLCO4mgRKzfbpHo3OSIwsgwwS7ks5njFm5_cYD282OFZlEf_84CRZMmdNZQkdfaMuzo4vh8lFu1BR9W4/s1600/stung+-+gweneth.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHtgn6O3rbzYr7NaHdOvfbEn7J18RCarX33KPOzDAv2vRTa7qpFQD1LLdnAzvBLCO4mgRKzfbpHo3OSIwsgwwS7ks5njFm5_cYD282OFZlEf_84CRZMmdNZQkdfaMuzo4vh8lFu1BR9W4/s400/stung+-+gweneth.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />Thoughts: </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I don't have a whole lot to say about this one.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">It was a b-movie creature feature.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">It was a decent amount of fun.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">There were a couple twists and turns that were pretty easy to spot, but
this movie wasn't about that.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">This was a
fun, dumb movie about wasp people attacking rich people and growing their wasp
army.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz9nL1iQDYh7U42EDozTUs6sYTsnxaPeO4VWWfEpqdu4gdfzrwD71RAygv241o-_4JwuOFifPBzAWU-LZif3pEaIsrJ4VyV209EWalvpJnRWVy43WLsuhzzEdhCPHrHEBpresjwjMDyJ8/s1600/stung+-+paul.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz9nL1iQDYh7U42EDozTUs6sYTsnxaPeO4VWWfEpqdu4gdfzrwD71RAygv241o-_4JwuOFifPBzAWU-LZif3pEaIsrJ4VyV209EWalvpJnRWVy43WLsuhzzEdhCPHrHEBpresjwjMDyJ8/s400/stung+-+paul.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />I didn't buy the
relationship between the two leads, but that's easy enough to overlook.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I'm not watching a movie about genetically
modified wasps to see a realistic portrayal of relationship dynamics in the
workplace or in times of extreme duress.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPfPKGpQEDTvWNx2IDlYAUpmuI4cRsUP93zAl8swOcset6iHQrdhw3n8WrKznmqghizdMxEfCYIyR01vdxk8gbtX9wvo0eDfJblHgZCE3VnqQHlMgsc3wrlSL5cmx4XXSv8cBxjM5_4AM/s1600/stung+-+julia+and+paul.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPfPKGpQEDTvWNx2IDlYAUpmuI4cRsUP93zAl8swOcset6iHQrdhw3n8WrKznmqghizdMxEfCYIyR01vdxk8gbtX9wvo0eDfJblHgZCE3VnqQHlMgsc3wrlSL5cmx4XXSv8cBxjM5_4AM/s400/stung+-+julia+and+paul.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />I do have to
bring up an issue with it, though.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The
relationship in question occurs between the two leads: Paul and Julia.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">They are catering the fancy event and are
caught up in the mayhem.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Paul is an
irresponsible pot head who hits on the female guests.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Julia is a professional who is responsible
and takes her job seriously.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">She is
essentially running the catering company by herself.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">So why, when the party starts going south, does Paul become the hero and Julia
the damsel who desperately needs saving?</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Why wouldn't that be the other way around?</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I'll tell you this: if I were in this
situation, I'd throw Paul to the wasps and count on Julia to be the
level-headed thinker.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I would apologize
to Paul, but he's already a wasp person out for revenge.</span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPnGMafap33TEllBPsvg4y3idA6wgtBrVu9eQIBHh7yrNISCresBfcTaYbMqkgmGkPuDUHwIb_4ATKqfKCThH28GMldSWFhssglo33hKTdK_TdQAoNJdA08nsTbEw4Rha-OIA6ui6lJD4/s1600/stung+-+julia+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPnGMafap33TEllBPsvg4y3idA6wgtBrVu9eQIBHh7yrNISCresBfcTaYbMqkgmGkPuDUHwIb_4ATKqfKCThH28GMldSWFhssglo33hKTdK_TdQAoNJdA08nsTbEw4Rha-OIA6ui6lJD4/s400/stung+-+julia+3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"Oh no. However will I defend myself without a pot head man-child?"</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">If you're looking for a dumb creature-feature movie with decent effects, you
could do a lot worse than this one.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">There are some legitimately fun moments.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">This seems like a great movie to throw on with a group of friends and
alcohol.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">However, if you're looking for anything more than that, just cross to the other
side of the street and keep on walking.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_pQRoiGWHNG0gINrpcJA1TbPzP7nyiCPPwsZOagkN0CFrE3LWycCG4ZW4pjnrKc9YZLOg2dDOIiBmLCXBnkSUdzgr2LrPS-fX8S5022M3otI3gV665AM4GqMVgQ0vvG_nc_sfCQgLCVE/s1600/stung+-+group.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_pQRoiGWHNG0gINrpcJA1TbPzP7nyiCPPwsZOagkN0CFrE3LWycCG4ZW4pjnrKc9YZLOg2dDOIiBmLCXBnkSUdzgr2LrPS-fX8S5022M3otI3gV665AM4GqMVgQ0vvG_nc_sfCQgLCVE/s400/stung+-+group.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />Rating: 3/5</span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Notable actors:
Lance Henricksen, Clifton Collins Jr.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-85111784331910274602016-04-27T00:28:00.002-04:002016-04-27T08:46:39.885-04:00Kristy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW9O4aDpZpatxZNeQyR8QalxYV6XRnyjuKhUYNcUwILUf8-4-CZw2tGO5U6GJqarg7oLlZypfhKs-wx08g8Go8BHUolpMrmx6FuAi2ojQjI79wenGz9YngK81WwPSdfgl4kjZ2KIoG7Ow/s1600/kristy+-+poster2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW9O4aDpZpatxZNeQyR8QalxYV6XRnyjuKhUYNcUwILUf8-4-CZw2tGO5U6GJqarg7oLlZypfhKs-wx08g8Go8BHUolpMrmx6FuAi2ojQjI79wenGz9YngK81WwPSdfgl4kjZ2KIoG7Ow/s400/kristy+-+poster2.png" width="272" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">At
its core, this is a slasher movie about a girl who stays on campus over
Thanksgiving break and finds herself stalked by 4 murdering psychopaths. The psychopaths kill a couple security
guards, and the only thing standing between our heroine and certain death are
her own wits.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOJoy1yumGr-HS-SK_QBONhhVAvjSUCs5HP64jeLNK3cOY6IabTuZkEC3XASuq5OcF9iYpkOqpSzHMZNXWf43lCQqjL2jPJQoro7V95CRhhuXnDHv1t3kI32-OokDyLZX5PsjrhLZGc2U/s1600/kristy+-+justine+02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="152" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOJoy1yumGr-HS-SK_QBONhhVAvjSUCs5HP64jeLNK3cOY6IabTuZkEC3XASuq5OcF9iYpkOqpSzHMZNXWf43lCQqjL2jPJQoro7V95CRhhuXnDHv1t3kI32-OokDyLZX5PsjrhLZGc2U/s400/kristy+-+justine+02.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
It's pretty standard slasher fare. As
far as standard slashers go, this was a pretty good one. Yes, there were some pretty huge leaps in
logic, but that's to be expected. (People
jump off tall buildings and are able to get up and run away all the time,
right?) There's also a fair about of
slasher logic on display here, but it's a slasher. I'm fine with it.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY_kYYDxL7_v7eq94ItTXwxlCjtlgpLF6M-ra2ER92W08QkLJZfMOVShIIOUDLeOVvUtdifCfgxriHgeGJnhKlENBD8JTxfbLxPv3voPWXNAJNqNxop568T2prYMKY3Vq1jPsQh3c1uiI/s1600/kristy+-+justine+04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY_kYYDxL7_v7eq94ItTXwxlCjtlgpLF6M-ra2ER92W08QkLJZfMOVShIIOUDLeOVvUtdifCfgxriHgeGJnhKlENBD8JTxfbLxPv3voPWXNAJNqNxop568T2prYMKY3Vq1jPsQh3c1uiI/s400/kristy+-+justine+04.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />I believe that a slasher movie can really only be as good as its final girl,
and we got a good one here. Although the
movie is called <i>Kristy</i>, our final girl
is Justine (I'll get to that in a bit), and she's terrific, provided you don't
really ask any questions about how she got the skills she shows off. She's a likable character, but that kind of
information takes a backseat to the real question: is she a fighter? The answer is a resounding
"yes." She uses her knowledge
of the campus to her advantage. She
turns the tables on her attackers. When
she's cornered, she doesn't panic.
Okay...she panics, but then she looks for a way out.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW8cIxqta9Lc-ORskHWJ8hENpi6TyvbuVyNELKCNiDW2Gb9yYT9ms89PF2dZPLSoYPKPgPiReTYoo9mM9vHfbE5O6JRjox0AIs50BXPoqG5ky0lFjm1DGy6De700do-xcP_AejPd4WZ9w/s1600/kristy+-+justine+03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW8cIxqta9Lc-ORskHWJ8hENpi6TyvbuVyNELKCNiDW2Gb9yYT9ms89PF2dZPLSoYPKPgPiReTYoo9mM9vHfbE5O6JRjox0AIs50BXPoqG5ky0lFjm1DGy6De700do-xcP_AejPd4WZ9w/s400/kristy+-+justine+03.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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I liked all of that. But there's another
storyline running throughout the movie.
This group of murderers are part of a larger group. This group has cells all over the country,
and they all have one goal: "Kill Kristy." They use Kristy as a code. It basically stands for any rich white girl
who appears to have a good life. These
groups stalk these "Kristys", kill them and carve a "K"
into their faces. They videotape the
entire process and upload it to a central server. All the videos of dead Kristys, all in one
place. They watch these videos on
multiple TVs at the same time, like a moving murder quilt.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWA2d-4LWkwQl6335PvLqKgCyuSuyJaafoidkKzt3PcMEVFyo4yf38fHzMVPROmc5C0wHlczDCcRYq-J-j7HhnmFZRvocPREE3J4iJqcUpkhQO7oSh04idHt1d3auapoWrTk0SATNdLug/s1600/kristy+-+violet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWA2d-4LWkwQl6335PvLqKgCyuSuyJaafoidkKzt3PcMEVFyo4yf38fHzMVPROmc5C0wHlczDCcRYq-J-j7HhnmFZRvocPREE3J4iJqcUpkhQO7oSh04idHt1d3auapoWrTk0SATNdLug/s400/kristy+-+violet.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />We see a lot of this before we even meet Justine. The movie opens with the murder of a pretty
girl in a field, then a whole lot of distorted dialogue across the network. "Kill Kristy." "Kristy is God. Kill God." Things like that. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8YK11FlrGj_IBUrn3dRJjupAbANBHl0jmHfpbythInv8aJ_vj2quhkpIedZAOfhHHl0xoY0lkM7P3ALfiAV53KWqz8hKHWXEUdNwmBtViCMmuR7WBxiYDbp4s0EzO9VcXWkFXbJr8XN0/s1600/kristy+-+justine+and+violet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8YK11FlrGj_IBUrn3dRJjupAbANBHl0jmHfpbythInv8aJ_vj2quhkpIedZAOfhHHl0xoY0lkM7P3ALfiAV53KWqz8hKHWXEUdNwmBtViCMmuR7WBxiYDbp4s0EzO9VcXWkFXbJr8XN0/s400/kristy+-+justine+and+violet.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
I didn't like any of that. The idea that
there was a larger group than these 4 killers wasn't bad, but the execution was
terrible. It was supposed to feel like
this menacing presence, but it just annoyed me.
If they would have cut that stuff out of the beginning and had it as a
big reveal at the end, I probably would have liked it better. As it was, it was handled poorly in the
beginning and I had a bad taste in my mouth for the first 20 minutes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
Also, all the killers wear masks made out of foil and do the whole, "tilt
my head," move. You know the one.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilC0CBqomvgCPQF9mc6LbaWagAFXvYHc7OVc_W1Fn0lPSUjCm8tkk6LkAxz3nrym0A5RF4bsmkKUfOoAXDJDC98A7wPJVlmpBq32n_iaZ-u0ztGn7F4f3_vBrjKmnBBWocjCHMNjqMsaE/s1600/kristy-myers_head_tilt.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilC0CBqomvgCPQF9mc6LbaWagAFXvYHc7OVc_W1Fn0lPSUjCm8tkk6LkAxz3nrym0A5RF4bsmkKUfOoAXDJDC98A7wPJVlmpBq32n_iaZ-u0ztGn7F4f3_vBrjKmnBBWocjCHMNjqMsaE/s400/kristy-myers_head_tilt.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There it is</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">That's fine when it's Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees; after all, they're
unstoppable killers who aren't even really human. They tilt their heads because they truly
don't understand what is going on, like a confused dog. A regular person doing it doesn't really
strike me as menacing, even with a mask.
It just comes off as forced.<br />
Unless they're trying to emulate Myers and Voorhees. In which case, you just look like you're
trying too hard. Get a new intimidation
tactic, because this one isn't working.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDJO1MGd5n9R7ynIqeVdJk-RS27U-Sn7k3bCfDUeaJLdo1Jy9Wpivh5tre9-8oxHuo2qfrICQ_iKZ9IGy2HmAdT9o-5eM9HX2p7uoXUo4nzxq2jETE9acIATgB66aImQ5_f-l0QWDUooA/s1600/kristy+-+killer+02.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="202" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDJO1MGd5n9R7ynIqeVdJk-RS27U-Sn7k3bCfDUeaJLdo1Jy9Wpivh5tre9-8oxHuo2qfrICQ_iKZ9IGy2HmAdT9o-5eM9HX2p7uoXUo4nzxq2jETE9acIATgB66aImQ5_f-l0QWDUooA/s400/kristy+-+killer+02.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />As it stands, this is a perfectly decent slasher movie that reaches for heights
it can't quite achieve.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Rating:
3/5<br />
<br />
Notable actors: Haley Bennett (<i>Hardcore
Henry</i>), Ashley Green (<i>Twilight</i>, <i>The Apparition</i>), Chris Coy (<i>Banshee</i>)</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-53680712156458698842016-04-20T07:58:00.000-04:002016-04-20T23:35:36.983-04:00Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRmRJnqn9TXitsYoUdC3RDMdJzNJYswh9Rfj-8MwH_YPPRqh-7sRURXRSUzOhPJ4iDQYY1mIzyCM2U21Tz01OGUZ1CjxpBztUCOFz7kQll9QEqZm6FdJx-DjU1oJeKEJtaMr0zmzYk67w/s1600/scouts+-+poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRmRJnqn9TXitsYoUdC3RDMdJzNJYswh9Rfj-8MwH_YPPRqh-7sRURXRSUzOhPJ4iDQYY1mIzyCM2U21Tz01OGUZ1CjxpBztUCOFz7kQll9QEqZm6FdJx-DjU1oJeKEJtaMr0zmzYk67w/s400/scouts+-+poster.jpg" width="257" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Have
you ever found yourself watching <i>Superbad</i>
and thinking, "I wish there was a less well-written version of this with zombies
and more annoying characters,"?
Then this movie is for you!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">That
sounds harsher than I mean it to. I
apologize to the scouts and their stripper friend. Let's break it down.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsVjfdgjKeVLFmxIeJi5gGR8AjOmjRNQto3RG2QG1Q_GB3DePgHEjCoSTzmjGJLruwGN24vEsqJxEdQdGs5Y0b6loK5-r8AIxuFPaP2pFgRiDFqrNA46zsKSgsDeh3r5Avih15reshW-E/s1600/scouts+-+denise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsVjfdgjKeVLFmxIeJi5gGR8AjOmjRNQto3RG2QG1Q_GB3DePgHEjCoSTzmjGJLruwGN24vEsqJxEdQdGs5Y0b6loK5-r8AIxuFPaP2pFgRiDFqrNA46zsKSgsDeh3r5Avih15reshW-E/s400/scouts+-+denise.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Ben,
Carter and Augie are sophomores in high school.
They are Boy Scouts. Augie loves
being a scout. Ben and Carter are
planning on quitting - because being a Boy Scout is super lame, you guys - but
don't want to hurt Augie's feelings. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
The three of them are going on an overnight scout trip with Scout Leader
Rodgers (a Dolly Parton-loving David Koechner) when Ben and Carter are invited
to a super-secret high school party by Kendall's (Carter's hot sister, who Ben
has a very obvious crush on) boyfriend.
But it's the same night as the camp-out!
What are these scouts going to do?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxs5LUx7NqXExIOQMUdlYnoiJMACg1u4HWKvYfYnZe-ldLDjy4hO6wkjT1vAfla1SfCERaSjBqEzjI_lCHfVNwlU44BeSz1ORkdgXOz02q_KRybyEZnVKUd1_f3zPUZWBNN09NGKgssYE/s1600/scouts+-+scout+leader.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxs5LUx7NqXExIOQMUdlYnoiJMACg1u4HWKvYfYnZe-ldLDjy4hO6wkjT1vAfla1SfCERaSjBqEzjI_lCHfVNwlU44BeSz1ORkdgXOz02q_KRybyEZnVKUd1_f3zPUZWBNN09NGKgssYE/s400/scouts+-+scout+leader.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
They're going to ditch Augie after he goes to sleep and go to the party,
because that sounds like a plan that will go very well. Somewhere along the line, they meet up with
Denise, a former high school dropout who now works at a local strip club.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFcnsCr1QA7los-QduLeB84zqaToIrb36x0Y5dKo9pTrmdMOtJNmzbf8VWhJcYcYoCzOn13DNe-shI41ShQoeyQWgrG20DJNYds9VQ5OGHOHA8ypNzqyEVff_nBTS9E_TYoSRcayoUwuU/s1600/scouts+-+strip+club.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFcnsCr1QA7los-QduLeB84zqaToIrb36x0Y5dKo9pTrmdMOtJNmzbf8VWhJcYcYoCzOn13DNe-shI41ShQoeyQWgrG20DJNYds9VQ5OGHOHA8ypNzqyEVff_nBTS9E_TYoSRcayoUwuU/s400/scouts+-+strip+club.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Pretty
standard high school sex comedy stuff, really.
Until the zombies show up.<br />
We see the outbreak at the beginning of the movie. They are being studied at some local sciency
place, which allows burnout janitors to just dance right into the zombie
zone. It seemed like they probably could
have secured the area a little better, but that's just me being cautious, I
guess.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/wfP_GdRFZL0?rel=0" width="420"></iframe></span></div>
</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">At
this point, Ben, Carter, Augie (who joins up with them after having some
adventures by himself) and Denise are still trying to get to the party. Not because they want to hook up with seniors
(they do, though), but because they want to save everyone there from the
zombies. Also, the military is planning
on wiping out the entire city to stop the zombie spread (as seen in <i>Resident Evil: Apocalypse, The Crazies,
Return of the Living Dead</i> and many, many more). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQc6Jj8dOz9_mMgdy6vJGSPuaRIElolaSiZCjxgYPpuNzx7TyqgOYk4rYlYsfhCHZ80nSBcoODLREjiFLUZp-NfDXHe0U5j6Z2SrfsbHZEruemw-YUNmIf4uXanP-4TTeUVxs5m3DwwJI/s1600/scouts+-+bedroom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQc6Jj8dOz9_mMgdy6vJGSPuaRIElolaSiZCjxgYPpuNzx7TyqgOYk4rYlYsfhCHZ80nSBcoODLREjiFLUZp-NfDXHe0U5j6Z2SrfsbHZEruemw-YUNmIf4uXanP-4TTeUVxs5m3DwwJI/s400/scouts+-+bedroom.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
just used a whole lot of words on a pretty simplistic plot. I apologize.
I could have just said, "high school boys attempt to procure
alcohol and bang girls way out of their league, also zombies." Or, to kind of repeat myself from earlier,
"<i>Superbad: Rave To The Grave</i>,"
complete with one of the characters (Carter) trying to be a skinny Jonah Hill
in the worst way. Anyway, let's get to
some thoughts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRdm6ba5djDQJ6tyYyIpa0Tk65uATgD3tP4uJkv7CezwP6MEIH1laVcdaHd2T_HnxqW9mL5RhjUxeLgAMVcjl5t61sktkO6H2R5prnNAVFdHjid_v5qbd30ly7vTF5otHsvvFfqpKvIzE/s1600/scouts+-+zombie+selfie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRdm6ba5djDQJ6tyYyIpa0Tk65uATgD3tP4uJkv7CezwP6MEIH1laVcdaHd2T_HnxqW9mL5RhjUxeLgAMVcjl5t61sktkO6H2R5prnNAVFdHjid_v5qbd30ly7vTF5otHsvvFfqpKvIzE/s400/scouts+-+zombie+selfie.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It
was fine. Carter's whole "Jonah
Hill in <i>Superbad</i>," act got old
really quick, and I didn't really care for bland Ben, but I really liked Augie and
Denise. I liked Augie because he wasn't
ashamed of who he was (he also created the best weapon when it came to killin'
time) and Denise because, underneath her gruff demeanor, was actually quite
sweet. Her and Ben formed a weird little
friendship that I genuinely enjoyed watching.
She treated Carter like garbage, because he was a jackass and needed to
be put in his place. I liked that,
because Carter deserves everything bad in this world.<br /><br />
Ultimately, we're talking about zombie comedy, so let's talk about the zombies.<br />
<br />
It was unclear how they were going to play it.
The first zombies we see are typical Romero zombies. We also see a zombie deer, so we know it can
cross species. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvWaTSrxRaqfLzj2rP0OtXJrlHBSNe7gF6K8DXYHq-yEqavbiKUr2WY55OOb4beLm5ZLc3NDDO3RaRZDEI323C4MFPTKaVc6yN-Ma5Z50goVfQcS2NlTOS-nFoT16jXpPMowr1B7m4hQc/s1600/scouts+-+zombie+cat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvWaTSrxRaqfLzj2rP0OtXJrlHBSNe7gF6K8DXYHq-yEqavbiKUr2WY55OOb4beLm5ZLc3NDDO3RaRZDEI323C4MFPTKaVc6yN-Ma5Z50goVfQcS2NlTOS-nFoT16jXpPMowr1B7m4hQc/s400/scouts+-+zombie+cat.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Also, cats.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Then we get to a scene early in the outbreak where our heroes are making a
stand in a liquor store parking lot. A
horde of zombies are lurching towards them.
Suddenly, one of the zombies goes down on all fours and starts running
at them like a flesh-eating ape. Okay
then. We're dealing with <i>Day of the Dead</i> (remake) zombies.<br />
We also find out that the zombies retain something of their pre-zombie
memories, much like latter day Romero zombies (as first seen in the original <i>Day of the Dead</i>). How do we find this out? Why, the scouts sing "...Baby One More
Time" to a zombie wearing a Britney Spears t-shirt, and the zombie
attempts to sing along. It's a highly
scientific method.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTq3TMGBWSFtKmppHo76N52AtgSwaP1zcPyXXCdBhUC-y4ijfJe1BTvCp_Qeqd_Z8_fJ-25ZMTy_f0FhSGqTRs_OSAI9SG3PYxpKQUiGa6f3abcs7F2otMZ6RH4yBk8LsPX7V7QWfXojc/s1600/scouts+-+hit+me+baby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="253" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTq3TMGBWSFtKmppHo76N52AtgSwaP1zcPyXXCdBhUC-y4ijfJe1BTvCp_Qeqd_Z8_fJ-25ZMTy_f0FhSGqTRs_OSAI9SG3PYxpKQUiGa6f3abcs7F2otMZ6RH4yBk8LsPX7V7QWfXojc/s400/scouts+-+hit+me+baby.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"My loneliness is killing meeeeee..."</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">There is some decent gore, especially when the scouts "weapon up" and
hit the party. They created a bunch of
zombie-killing weapons from random hardware store items, because apparently
they had all earned their Weapon Making merit badges. Lots of death, destruction, mayhem, etc.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
If you like the image of someone using a zombie penis as a handle, only to tear
that handle off and send it flying through the air, there is also a scene like
that. There is also a scene where
someone takes a selfie with a pair of zombie boobs.
I did not care for those scenes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVJttnXx9e6NjYifmGJ5bLvodxuxKvS718yiMKwK2A2qG7SsmmsBp1hZ3o37vObPdmjFsGhY7fqYBZAaJkOiKOmS5-Lod3dZn6wxcv7E7jmGQFV2xhsWtjWdzMz-fHFlBHYUBjasr_CuY/s1600/scouts+-+running+up+stairs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVJttnXx9e6NjYifmGJ5bLvodxuxKvS718yiMKwK2A2qG7SsmmsBp1hZ3o37vObPdmjFsGhY7fqYBZAaJkOiKOmS5-Lod3dZn6wxcv7E7jmGQFV2xhsWtjWdzMz-fHFlBHYUBjasr_CuY/s400/scouts+-+running+up+stairs.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
I can't say I enjoyed this movie all the way through, but there were enough
funny/bloody moments to keep me entertained.
There's something I had to keep in mind as I was watching this: I am 35
years old. This movie was not really
made with the "approaching middle-age man" in mind. If I was in high school or college, I'm sure
I would find this movie hilarious. It's
a bit of dumb fun with crude jokes, lots of gore and a little nudity. It's fast-moving enough to make it easy to
overlook its flaws.<br />
Although, honestly, if you switch out Carter for a character who is less
obnoxious, I'm sure I would have enjoyed this more than I did. As it stands, this was a fun movie that I
will probably never watch again. If I
do, it'll probably be on mute, in the background of a party. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtsEeDehp5ScRPohJ_ozMJQhAOTj01SEq7Oh5W71rc6aUso7Xlr2Uu93R-Qx4XFXBADLNIlCXYF4gN3OJ5pptEVwv3A2KVMTtW-r-WbpkaxjB6aPG9vrqepfvN8_ejvLpBivBwtQU7iGA/s1600/scouts+-+trapped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtsEeDehp5ScRPohJ_ozMJQhAOTj01SEq7Oh5W71rc6aUso7Xlr2Uu93R-Qx4XFXBADLNIlCXYF4gN3OJ5pptEVwv3A2KVMTtW-r-WbpkaxjB6aPG9vrqepfvN8_ejvLpBivBwtQU7iGA/s400/scouts+-+trapped.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
Who am I kidding? I don't have
parties. I apologize for lying to you
all.<br />
<br />
Rating: 3/5<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-89851797170035786402016-03-29T00:19:00.001-04:002016-04-07T15:06:33.842-04:00The Witch<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5akpoLcsvnKYvkdJsknJNeGFLNoZBt6_Ojdku-N_g9lzVVYQmtQErCoeYvPntwVoyhrFRJ3p0zX_uRi7ZmetxGH3RzWcu2Z6Bh0mvWefxTTl8r9XfoWz_qJJCdw3bF13vBhYgb2FHh80/s1600/witch+-+poster+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5akpoLcsvnKYvkdJsknJNeGFLNoZBt6_Ojdku-N_g9lzVVYQmtQErCoeYvPntwVoyhrFRJ3p0zX_uRi7ZmetxGH3RzWcu2Z6Bh0mvWefxTTl8r9XfoWz_qJJCdw3bF13vBhYgb2FHh80/s400/witch+-+poster+2.jpg" width="270" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
the third straight year a horror movie has made the festival rounds and
has received rave reviews from self-proclaimed non-horror fans. In 2014 it was <i>The Babadook</i>. In 2015 it was
<i>It Follows</i>. In 2016 we have <i>The Witch</i>. I consider myself
lucky in that I was able to avoid trailers for any of these films (which I was
shockingly able to accomplish without even trying too hard). However, it was impossible to ignore the hype
they all got. Even with that hype, <i>The Babadook</i> and <i>It Follows</i> exceeded my expectations. I went into <i>The Witch</i> hoping for the same experience. Going in, the only thing I knew about it was
that it was “terrifying.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO4YL6OizuZv2NBQLF3NU-pNRoxyb5zPFPxuYCU1CcvUyGvM3ftGkU4Co0OgUTVX_s8ThkFEq-oqvY9D91C3dFvUCZ6WIZGnHQuTQCjQM4t1m4ayNTQ7ER5eWVnQ4NL2GnG1bUc98yG_A/s1600/witch+-+thomasin+screaming.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO4YL6OizuZv2NBQLF3NU-pNRoxyb5zPFPxuYCU1CcvUyGvM3ftGkU4Co0OgUTVX_s8ThkFEq-oqvY9D91C3dFvUCZ6WIZGnHQuTQCjQM4t1m4ayNTQ7ER5eWVnQ4NL2GnG1bUc98yG_A/s400/witch+-+thomasin+screaming.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
feel like I should have a lot of smart things to say about this film. It is
set in 17th century New England and it uses a lot of authentic language and
accents. Some of the dialogue is
actually taken directly from journals written during that time period. It is a dark film, both figuratively and
literally: many shots are only provided the light of a candle. It sets a mood that is authentic to the time
period, but it also allows for lots of dark corners for things to hide. This is not the kind of film that has things
jumping out from dark corners, but that doesn't mean something isn't there, silently
peering from the darkness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKuRVmh9T_bCnot46MpN48BDnIY7G_lpKNLZ0MQM5q-BMEoOAy_DFlrVM2AnmbinY2eQcIuTx_Ti6aSdCZWdK7afFPSs5d7REt8VclIaJj2N9CIrkcYza7vfIrIyvMaDbNeQyvsLGSDB4/s1600/witch+-+thomasin+with+lantern.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKuRVmh9T_bCnot46MpN48BDnIY7G_lpKNLZ0MQM5q-BMEoOAy_DFlrVM2AnmbinY2eQcIuTx_Ti6aSdCZWdK7afFPSs5d7REt8VclIaJj2N9CIrkcYza7vfIrIyvMaDbNeQyvsLGSDB4/s400/witch+-+thomasin+with+lantern.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Perhaps
that’s part of why I feel like I should have smart things to say. Robert Eggers – the director – put a lot of
research and care into this film. Every
shot is a work of art. I was drawn in
from the opening scene. Watching this in
the theater was a truly immersive experience, and the rest of my theater seemed
to feel the same way, as I barely heard any noise throughout the entire
film. Or maybe they were asleep. It was impossible to tell.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin3DahpyQbzlDNDLLuDyrYFvN0601wIyml3QFT9k3_tvZ_ihgqROxFhyijT78mT_eo_MSqacmr7pI8iZqTp6MaxxbRotFWVgvZ2pKC_FKyjWrCDEdXXciMfCdqCkRq9X6ddBWAfBXMBhY/s1600/witch+-+william.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin3DahpyQbzlDNDLLuDyrYFvN0601wIyml3QFT9k3_tvZ_ihgqROxFhyijT78mT_eo_MSqacmr7pI8iZqTp6MaxxbRotFWVgvZ2pKC_FKyjWrCDEdXXciMfCdqCkRq9X6ddBWAfBXMBhY/s400/witch+-+william.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>NO ONE SLEEPS</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Now
let’s get back to the one word review I kept hearing uttered in hushed tones:
“terrifying.”</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">It was always spoken as if
the person saying it had been hiding beneath a blanket for months, but felt the
need to emerge to utter this declaration of warning.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
Maybe it’s because I have seen a lot of horror movies, but I did not find this
to be terrifying. I did, however, find
it to be deeply unsettling. Long after
the final image left the screen, I sat in my chair staring at the screen. I walked to my car in a daze. I wasn’t looking over my shoulder waiting for
something to pop out at me, but I was looking out into the misty afternoon,
wondering if something lurked in the fields beyond. I didn’t lose any sleep over this movie, but
I did find myself thinking about it constantly over the next week. There was not a particular scene I found
myself mulling over: it was the tone of the entire movie. The feeling of dread I felt and carried with
me out of that theater. That’s what I
kept coming back to. It wasn’t the movie
that stuck with me: it was that feeling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-LBA0cnMkqlKEVGlDZ2dueFhzrG5gwRMpsuCRmf_Puj1IqCWhKc7T9c-WC2rzy6CRbaSeKMQzjm11ZrNS0A8k8Po_T8A7arstb6elyb07Xg4AxQGz5THFjBnlLFaEhwr-8lT_xjng2_o/s1600/witch+-+family+at+woods.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-LBA0cnMkqlKEVGlDZ2dueFhzrG5gwRMpsuCRmf_Puj1IqCWhKc7T9c-WC2rzy6CRbaSeKMQzjm11ZrNS0A8k8Po_T8A7arstb6elyb07Xg4AxQGz5THFjBnlLFaEhwr-8lT_xjng2_o/s400/witch+-+family+at+woods.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
remember a similar feeling after watching the original <i>Night of the Living Dead</i> for the first time. The movies don't share many similarities, but
that feeling as I walked out of the theater was the same: like something dark
was hanging over my head that was impossible to shake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXmoEVVuaARdhZfXHdnq9zZ1nA0GC-myiAtlDg3jI3KJxL08S5tWmahK_qPmi9Knzx9odpbOwV5Y3QpyZWKl1Vla0xkRvydQEvjOpbDWQyrcXLHgAdW1-37XtF1hyphenhyphenYMkiYksACKgCd6_Y/s1600/witch+-+family+prayer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXmoEVVuaARdhZfXHdnq9zZ1nA0GC-myiAtlDg3jI3KJxL08S5tWmahK_qPmi9Knzx9odpbOwV5Y3QpyZWKl1Vla0xkRvydQEvjOpbDWQyrcXLHgAdW1-37XtF1hyphenhyphenYMkiYksACKgCd6_Y/s400/witch+-+family+prayer.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We
see the titular witch early in the film, which is a fascinating decision. As we watched a family grow more and more
suspicious of each other, Eggers easily could have played on that and make the
audience question whether there actually was a witch, or whether it was just
religious hysteria gripping the family.
Instead, we knew from early on that there was an actual witch lurking in
the woods. The question as to whether
someone in the family is actually in league with the witch (or Satan) is one
that the audience is forced to ask over and over again, but we have definitive
proof that there is, in fact, a witch.<br />
Knowing that there is a dark presence in the forest does not forgive the
religious fanaticism that threatens to tear the family apart, but it does cast
it in another light. The devil is real and
we know that to be true. What happens to
the family is driven by this presence, but it does not force them to blame each
other for everything that goes wrong.
The Puritanical oversimplification of religion - "all good comes
from God, all bad comes from Satan" - is on full display here. While I wish I could say that is simply the
product of a bygone era, I know all too well that this kind of thinking still
exists. It's not that simple. It has never been that simple. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
don’t want to say too much more, as I don’t want to spoil the movie. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie4tYCIBCgp-wEC7ZJ9FmnHp59j6prRjEsehjYGc2BAaInc-aI9ZimkacF4oWmbkQdKIaFHTJjFMl7yqjQSE_vC9e8tvibLf-D3zOvAkovwiW3hKz9Zcw42hq_HPM8kS24mxH09i7wjTA/s1600/witch-black_phillip_charging.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie4tYCIBCgp-wEC7ZJ9FmnHp59j6prRjEsehjYGc2BAaInc-aI9ZimkacF4oWmbkQdKIaFHTJjFMl7yqjQSE_vC9e8tvibLf-D3zOvAkovwiW3hKz9Zcw42hq_HPM8kS24mxH09i7wjTA/s400/witch-black_phillip_charging.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
cast was perfect (Black Phillip included).
The movie was a bit slow at points, but I was so riveted by what I was
seeing that I never felt bored or that the movie was dragging.<br />
The soundtrack really helped propel this movie to another level. Creepy atmospherics combined with a slowly
bubbling cacophony that ended in massive eruptions. It really upped the "creep
factor." There is nothing
inherently creepy about looking at a bunch of trees, but this movie managed to
do that multiple times, and the soundtrack was a huge part of that. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidnJ4H6tR4FU6qdl6sIPvZfE7cFi77pBbFh55xbghEYgRQmy6TvIx_Lxb1EgQgLt05VJblMK6irG-WI4Ze1C_zxO9UqyOsH6kzTWz-1IDh1qBAyMpHfVH05pvyCVlC8TT0911iXjSV_OM/s1600/witch+-+thomasin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidnJ4H6tR4FU6qdl6sIPvZfE7cFi77pBbFh55xbghEYgRQmy6TvIx_Lxb1EgQgLt05VJblMK6irG-WI4Ze1C_zxO9UqyOsH6kzTWz-1IDh1qBAyMpHfVH05pvyCVlC8TT0911iXjSV_OM/s400/witch+-+thomasin.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Thomasin waits for a bass drop that will never come</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">This
was not a terrifying movie.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">If you’re
looking for jump scares, you will not find them here. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">But if you want a slow burning, unnerving horror
thriller with disturbing imagery, you owe it to yourself to watch this
movie.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">On a grey day, turn off the
lights and spend some time with this movie.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Focus on it.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Let it transport you
back to that specific time and place in history and feel what it was like.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZwOPdfTWtEt-f09F6yo3941eK7FwA_MiooH4Trv0O8IdqV83iVLGwkSNft_OXATsDbMk-udbbCJ_SlM9g0J48HbtAddL-LWM8I-NmXdJAx1l6Vq2e9SAOIOX-60ziHVB4DXfdFd-pVTM/s1600/witch+-+laughing+children.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZwOPdfTWtEt-f09F6yo3941eK7FwA_MiooH4Trv0O8IdqV83iVLGwkSNft_OXATsDbMk-udbbCJ_SlM9g0J48HbtAddL-LWM8I-NmXdJAx1l6Vq2e9SAOIOX-60ziHVB4DXfdFd-pVTM/s400/witch+-+laughing+children.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br />
Unlike <i>The Babadook</i> and <i>It Follows</i>, the hype hurts this
movie. It didn’t reach out and grab
me. But, after thinking about it for a
couple weeks, I think I really love this movie.
The authentic language can be tough to understand sometimes, but that’s
a small complaint. In the end, it really
helped pull me into that period.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Rating: 5/5<br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-30171418987409020472016-02-14T11:18:00.000-05:002016-02-14T11:18:08.693-05:00The Final Girls<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpS8kmyB0ktaahEZ8HPqMT2i8KOvC8CjzHtIyZZeEkxV3ySxnKL4h5XRjmzEf2PnxsFOYtoJxj6Z5cxdE0Q4imW1cVyY3MR8jtudak-C6esiFRFa-4gxtyklZArvGM277rZu6MUX8rAF0/s1600/final+girls+-+poster.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpS8kmyB0ktaahEZ8HPqMT2i8KOvC8CjzHtIyZZeEkxV3ySxnKL4h5XRjmzEf2PnxsFOYtoJxj6Z5cxdE0Q4imW1cVyY3MR8jtudak-C6esiFRFa-4gxtyklZArvGM277rZu6MUX8rAF0/s400/final+girls+-+poster.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I’m
a sucker for a typical horror movie told from a different perspective. <i>Scream</i>,
<i>Cabin in the Woods</i> and <i>Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon</i>
are a few of the more popular movies in this genre, but <i>The Final Girls</i> tends to lean more towards <i>Midnight Movie</i> or <i>Camp Daze</i>
(aka <i>Camp Slaughter</i>) than those other
options.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCnijPp924R-ra2uaIbtp5J4tUieucAmHPDiZHwDh6V28LAVNTMv0v0ABg_N3X3juAXJVNcmB8KroKvnmsjrrXjjkHcl5s0HfKWYIJzgr7iAdweeZj7Ik2_GEibPXE8T0QUl9bmZLXqsk/s1600/final+girls+-+billy.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCnijPp924R-ra2uaIbtp5J4tUieucAmHPDiZHwDh6V28LAVNTMv0v0ABg_N3X3juAXJVNcmB8KroKvnmsjrrXjjkHcl5s0HfKWYIJzgr7iAdweeZj7Ik2_GEibPXE8T0QUl9bmZLXqsk/s400/final+girls+-+billy.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Let’s
set this up: Max’s mother (Amanda) had a small role in an 80s slasher movie
called <i>Camp Bloodbath</i> (it was
basically <i>Friday the 13th</i>, much like <i>Midnight Movie</i>’s movie-within-a-movie
was basically <i>Texas Chain Saw Massacre</i>). Twenty-to-thirty years later, she was still
trying to make it as an actress, but was hamstrung by her appearance in this
campy horror film. On her way back from
yet another audition she likely wouldn't get the part for, she and Max get in a
car accident and Amanda dies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Three
years later, Max is still dealing with her mother’s death. The school she is attending is showing <i>Camp Bloodbath</i> on the big screen and Max
is pressured into making an appearance.
During the movie, a fire breaks out in the theater, and Max – along with
a handful of her friends – find the only escape is by cutting through the
screen and going through a door in the back.
By doing this, they somehow find themselves having been pulled into the
movie. When Max comes across her mother,
she is not actually Amanda; she is Nancy, her character in <i>Camp Bloodbath</i>. Duncan – the
movie geek – proclaims that they shouldn’t mess with the events of the movie,
but to let everything play out exactly like it’s supposed to. “Don’t think of them as people,” he
says. “Think of them as animals in a
nature preserve.” Of course, they find
that is not necessarily the case.
(Duncan naturally knows all the lines in the movie, so he gleefully
quotes lines these characters are saying in front of him and gets giddy at the
prospect of their impending death.)<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG_nVyAeOE___X0ezgt-b01XUnfQbf_SDx7l0fCLeakYCHtaJKloHqyuPG5UGxNltYNQdallA4uGQm9g909f29cKAHVu1BGiakjkTpOpriQhS2ZVa0stPlK1lhAPo6nFTt3KKkNHyGtGM/s1600/final+girls+-+cast.png" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="172" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG_nVyAeOE___X0ezgt-b01XUnfQbf_SDx7l0fCLeakYCHtaJKloHqyuPG5UGxNltYNQdallA4uGQm9g909f29cKAHVu1BGiakjkTpOpriQhS2ZVa0stPlK1lhAPo6nFTt3KKkNHyGtGM/s400/final+girls+-+cast.png" width="400" /></a></span></div>
</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Since
our characters are inside the movie, there is a lot of playing around with
movie conventions (my personal favorite is the flashback scene). There are a lot of laughs, as people from the
modern age are forced to interact with horror movie stereotypes from the 80s
(the conversations between Chris and Kurt absolutely killed me). <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXcXzxH4Tj8fcoCgimUWgLpJwZhBfSPOfYzq7Nm_Fv_Kh8BmEe-8dK6ff9PgT8-JU2jH3fMsrwQWws4hXVXtj6ZMfkz92M6Ci2Vtje3J0W8_sVBQMHvKm39_Y_O1v0M0n3ORYXxjcTld8/s1600/final+girls+-+surprised.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXcXzxH4Tj8fcoCgimUWgLpJwZhBfSPOfYzq7Nm_Fv_Kh8BmEe-8dK6ff9PgT8-JU2jH3fMsrwQWws4hXVXtj6ZMfkz92M6Ci2Vtje3J0W8_sVBQMHvKm39_Y_O1v0M0n3ORYXxjcTld8/s400/final+girls+-+surprised.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">But
what really drew me in was the surprisingly strong emotional core. Throughout the film, we see how the death of
Amanda has absolutely devastated Max.
Now, Max has another chance to spend time with her mother (even though
Nancy is not technically her mother; rather she is the character that her mother
played in <i>Camp Bloodbath</i>). From the scenes we saw of Max and Amanda, it
seems like Max was the responsible one in that relationship. That carries over here, but we also get a
chance to see Nancy play a bit of a motherly role for Max. It's remarkably sweet and heartbreaking. Taissa Farmiga and Malin Akerman played their
roles perfectly. It never felt forced or
manipulative. It felt real.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYYDuORauQDrYU05Y-2WK1xpeLzD_0djVLiqb_BFFvTtZeKYDk27kd7dEvYH0Ifg-F_l_5mMnmpXKOgmf-SkxkjsWARgj6peYmT8dla3tpQqx3Z6jDVu7ODr_En4-6f5-cUUHsi7Gbeyk/s1600/final+girls+-+max+and+nancy.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYYDuORauQDrYU05Y-2WK1xpeLzD_0djVLiqb_BFFvTtZeKYDk27kd7dEvYH0Ifg-F_l_5mMnmpXKOgmf-SkxkjsWARgj6peYmT8dla3tpQqx3Z6jDVu7ODr_En4-6f5-cUUHsi7Gbeyk/s400/final+girls+-+max+and+nancy.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
writing was great and the entire cast was tremendous. With the exception of a couple of the
characters in <i>Camp Bloodbath</i>, all of
the characters here felt real (and those characters only lacked depth because
they were playing one-note stereotypes in an 80s slasher film). There was a depth behind them that I wasn't
expecting. That helped some of the jokes
to land, but it also helped me to feel more connected to them. When they die - and most of the do die - I
was sad. We pulled back the curtain of
slasher films and found that maybe we shouldn't root so hard for some of the
unlikable characters to die; maybe they aren't as terrible as they appear to be
at first blush.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
had a few issues with this, but all of those issues are minimal compared to
what I loved about it. This movie was
smart, hysterical and more emotional than I would have thought.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ6ri9Cj_UEpwqzZq0AATq13Jho3x_z81W-hUoRcb3GvqjkT6nxHwf15w1FB8kTUNzEGGQrOcMRA0fnBKnLPhmc8MW8kNtbGe5gIfHkZuFOrS69GGCoQJmTLeOJOObd54tBa-OORIy8vs/s1600/final+girls+-+fight.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ6ri9Cj_UEpwqzZq0AATq13Jho3x_z81W-hUoRcb3GvqjkT6nxHwf15w1FB8kTUNzEGGQrOcMRA0fnBKnLPhmc8MW8kNtbGe5gIfHkZuFOrS69GGCoQJmTLeOJOObd54tBa-OORIy8vs/s400/final+girls+-+fight.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Rating:
5/5<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Notable
actors: Malin Akerman, Taissa Farmiga, Nina Dobrev, Thomas Middleditch, Alia
Shawkat, Adam DeVine<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-73866254949293424502015-08-13T21:48:00.003-04:002015-08-13T21:48:54.739-04:00Creep<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8FUDeqCXj7XDlvbQemxebTAdqh6bQltWXTQXNh0KmamsOXrEh1sq9-nkbxD3_I4wvOKOHIefF0FciNEvHV1dQVqRaAkbj8nqXoQfuGf7heBwiY-I9D4fxq-afgA98EXVpHHU8yHuJzbY/s1600/creep+-+poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8FUDeqCXj7XDlvbQemxebTAdqh6bQltWXTQXNh0KmamsOXrEh1sq9-nkbxD3_I4wvOKOHIefF0FciNEvHV1dQVqRaAkbj8nqXoQfuGf7heBwiY-I9D4fxq-afgA98EXVpHHU8yHuJzbY/s400/creep+-+poster.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">This
is a found footage movie, and the set-up is simple: Aaron answers an ad placed
by Josef, a man who is dying of cancer.
As a father-to-be, he wants someone to record a day in his life, so his
son will be able to see the kind of man his father really was. Josef even references the film <i>My Life</i>, in which Michael Keaton does
pretty much the exact same thing. I kind
of chuckled, because I love the idea of someone taking life cues from a subpar
Michael Keaton movie. But I digress.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7-T17GRrUHObMpwTozbqfKLSIUHudzJOXLokv4kAJt9J2G2oAFhHLCXlqNycIzDXfx2QId-8_fI6aIV7bJUYleCTColWMeWkx9hlWwru5cSNGobnvBBkfO4rS03eIx9Nbm2VpD_zYyrM/s1600/creep+-+duplass+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7-T17GRrUHObMpwTozbqfKLSIUHudzJOXLokv4kAJt9J2G2oAFhHLCXlqNycIzDXfx2QId-8_fI6aIV7bJUYleCTColWMeWkx9hlWwru5cSNGobnvBBkfO4rS03eIx9Nbm2VpD_zYyrM/s400/creep+-+duplass+2.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Listen guys, there's this movie called Game 6...</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
We all know where this is going. We know
that someone is the titular Creep, and we’re pretty sure that someone is Josef,
mainly due to his penchant for jumping out at Aaron from hidden corners and
wearing a cheap werewolf mask he calls “Peachfuzz”. The clues are subtle, but I was able to pick
up on them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDY2NoYndf0pebCewCAx2tRI14CRVVp_vh1zMjWqVPnk-kl1U8SJKbsTsqjUHczbhhCIkEMjPjqWNdWAwOOdTR3H_FDRpKFQ-eEyevZpg0gOyLRkQE5xmtQXiGMLdKVPjMU7sGkUI63Wg/s1600/creep+-+peachfuzz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDY2NoYndf0pebCewCAx2tRI14CRVVp_vh1zMjWqVPnk-kl1U8SJKbsTsqjUHczbhhCIkEMjPjqWNdWAwOOdTR3H_FDRpKFQ-eEyevZpg0gOyLRkQE5xmtQXiGMLdKVPjMU7sGkUI63Wg/s400/creep+-+peachfuzz.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Pictured: Maybe a Creep. It's hard to tell for sure.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
Eventually, Aaron picks up on these clues and decides to leave Josef, a grown
man who thinks it’s acceptable to say “tubby time” in the presence of another
human being. I thought this would be the
finale: a game of Peachfuzz and mouse in an empty house. I was mistaken. The movie went in a slightly different
direction at that point, and I was happy that I did not have to sit through 30
minutes of seeing the camera look over a couch slowly, then run down the
steps. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.<br />
<br />
For spoiler related reasons, I won’t get into where the movie went from
there. It was an interesting little
twist, but it didn’t add much to the movie.
I understand that this was not an action-filled gore-fest, but there was
a ton of dead time in this movie. I feel
like they thought it was creepier than it actually was.<br />
<br />
This was an extremely small movie. There
are only two actors listed: Patrick Brice (Aaron) and Mark Duplass
(Josef). We actually hear a female voice
over a phone at one point, but we never see her and the voice is
uncredited. To love a movie like this,
you have to connect with the characters.
Or, at least, not actively loathe them.
That was a test this movie failed for me. Mark Duplass was basically his same character
from <i>The League</i>, only with eyes that
were slightly more dead. He still had
that same smarmy look, and I couldn’t shake it.
He didn’t scare me. He annoyed
me.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZqW3yNysG1ggzk0bLEh5i1Rvb2jB2sQB_XIluvIZ7FQOF_2vc4_tw2kn3IEGvbgBDT4OSa9-DbM0jytUDTe3XsbvzMizLEefFGnLhMNxO21gh_xVrsugXhnlLMXpqX5xub5lUUff9tQE/s1600/creep+-+duplass+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZqW3yNysG1ggzk0bLEh5i1Rvb2jB2sQB_XIluvIZ7FQOF_2vc4_tw2kn3IEGvbgBDT4OSa9-DbM0jytUDTe3XsbvzMizLEefFGnLhMNxO21gh_xVrsugXhnlLMXpqX5xub5lUUff9tQE/s400/creep+-+duplass+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>*Adrian Peterson joke*</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Aaron wasn’t much better. After escaping
the house, he had a number of moments where he is just talking to the camera,
and he came off as a vlogger talking about what kind of dinner he was going to
make that night, only with worse decision-making.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgbcxfDC5_hhH5wp9ujNd3YPplj0CDFEJXQoKYgyT2xt3Xd1MEwSW3a5JzlKYHrJWBf_Bk7EePaafB_nhN0UZeOopCR7Pc2oMUMTBy2LaSKXj4Pw6Zh3XH8pFZ-k6fdFygG6lodzmTQeI/s1600/creep+-+aaron.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgbcxfDC5_hhH5wp9ujNd3YPplj0CDFEJXQoKYgyT2xt3Xd1MEwSW3a5JzlKYHrJWBf_Bk7EePaafB_nhN0UZeOopCR7Pc2oMUMTBy2LaSKXj4Pw6Zh3XH8pFZ-k6fdFygG6lodzmTQeI/s400/creep+-+aaron.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"Went to the store to buy parsley, but they were out. Hashtag parsley life."</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I understand what is going on here. In
this era of sequels, remakes and reboots, we have a tendency to champion
anything that is new. <i>Creep</i> is a perfectly fine movie that
grabbed a lot of hype for being small and original (or, at least, a new take on
an old story). There's nothing wrong
with that. Had I stumbled across this
myself, I probably would have enjoyed it a little more than I did. But, even then, I don't think it would have
grabbed me as much as it seemed to grab others.
It's worth watching, but don't expect anything mind-blowing.</span></div>
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Rating: 2/5<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-60913720352454077602015-07-04T01:10:00.003-04:002015-07-04T01:10:50.313-04:00Michael Bay's "The Birds"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">I’m a member of a pretty stupid horror group on Facebook. I don’t know why I’m still a member there. I probably just don’t think very much of myself as a person.</span><br style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;" /><br style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">Anyway, there was a recent post where someone was talking about the news of the remake of </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">The Birds</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">. It went something like this: “ZOMG Michael Bay is remaking </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">The Birds</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">. I bet there will be exploding birds. LOL. Why do they keep ruining such great movies. My childhood is ruined and I hate everything.” I did a quick Google search for “Michael Bay Birds Remake”, and there are hundreds of scorching hot takes, all basically saying the same thing. “This is bad. That’s bad. Everything is bad. Michael Bay is bad. Explosions.” And so on. So I thought I would offer my take, even if the news is a few months old by this point.</span><br style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;" /><br style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">I am no Michael Bay apologist. He made some movies I legitimately enjoyed (</span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">Bad Boys</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">, </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">The Rock</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">, </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">The Island</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;"> and the first </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">Transformers</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;"> movie, mainly), but he has his share of terrible movies as well (</span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">Pearl Harbor</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">, </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">Armageddon</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">, every </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">Transformers</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;"> movie after the first one and probably </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">Pain & Gain</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">, though I refuse to watch it).</span><br style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;" /><br style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">My personal feelings about the movies he has directed don’t really matter, though. He’s not directing this movie. His production company – Platinum Dunes – is producing it. There is a big difference between “Michael Bay is directing this movie” and “Michael Bay is producing this movie.” In fact, you could just leave Michael Bay completely out of the discussion; that’s how little his directing history has anything to do with this.</span><br style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">Here is a list of movies Platinum Dunes has produced, along with a few thoughts I have on them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">2003 – </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">The Texas Chainsaw Massacre</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;"> (Remake)</span><br style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">It has a completely different feel from the original, but I think that helps it. I really like this. It’s not a great movie, but it’s a pretty fun movie. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />2005 – <i>The Amityville Horror</i> (Remake)<br />
One of my favorite remakes. I enjoyed
this version better than the original.
Ryan Reynolds is fantastic.</span><br />
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2006 – <i>The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The
Beginning</i><br />
I don’t know that I would slap the “fun” label on this, but I like it pretty
well. Some familiar faces (mainly
Jordana Brewster and Matt Bomer) certainly don’t hurt. I didn’t really need to see the origin of Leatherface
(especially a Leatherface that is nastier than he is in the original), but it
didn’t bother me. There were some
moments in this that made me squirm.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />2007 – <i>The Hitcher</i> (Remake)<br />
Haven’t seen this one, but it’s on my list.
For Sean Bean and Neal McDonough if nothing else.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />2009 – <i>The Unborn</i><br />
Fun fact: my brother snuck me into the theater to see this movie, as it had
sold out before I got there. I hated
this when I first saw it, but it has grown on me over the years. That’s due to the laughable dialog more than
anything else. I quote this movie way
more than I should.</span><br />
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2009 – <i>Friday the 13th</i> (Remake? Sequel?
Reboot?)<br />
A perfectly fine little slasher. I
really liked their attempt to tie it in with the original series. That was a nice touch. I’ve seen this movie quite a few times, yet I
have a hard time remembering exactly what happens. Not a bad movie, but far from a great one.</span><br />
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2009 – <i>Horsemen</i><br />
Haven’t seen it. I’ve heard good things,
though.</span><br />
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2010 – <i>A Nightmare on Elm Street</i>
(Remake)<br />
I don’t understand the hate for this movie.
I guess Robert Englund is so closely associated with Freddy Krueger that
putting someone else in the role was never going to be well-received. I liked how it skewed darker, especially
given how comical the <i>Nightmare on Elm
Street</i> series got as it progressed (<i>New
Nightmare</i> being the exception). I
liked this movie.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />2013 – <i>The Purge</i><br />
Love the concept. Hated the family this
centered on. They made terrible
decisions and I honestly didn’t care if they survived the night.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />2014 – <i>The Purge: Anarchy</i><br />
Better than the first one, in that we get to see more of what happens during Purge
Night, but it still falls victim to the “no characters to love” problem. There wasn’t enough carnage to overlook the
fact that the characters were all awful (Frank Grillo’s rugged handsomeness
notwithstanding).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />2014 – <i>Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles</i><br />
Pretty terrible, but this movie was not made for me. It was made for children. And, judging by the theater I was in, it
seemed to go over pretty well with that group.
(I will say that I absolutely loved the little scene of Will Arnett
eating a sandwich with mustard and Parmesan cheese. They should call that thing a G.O.B., guy.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />2014 – <i>Ouija</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Haven’t
seen it. I may see it at some point, but
I haven’t gotten to that point yet. By
all accounts, it’s a perfectly fine starter horror flick for teenagers.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTNmBL8aOpvwN2UYDE6cPJeKLiIlHYaJfl6mNqPiFX1n6hn49A12ENIzw48lIBmcO8uTQ7lNpiFeSwpNTZnSdTxAuzh5uaFVTQU2NNQRAOnx82_mQjh7vLADcKJptPqaMcgeiqyli_xq0/s1600/bay+-+project+almanac.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTNmBL8aOpvwN2UYDE6cPJeKLiIlHYaJfl6mNqPiFX1n6hn49A12ENIzw48lIBmcO8uTQ7lNpiFeSwpNTZnSdTxAuzh5uaFVTQU2NNQRAOnx82_mQjh7vLADcKJptPqaMcgeiqyli_xq0/s400/bay+-+project+almanac.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />2015 – <i>Project Almanac</i><br />
Haven’t seen it. Haven’t talked to
anyone who has seen it. The trailer made
it look awful, but I really have no read on this.<br />
<br />
That’s not a bad list. Not a single
movie on that list makes me mad that it exists.
One that I love, a couple that are not very good, and the rest sit right
around replacement level horror (or slightly above).<br />
<br />
So relax. Michael Bay is not going to
ruin <i>The Birds</i>, mainly because he’s
not going to have anything to do with it other than helping to fund it. If the mere idea of <i>The Birds</i> getting remade makes you angry, just don’t go see
it. Show your support (or lack of
support) through your money.<br />
If <i>The Birds</i> is bad, you’ll have to
find someone other than Michael Bay to blame for it. I understand that he’s easy to make fun of,
but all I’ve seen so far are the same lazy jokes. And they don’t even apply here.<br />
<br />
<i>The Birds</i> probably doesn’t need to be
remade, but I could say that about a great many of movies that have been
remade. Some of them are good. Some of them are bad. Not a single one of them has ruined the
original for me. <br />
<br />
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: we’re living in a great era for
horror. There are great independent
horror movies being released through VOD all the time. The “direct-to-video” label is no longer a
curse. Find something you love and
support it in any way you can.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-26173985279841682272015-06-26T01:18:00.000-04:002015-06-26T01:18:05.665-04:00Exists<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyUCIXQlTtV4Vfca1lCcDCStx2LMsQBzM6XzC4sodzPypNbZO1wAuyGTAzqscJ3as7-VYzP5opN959zc6NLnifZDC2sy_ZBS_0KVKi2MEclZP4ZbYDRak1ixiGtQtSTkRJMcCkMGHUB3w/s1600/Exists+-+Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyUCIXQlTtV4Vfca1lCcDCStx2LMsQBzM6XzC4sodzPypNbZO1wAuyGTAzqscJ3as7-VYzP5opN959zc6NLnifZDC2sy_ZBS_0KVKi2MEclZP4ZbYDRak1ixiGtQtSTkRJMcCkMGHUB3w/s400/Exists+-+Poster.jpg" width="270" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Apologies
for my time away. </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I have excuses, but
they’re not particularly good ones.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">But
I’m back and hoping to be updating this on a regular basis.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I’m sure this is great news for the 2 of you
who actually visit this site.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">One of the main
complaints about <i>Willow Creek</i> (the Bobcat
Goldthwait directed found footage Bigfoot movie) was the extreme lack of
Bigfoot. There were noises (so many
noises) and a naked lady who may-or-may-not have been part of Bigfoot’s harem,
but Bigfoot himself is never seen. I
kept saying, “Well, at 80 minutes, at least it’s short.”<br />
<br />
Then <i>Exists</i> came along. It’s 81 minutes, and we get heaps of
Bigfoot. So much Bigfoot, you guys. On top of that, it was directed by Eduardo
Sanchez, who pretty much gave birth to the modern found footage genre (for better or worse) with <i>The Blair Witch Project</i>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi53jHUMe9Ya-5UhyphenhyphentJ-qtlcWgIOfb5_xadTfDNSUfhaThm3ETJk3Mv6rfvLHFOQ0OFge4daPW5YxD_cODHZMaYzyE4jScsU5jWhRE8ew9Z_GRHwRQLhSwXk5pgAeG9IOqY2pw3EVQNEzY/s1600/Exists+-+Bigfoot+Running.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi53jHUMe9Ya-5UhyphenhyphentJ-qtlcWgIOfb5_xadTfDNSUfhaThm3ETJk3Mv6rfvLHFOQ0OFge4daPW5YxD_cODHZMaYzyE4jScsU5jWhRE8ew9Z_GRHwRQLhSwXk5pgAeG9IOqY2pw3EVQNEzY/s400/Exists+-+Bigfoot+Running.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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The set-up is easy enough: a handful of teenagers spend a weekend in a remote
cabin. They hit something with their
car, but they never figure out what it was.
Then Bigfoot shows up and lays waste to everyone and everything. <br />
Did you like your bike? Too bad, because
Bigfoot will crush the frame into a tangled heap and throw it right at your
door. <br />
Try to make an escape? Bigfoot will run
you down, break your legs and throw you in a prison of his own creation.<br />
Hide in the cabin? Bigfoot will rip
every door off its hinges and destroy everything you love.<br />
Find an empty RV to hide in? Bigfoot
will find you, push the RV down a hill, then jump off the ropes and land a
killer finishing move (this was my favorite scene in the movie. I rewound it at least twice).</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIvDbliXBNvunYjR_LljZNWzd1kFZ73dI8u_hkvc9AkMx1rprZVTTnAh0uzLCWrTaJcAJhtdw3vca1Z1p85G6zUjbU8LIAiSZXFo_XEeCiOgCnFCNgqbRgpIxs2qr8d5IX_SKgUK1iIm8/s1600/Exists+-+Bigfoot+Jumping.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIvDbliXBNvunYjR_LljZNWzd1kFZ73dI8u_hkvc9AkMx1rprZVTTnAh0uzLCWrTaJcAJhtdw3vca1Z1p85G6zUjbU8LIAiSZXFo_XEeCiOgCnFCNgqbRgpIxs2qr8d5IX_SKgUK1iIm8/s400/Exists+-+Bigfoot+Jumping.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The People's Bigfoot</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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It’s a tornado of destruction, and we get to see all of it, thanks to an overeager
stoner with dozens of GoPro cameras at his disposal.<br />
<br />
It’s not an amazing movie, but it’s a really fun movie. The acting is solid, but the characters aren’t
particularly great. The dialog was fine,
but nothing to write home about (I tend to write home whenever I see a movie
with great writing. I write to my old
address, so now some stranger receives these transmissions). I went into this movie wanting nothing more
than a rampaging Bigfoot, and I got exactly that. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGmYyq96RTBjbwIO8UyMgtiqOjOHU75GBApc0elLs1u3Idef7SdmQISvxxM73Coyn0KzGpGcS-Y-23KZgvgY_l_E7y0QjDvgwMrgPsEGAv6BFZhJUhvoVhGxn6Y_FETU34cJPOWyS05P4/s1600/Exists+-+Bigfoot+Night+Vision.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGmYyq96RTBjbwIO8UyMgtiqOjOHU75GBApc0elLs1u3Idef7SdmQISvxxM73Coyn0KzGpGcS-Y-23KZgvgY_l_E7y0QjDvgwMrgPsEGAv6BFZhJUhvoVhGxn6Y_FETU34cJPOWyS05P4/s400/Exists+-+Bigfoot+Night+Vision.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Do you like the idea of watching a movie about a rampaging Bigfoot? Of course you do, because you love beautiful
things. Watch this movie.<br />
<br />
Rating: 4/5 </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-25889372554383250422015-04-09T23:43:00.000-04:002015-04-09T23:43:31.649-04:00It Follows: Surviving "The It"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZHZepqpEGwsssM1JfDkTg1vRHunz9eQ2AqmqIeQnJWeaYFqI4DaiP7mpqy8mrPulKfFbo75E3-0hh_9PNDaKeoG06la8Rnl5WmHGiu25byHiKEpjBH2KQCO0q-Td0UAQSSsMVD-38VL4/s1600/It+Follows+-+Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZHZepqpEGwsssM1JfDkTg1vRHunz9eQ2AqmqIeQnJWeaYFqI4DaiP7mpqy8mrPulKfFbo75E3-0hh_9PNDaKeoG06la8Rnl5WmHGiu25byHiKEpjBH2KQCO0q-Td0UAQSSsMVD-38VL4/s1600/It+Follows+-+Poster.jpg" height="400" width="280" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">This
post will contain spoilers. </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">So, if you
haven't seen </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">It Follows</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">, you should
probably go see it immediately, then come back for this.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I've
been thinking about this movie non-stop since I've seen it. One of the ideas I've been kicking around
lately has been the best way to get rid of The It. Paul driving around the ruins of Detroit
trolling for cheap hookers seems like a pretty good idea at first blush (plus,
his undercover knit cap was pretty killer).
That prostitute will likely have sex with another man within the day,
thus getting two people between Paul and The It.<br />
But there are a few problems with this.
For starters, neither the prostitute nor the john know anything about
this sinister being stalking them. You remember
how quickly Greg - the Johnny Depp/Skeet Ulrich looking neighbor - was
killed? They will be killed at least
that quickly, because they don't know what's coming for them. So it buys time, but not a ton. I've thought about the rules for this, and I
like to think of it like a game of tag.
Let's take a look at the prostitute.
Once she has sex, she has passed it on.
It's not like she's a carrier and passes it on to every guy she has sex
with. You can only pass it on when you
are “it”. She'll transmit it to the
first guy she has sex with, but then it's on him.<br />
And who is this guy? I don't know, but I
can tell you this: he's not coming from out of town to sleep with a prostitute,
so he's from Detroit, or somewhere in the surrounding area. There's a safe bet that the guy paying money
for a Detroit hooker isn't rolling in females, so he's not likely to pass it on
anytime soon. If he does, it's likely to
be someone else in the area. <br />
My point is this: none of these people know something is after them, and none
of them are leaving the area. So The It
will just be circling around in the Detroit area, knocking all these people
off. Perhaps The It will never be able
to untangle the sex-web (sorry for saying "sex-web") to make its way
back to Paul and Jay. Maybe the
prostitute just keeps having sex before The It kills her, and it never comes
back to Paul.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8IQGpBTHyJlvqPADDkHIPq9a2cvetBIwCtyo9jXUZbPzGfk34dnxeSGONlp1yXsULV-29qcSzLA1qsFbU7Pp14mcJarldWNgUm3BHrSpnNMLdgLpyM9tysteGRWfngDNYfym_s_I7mb8/s1600/It+Follows+-+Paul.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8IQGpBTHyJlvqPADDkHIPq9a2cvetBIwCtyo9jXUZbPzGfk34dnxeSGONlp1yXsULV-29qcSzLA1qsFbU7Pp14mcJarldWNgUm3BHrSpnNMLdgLpyM9tysteGRWfngDNYfym_s_I7mb8/s1600/It+Follows+-+Paul.jpg" height="250" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"Hey pretty lady. What's your sign?"</i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Again, not a bad plan, but I believe there are better plans. Here are the two I have come up with:<br />
<br />
1. The same plan as Paul's, but with a slight twist. Buy a ticket to Vegas and locate a prostitute. There are people from all over the world looking
for prostitutes in Vegas. Have sex, and
within 15 minutes of leaving The It has already moved to someone past the
hooker (15 minutes is a rough estimate.
I really have no idea. I assume
the turnaround time for sex in Vegas is pretty short). Unless it ends up landing on someone in the
city of Detroit, it will likely never find its way back to Paul. If this goes according to plan, there will be
a string of infected people placed across the globe. It may track down and kill someone in
Florida, only to have to walk to Italy for the next one. It's pretty cost-effective, too: I just
checked and you can nab a nonstop flight from Detroit to Las Vegas that costs
around $300.<br />
For good measure, drive a couple hundred miles outside the city a day or two
before your flight leaves. This will
ensure that you will not be a nervous wreck in the event of a delay in your
flight. You don’t want to be sitting
there on the flight, only to see a naked family member shambling by your
window.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9mncdgPNApYGNIX2pisH5ifjGIXcJrQbktQlYB6yekjp5a3gI8g4U6Z6RviTqvHzGgtMUvoim07AhhWDsCb0BrB-DUEoSLEKZjFiVTmiIdNS14uqdkrDNybnrE67-QDiuAD0BKpHuXmE/s1600/It+Follows+-+Old+Woman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9mncdgPNApYGNIX2pisH5ifjGIXcJrQbktQlYB6yekjp5a3gI8g4U6Z6RviTqvHzGgtMUvoim07AhhWDsCb0BrB-DUEoSLEKZjFiVTmiIdNS14uqdkrDNybnrE67-QDiuAD0BKpHuXmE/s1600/It+Follows+-+Old+Woman.jpg" height="158" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />2. Take to the road as nomads. Put some
space between you and The It and relax for a bit. <br />
The average walking speed of an adult is 3.1 mph. The It seemed to move slower than that, but
that's what I'll use for my calculations.
Let's assume that the average speed in a car is 60 mph (I don't know if
this is correct, but they'll be driving an older car, and this will help
account for stops for food/bathroom, as well as highway construction). This plan revolves around just taking off for
a while. The goal is to put as much
distance between you and The It as you can, while still being responsible for
your own mode of transportation. No getting
stuck on planes or boats or anything.
Everything is within your power this way.<br />
I looked at some cities far from Detroit and saw how much time you could
buy. I didn't dig too in-depth, but I
did look at a few.<br />
I always loved Colorado, so my first stop was Denver. Denver is 1,269 miles from Detroit. Driving straight through, it would take 0.88
days, while walking would take 17.05 days.
So you could kick back in Denver for roughly 2 weeks before having to
skip town.<br />
What about something a bit more remote? Carson City, Nevada looks really nice, and
it's a town of only 55,000 people. Why
is this important? The fewer people in a
town, the less chance there is of The It blending in. You could buy yourself 28 days in Carson City
before The It came calling.<br />
Let's go further west. I've never been
to California, but it looks lovely.
Carmel-by-the-Sea looks like an incredible city. More importantly, the population is less than
4,000 people and you could buy yourself 31.85 days. That's my pick. Live in Carmel for a month.<br />
There's a downside to this one, and it's obvious: money. So much money. You're essentially homeless for a month. Maybe you could work out some kind of
employment deal in Carmel. "I'll
work for an entire month, but then I'll be taking a month off." That seems unlikely, and you're still paying
for quite a bit of gas every month (rough estimates put that cost around $250 a
month), as well as the constant threat of old rust bucket falling apart during
one of your monthly excursions.<br />
So, really, unless you have a ton of money, this isn't really feasible. But it sure is a nice thought.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw8UzoWo8AMRnUV7m9ceu3dCLsrQMLQDkMYjt3sBMLmqB73GEd_TvzpeMdSHKq6G5w-wEqziWPrT879a8Ap7O9pk8q0_ybWexVMORDHgjid2iRlFX5UEoHiflvXmxpnVxwM0ffQiqRiuM/s1600/It+Follows+-+Pool.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw8UzoWo8AMRnUV7m9ceu3dCLsrQMLQDkMYjt3sBMLmqB73GEd_TvzpeMdSHKq6G5w-wEqziWPrT879a8Ap7O9pk8q0_ybWexVMORDHgjid2iRlFX5UEoHiflvXmxpnVxwM0ffQiqRiuM/s1600/It+Follows+-+Pool.jpg" height="170" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">California dreamin'</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">For Paul? I think option 1 is the way to
go. Sure, the knowledge that you will
likely have killed numerous people will be on your conscience, but Paul has
already determined that he's willing to make that call.<br />
So, while option 2 is more noble, option 1 is slightly more permanent and much
more manageable in terms of cost. If The
It is after you, you'll have to determine what you can afford and what your
conscience can carry.<br />
<br />
Do you have other ideas for how to survive?
Leave them in the comments.<br />
<br />
While we're here in the spoiler zone...<br />
I've read some people talking about how they didn't like the ending. The more I think about it, the more I loved
it, and the more I believe it's the only way they could have ended it. The idea that you'll always have to look over
your shoulder is a terrifying one. Sure,
Paul passed on the disease, but it could still come for him and Jay at any
moment. Is that person walking behind
you The It, or just a harmless neighbor?
You'll never know, and you'll always be wondering. That's how they live their life now: in
constant fear. Even a nice walk down the
street could end in your demise. It
makes the mundane a source of constant terror.
Even though the movie had ended, their horror did not. True horror is not in eluding the killer, but
the knowledge that he could pop back up at any time. Every moment in your life is plagued by this
thought that something is after you.
That something is around the next corner. If you become complacent, you die. If you focus on it too much, it will consume
you (like Laurie Strode in <i>H20</i>). That’s the feeling the ending conveyed to me,
and one of the main reasons I can’t stop thinking about this film.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />Also, while I love the idea of Paul and Jay sharing this curse, I can't help but wondering how their relationship will hold up. Jay never seemed completely into it. Will she find herself feeling trapped in a loveless relationship merely because of this common experience? "He can help keep me safe, so I guess I'll stay with him." How long will that last? A year? Less? At some point, bitterness will start to creep in and this It will threaten to tear them apart without ever being present.<br />To be clear, I don't want to see this movie. I don't want a sequel that deals with their relationship issues. But these characters felt so real, so I can't help but wondering what would happen to them after the credits rolled. <br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-42201199760927487832015-04-03T17:14:00.003-04:002015-04-03T17:14:34.370-04:00It Follows<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBWGYJTdOTCE2dbr4fe6eVniZY3N7OOOc6ExgftKJNJUh0r65RdvQWwW7Cl6b69HdFEJGdKAzT2GZpYGY-H6lBOT58yQwAv8wDtZIgkijmLkWxugjI7N0YM7CcDuyVrWOpfoA2iz09-7U/s1600/It+Follows+-+Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBWGYJTdOTCE2dbr4fe6eVniZY3N7OOOc6ExgftKJNJUh0r65RdvQWwW7Cl6b69HdFEJGdKAzT2GZpYGY-H6lBOT58yQwAv8wDtZIgkijmLkWxugjI7N0YM7CcDuyVrWOpfoA2iz09-7U/s1600/It+Follows+-+Poster.jpg" height="400" width="280" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I'm
having a hard time organizing my thoughts for this movie, so I'm going to give
you a mish-mash of unconnected thoughts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">- It’s
hard to ignore the obvious <i>Halloween</i>
references throughout the film. All the
wide shots from a steadicam. The calm, tree-lined
suburban streets with more than a hint of evil lurking. The pulsing synth. The fact that the supernatural killer is
referred to as “The It” in interviews, which is pretty close to “The
Shape”. I kept waiting for Michael Myers
to pop out from behind a row of shrubs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnEQ_8_ZeMf0Ab2blfDARsMgEHcO39fFEA7nsTA2gfCuPc5rDf850XFNGh2O2XQM1lExw8JO3GR8zcikw8maDQqDT8JcTElX7rQPYvGbOpg8BuXeij_gwcWAepF8jQCLZtyqmJ7Ln33gY/s1600/It_Follows_Opening.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnEQ_8_ZeMf0Ab2blfDARsMgEHcO39fFEA7nsTA2gfCuPc5rDf850XFNGh2O2XQM1lExw8JO3GR8zcikw8maDQqDT8JcTElX7rQPYvGbOpg8BuXeij_gwcWAepF8jQCLZtyqmJ7Ln33gY/s1600/It_Follows_Opening.gif" height="179" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">-
With all the style – all the window dressing – it would be easy to miss the
fact that this, at its heart, a slasher movie.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">There is an unstoppable force heading right towards you at a slow
pace.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">It never runs.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">It never wavers.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">If it is shot, it falls down, gets back up
and keeps coming.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Jay is our final
girl.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Unlike the stereotypical final
girl, she has had sex.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">But, like the
stereotypical final girl, she has the attention of the killer and does what she
has to in order to survive.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The plot of
the movie is summed up in the title: </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">It
Follows</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">And, like our favorite
killers, it never stops.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC8jB8SswfQpwf4IXZ-GVDYI3JexJDSSZ9XS8pZrOj288ViqHh2Qslh7vy9UDazTbxhw6mDg-2uXAhG9Wl6JKPazc-4VAuRB7Srpk73qLMim9KBYMxzDl2GUW6XseCnWXha5rIlfHG8fQ/s1600/It+Follows+-+School+Hallway.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC8jB8SswfQpwf4IXZ-GVDYI3JexJDSSZ9XS8pZrOj288ViqHh2Qslh7vy9UDazTbxhw6mDg-2uXAhG9Wl6JKPazc-4VAuRB7Srpk73qLMim9KBYMxzDl2GUW6XseCnWXha5rIlfHG8fQ/s1600/It+Follows+-+School+Hallway.jpg" height="257" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">-
I’ve heard a lot of talk about the unnecessary nudity in this. It’s true that there is a decent helping of
nudity in this, but I would not call it unnecessary. None of the nudity is alluring. It is all courtesy of The It, and it is all
ugly. It is all uncomfortable. The It is, in essence, an STD, and it chooses
(at times) to manifest itself in forms of twisted and ugly sexuality.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">-
I love the slasher aspect to this. I
also love the fact that it is always walking.
There’s never a fear that it’s going to be hiding in the closet, waiting
to pop out at you. It doesn’t try to
hide. There is no fear that it will
suddenly be in hiding in the backseat of your car. It doesn't work that way. It doesn’t sneak around. It just keeps coming. Like a slasher or a zombie, it is relentless. You need to sleep. To rest.
To take a break. It doesn’t need
that. While you’re sitting still, it’s
getting closer. And there’s nothing you
can do about it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-jfoyBkxLre44Fh4Lm0ay2xVGzzVR07plSAXAbsJSX7jiAAMpN3VygtU25DfAi561Pv-tGHUxauzQnHwHadKwWYsOmb7hbj7JwMUg9f1Gks3ylCGwQg8zWUoFVAR0cqs8c2B3AjzlDSA/s1600/It+Follows+-+Home+Pool.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-jfoyBkxLre44Fh4Lm0ay2xVGzzVR07plSAXAbsJSX7jiAAMpN3VygtU25DfAi561Pv-tGHUxauzQnHwHadKwWYsOmb7hbj7JwMUg9f1Gks3ylCGwQg8zWUoFVAR0cqs8c2B3AjzlDSA/s1600/It+Follows+-+Home+Pool.jpg" height="175" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">- I
like to think that they cast the actor who played Greg because he kind of
looked like Johnny Depp, and they wanted a nod to </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Nightmare on Elm Street</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8MThm3bS2QvlEUlBR6p5rctxTpVhNsuIhM-Wrtwy-CNkWnhyphenhyphenesgPNTutCoORdjeZUmQIz3FlKF2X07WN-fZb2X6M3tqBOo4Oj2cTlUaqQyGUAIUT0qhg4xKGL6v6MjpzF1keI9Yq0Okk/s1600/It+Follows+-+Field.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8MThm3bS2QvlEUlBR6p5rctxTpVhNsuIhM-Wrtwy-CNkWnhyphenhyphenesgPNTutCoORdjeZUmQIz3FlKF2X07WN-fZb2X6M3tqBOo4Oj2cTlUaqQyGUAIUT0qhg4xKGL6v6MjpzF1keI9Yq0Okk/s1600/It+Follows+-+Field.jpg" height="175" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">-
I mentioned the soundtrack earlier, but I'd like to bring it up again
here. It was composed/performed by
electronic artist Disasterpeace, and it sets a perfect tone. It goes from minimal and creepy synth tones
to full-blown noise explosions. He draws
a lot of comparisons to Carpenter's scores here (I have to believe a lot of
that was at the behest of the director), but he is able to put his own spin on
it. I am currently listening to
this. It is storming outside and my back
is to an open door. I am looking over my
shoulder every 30 seconds or so, just making sure The It isn't creeping ever
closer.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi67vJnqW92y9qkG6OOw47Gf-Z3i_E-gsOMOcICmB71yT-0Pqm6w4IaUzHRH4_eaHByH73eb1vk42gyskf7QwfvX1l7SKADZ7YGfa3guy1nyWBqSBrroaxYGiOeP0HNzHhZHO8dszdZs2g/s1600/It+Follows+-+Parking+Garage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi67vJnqW92y9qkG6OOw47Gf-Z3i_E-gsOMOcICmB71yT-0Pqm6w4IaUzHRH4_eaHByH73eb1vk42gyskf7QwfvX1l7SKADZ7YGfa3guy1nyWBqSBrroaxYGiOeP0HNzHhZHO8dszdZs2g/s1600/It+Follows+-+Parking+Garage.jpg" height="170" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
- It was interesting how differently this thing was dealt with. Hugh/Jeff (although I thought he looked more
like a Ricky/Wesley) had sex with Jay and took off. His thought process was solid, if a bit cold:
if The It kills the person it is tracking, it will then go after the previous
infected person. (An added note: only
those infected at some point can see The It.
So, if you haven't been infected, you will just watch your friend freak
out, but you won't actually see anything.)
If he passed on The It to Jay and stuck around only to watch her die, he
would be next on the list, and The It would have a very short trip to kill
him. For Hugh, the disease was one of
isolation.<br />
Jay and her friends took it another way.
They looked out for her, whether they actually knew what they were
looking for or not. A couple of them
offered to have sex with her, in part because they were horny teenagers, but in
part because they really did care about Jay.
For them, the disease brought them together. I found it interesting the different ways
these groups dealt with this killer stalking one of them. I'm pretty sure it's some kind of "glass
half full or half empty" thing, but with a disturbingly naked and placid
killer slowly creeping closer to you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyg9FdyVffdVoNhRDRFznci0DKUr_ZUwY_KOF3pRMzIiKA7mk7M6UnqzmwaEVwn0QpcSWHNveXj4kRfrNVAXUWLv66IHtIcTaVp3K7CdCPBTxTQxkj8_vrfbgJjwpPQO6jMxvbKnfwqUQ/s1600/It+Follows+-+House.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyg9FdyVffdVoNhRDRFznci0DKUr_ZUwY_KOF3pRMzIiKA7mk7M6UnqzmwaEVwn0QpcSWHNveXj4kRfrNVAXUWLv66IHtIcTaVp3K7CdCPBTxTQxkj8_vrfbgJjwpPQO6jMxvbKnfwqUQ/s1600/It+Follows+-+House.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">
I want to get deeper into this, but I can't really do that without doing some
major spoilers, so I guess I'll refrain from doing that. The hype for this movie has grown pretty large,
but, just like <i>The Babadook</i>, I feel
this movie is able to avoid being a victim of its own hype. It's a terrific movie with a great style, a
huge nod to the past and a pretty good sense of humor. It's not quite the movie I thought it was
going to be, but I'm perfectly okay with that.<br />
<br />
Rating: 5/5</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-84600525836983530642015-03-25T20:39:00.000-04:002015-03-25T20:39:31.437-04:00The Walking Dead: A Letter to Deanna<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Hello
Deanna. I traveled with Rick’s group and
kind of hung out in the background. I
now live in a house on the edge of town.
Don’t remember me? I get that a
lot. I’m basically like Buddy in <i>Community</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">You
don't know me, and, really, I don't know you too well, either. I know you're a former congresswoman and once
dreamed of being a poker pro. "I'm
good at reading people," you said, and I believed you. I shouldn't have, but I did.<br />
<br />
Rick and his people have done some bad things.
You knew this. They told you as
much. Did you know they violently killed
a group of people in a church? That it
was basically a re-creation of the final scene in <i>Conquest of the Planet of the Apes</i>?
Did you know that Rick killed his best friend? That Carol burned two people alive and shot a
little girl in the back of the head? No,
of course you didn’t. You didn’t know
the specifics. You didn’t want to
know. The world is different outside the
walls. When you agreed to take them in,
you knew they were good people at heart, and that the group of them sticking
together and forming a loving family unit was difficult under such circumstances. That Rick must be a great leader, and, no
matter what he did, he did it for the good of his family. Right decisions sometimes masquerade as bad
ones, and it takes a great leader to know the difference.<br />
<br />
While they were out there fighting and killing and dying, you’ve been sitting
behind these walls, trying as hard as you can to stay blissfully ignorant of
the horrors on the other side. People
left the confines of your idyllic community for supply runs, but you hadn’t
really taken in anyone who had survived in the wild for years. You didn’t see what they saw. You didn’t know what they had to do. Even good people can’t be good on the other
side. The nice ones – the immediately
trusting ones – have long since died out.
Likely eaten by the not-so-nice people.
Surely you’ve seen <i>Mad Max</i>
before this all went south? You know
what even a good man must do to survive out there.<br />
<br />
Still, you said you were good at reading people. Did you bring this group in just to turn on
them at the first sign of savagery? Do
you trust Father Gabriel? That dude
killed his own congregation by locking them outside the church. He has burned his collar and ripped pages out
of a Bible, and then he comes ranting to you about how Rick and his group are
Satan. Tell me poker pro, do you trust
that man? Can you read him?<br />
Can you read him like you read Nicholas?
The coward who caused the death of Noah?
Poor, sheltered Noah (who somehow learned how to use a gun in the short
time he lived in Alexandria). His face
is in pieces because of Nicholas. Do you
trust him? Do you get a better read off
of him than you do from Glenn? Either
Nicholas is the best actor in the world or your career in the world of poker would
have lasted a grand total of 5 minutes.<br />
<br />
Finally, let’s talk about Pete. I have
some questions:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">1.
Why is chocolate kept under lock and key, while Pete somehow has unlimited
access to alcohol? Does he have a
basement full of it? Does he brew his
own? Are there prohibition tunnels under
Alexandria?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">2. What’s the point
of keeping a surgeon in the town if he’s drunk all the time? Like, <i>all
the time</i>. Who feels comfortable with
that arrangement? “Tara has a terrible
head wound that the surgeon must check out.
I guess we’ll leave her in the shaky and drunken hands of abusive
Pete. Surely nothing bad will happen.” Having a surgeon who is drunk all the time is
worse than having no surgeon at all.<br />
<br />
Perhaps Rick’s suggestion of killing him sounded a bit extreme, but what’s the
alternative? You suggested exile, but I’m
with Rick on this. Maybe he’ll die out
there, in which case a death sentence is no different. Or maybe he’ll find some others (say, the
people who are carving Ws onto the heads of zombies), group them together and
take down your little town. Outside of a
single sniper, you have no other defenses.
A well-organized group that knows the town’s weaknesses could overtake
Alexandria with minimal casualties. <br />
Rick is there to provide a perspective that is different from the people who
have lived in Alexandria for years.
Granted, it’s kind of tough to take the advice of a man who waves guns
at people in the street while being covered in the blood of his neighbor, but
just because his methods are questionable doesn’t mean his logic is.<br />
(By the way, do you know what the Pete solution should be? Cut off his supply of alcohol and put him in
a house by himself. Is he still
abusive? If yes, kill him. If no, then you have a non-drunk surgeon
living in the town.)<br />
<br />
I can only imagine how hard losing a son must be, but, for the sake of your
community, you need to keep a level head.
Danger is right around the corner.
You can’t pretend that everything is fine, because it’s not. If there’s one thing in this new world you
need to learn, it’s this: if you have something nice, there is always someone
who is going to want to take it from you.
You think Rick is bad? Wait until
you see what happens next. You’ll be
turning to Rick for guidance quicker than you know. This time, listen to him. He might be insane sometimes, but he
understands how to survive beyond the walls better than you could ever hope
to. Just ask all the people with him. <br />
<br />
Sincerely, <br />
Dusty</span>
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-59667448017023684912015-02-27T14:02:00.000-05:002015-02-27T14:23:57.664-05:00Transmissions from ScareFest 7<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Most of these words are true.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">On
September 13, 2014, I attended ScareFest, a horror & paranormal convention held in Lexington, KY. This is the 7th year of its existence. I happen to live in Lexington, KY, and I have no excuses for missing the
previous 6. Before <a href="http://clubzombie.blogspot.com/2015/01/transmissions-from-wizard-world-comic.html" target="_blank">my Wizard World experience</a>, I had never been to a convention.
I attribute my attendance to ScareFest this year to the great time I had
at Wizard World. Still, it's ridiculous
that this convention takes place in my town and I had never been. I have brought shame upon my family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Unlike
Wizard World, I would be flying solo. So
I got up, threw on my <a href="http://society6.com/product/zombie-vs-shark_t-shirt#11=49&4=75" target="_blank">Zombie Fights Shark t-shirt</a> (seemed festive), and made
the 10 minute drive to Rupp Arena. Home
to the Cats, and, on this weekend, home to the ghouls.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
parked a few blocks away and walked. On
my way through the parking lot, I passed many cars with bumper stickers. The Misfits.
Necronomicon. Michael Myers. Jason Voorhees. Zombies.
I looked around and smiled, knowing I was about to be among my
people. By the end of the day, I would
be adding a new bumper sticker to my car, signaling to the others that I
belonged.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihRqgEwIi37B71WwqGfhUF-ymQNZGw-pV0frs4p4jxLUqk9RX0PtVTxQgfggwCe_JD8fbpc1vKsO0iOZ7r3rz8QEbI3WJ5e7dli31RfAfvjJ0lk49l1-a5EwkDwAAWRYPzL_aIKf94UMw/s1600/Ash+Bumper+Sticker.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihRqgEwIi37B71WwqGfhUF-ymQNZGw-pV0frs4p4jxLUqk9RX0PtVTxQgfggwCe_JD8fbpc1vKsO0iOZ7r3rz8QEbI3WJ5e7dli31RfAfvjJ0lk49l1-a5EwkDwAAWRYPzL_aIKf94UMw/s1600/Ash+Bumper+Sticker.jpg" height="400" width="192" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Hail to the '01 Chevy Prizm, baby.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">It
wasn’t hard to find the entrance: all I had to do was follow the screams. I found myself traveling in a group of people
dressed as various characters from </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The
Walking Dead</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">. “Those screams aren’t
real, right?” I wondered aloud. None of
them looked up at me. They just put
their heads down and shuffled forwards.
If I were to die, I would do it with characters from a show I
sorta-kinda like sometimes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Jason
Aldean and Florida Georgia Line were playing a concert at Rupp Arena later that
evening, which gave the crowd a bit of a weird mix. I saw people dressed as monsters, bloody
clowns and zombies walking among people wearing cowboy hats, boots and tight
jeans. The Grim Reaper made small talk
with John Wayne while waiting in line for food.
It was strange and beautiful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
never did discover the source of the screams, but I found the ticket window,
grabbed my wristband and headed through the doors. A skeleton stared at me from above as I
walked underneath. I thought it kind of
looked like me, though that could have just been my brain playing tricks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNRSARg6VNWz53PQ9fCcLo_l6AMfeGT6Yr8ywSGePVtb2XSSGS8Umh47hju_EYDieDPZ6MvWo8yaQe1dgkFvL4BlEISr5R94IMtKGVVeN4N5NsETjf4Uc1FI5g4MQJL9QIcrpLkyBks8c/s1600/IMG_2452.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNRSARg6VNWz53PQ9fCcLo_l6AMfeGT6Yr8ywSGePVtb2XSSGS8Umh47hju_EYDieDPZ6MvWo8yaQe1dgkFvL4BlEISr5R94IMtKGVVeN4N5NsETjf4Uc1FI5g4MQJL9QIcrpLkyBks8c/s1600/IMG_2452.JPG" height="141" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
stepped inside the doors to find a young child being attacked by Freddy Krueger
and Jason Voorhees, while Billy the Puppet sat on his tricycle grinning like an
idiot. I thought about stepping in, but
I’m only one man. That kid lived enough
of his life to enjoy it, but not long enough to be cynical. I hope you find comfort in the next life,
young man.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</div>
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</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheaSuBYjTOchHWDkE8YnzmuGQvs9Kxt_dxRMzQ8C3W8wRMEJUnJLYliBKeiiPCqig2Ah0YB6tWlblvMqR-WIwpcgC4A7pQxRHvKZVOf0wMb6uVUP9IQ68M_dyjk9FJvY1YQnMJlj6YwVo/s1600/IMG_2411.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheaSuBYjTOchHWDkE8YnzmuGQvs9Kxt_dxRMzQ8C3W8wRMEJUnJLYliBKeiiPCqig2Ah0YB6tWlblvMqR-WIwpcgC4A7pQxRHvKZVOf0wMb6uVUP9IQ68M_dyjk9FJvY1YQnMJlj6YwVo/s1600/IMG_2411.JPG" height="400" width="358" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">As
it turns out, I could probably find him in the next life, as the next thing I
saw was a sign for the Ghost Hunter Shop.
Books. Vests. Smudge sticks. If you’re looking for ghost hunting supplies,
they had it there. The Ghost Hunter shop
is owned by Patti Starr, who puts on ScareFest every year. They have a <a href="http://www.ghosthuntershop.com/" target="_blank">website</a> as well as a physical location here in Lexington.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3FXx0dxi-1dW2RkDv-BQD8-Rx63sGbrSdU6j7DkNsPcSgnNj1amwxKeGSrJ8wtxbwqNvVNcCCdm2MNtisMXfDnOf6auVfcAmEKwPvHC80dOfCalTEgxichwCuQYR0GYC-5SNNY9SHQH0/s1600/IMG_2438.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3FXx0dxi-1dW2RkDv-BQD8-Rx63sGbrSdU6j7DkNsPcSgnNj1amwxKeGSrJ8wtxbwqNvVNcCCdm2MNtisMXfDnOf6auVfcAmEKwPvHC80dOfCalTEgxichwCuQYR0GYC-5SNNY9SHQH0/s1600/IMG_2438.JPG" height="181" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
poked around in the shop a little, but I had no haunting in my own home and had
neither the time nor energy to hunt for them elsewhere, so I shoved off to the
main floor. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Ah,
the main floor. What joys would I find
there? Would I find something to love
immediately, or would I have to wait a while?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I
would find something immediately. Just Betelgeuse
and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man hanging out together. I tried to get up close enough to hear what
they were talking about, but I’m not good at sneaking. I also couldn’t stop singing, “Tale as old as
tiiiiiiiime.” </span></div>
</div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
thought ol’ Puffy would be taller, but I had only seen him on TV. All celebrities are shorter in person. Apparently Stay Puft and Keifer Sutherland
are the same size.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I
found out early that security would not back down from anyone.</span></div>
</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuS1Ua6GMeat4FP_29t2mvwqB1Aebi5VKq5m9NOoWggX1ez2auUulPgdchCPj8QkteIMrlQo0mLQ_sPDrqpHOMRZDUnR_jUtE0UlD6gdbBpC7GGIv8IwjuQYEo0sgIiOZxXembWxKJHs4/s1600/IMG_2417.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuS1Ua6GMeat4FP_29t2mvwqB1Aebi5VKq5m9NOoWggX1ez2auUulPgdchCPj8QkteIMrlQo0mLQ_sPDrqpHOMRZDUnR_jUtE0UlD6gdbBpC7GGIv8IwjuQYEo0sgIiOZxXembWxKJHs4/s1600/IMG_2417.JPG" height="400" width="312" /></a></div>
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</div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I
happened upon Michael Myers. I don’t
even think it was someone dressed as Myers: I believe that this was the real
Michael Myers. I followed him around for
a while, observing his movements. He
never spoke a word. He walked around the
floor, looking around him. I can only
assume he was looking for a gaggle of babysitters. While he was stalking them, I was stalking
him. Eventually I walked up to him.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
Me: Can I get a picture with you?<br />
MM: [Nods head]<br />
Me: So, you just don’t talk then?<br />
MM: [Shakes head]<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Me:
<i>Halloween: Resurrection</i> was really
terrible, huh?<br />
MM: [Nods head violently]<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Me:
You…uh…you going to kill anyone here?<br />
MM: [Dead silence]<br />
Me: Alright man. I’ll catch up with you
later.<br />
<br />
I saw him after that from time to time.
Still walking the floor. Still
not talking. Occasionally he would stop
for pictures with people, but he never spoke a word. I saw a woman walk up to him and ask, “Can I
get a picture with you, sweet pea?” It
killed me that someone referred to Michael Myers as “sweet pea”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My
encounter with Michael Myers spooked me a little, but it didn’t last long. I looked to my left and saw the table for the
Western Kentucky Ghostbusters. I tried
to calmly walk over, but I’m pretty sure I ended up awkwardly jogging.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Hey. Are those proton packs?”<br />
“Yes. For $1 you can wear one and stand
next to Vigo the Carpathian.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You
mean Vigo the Butch?”<br />
I giggled and threw some money in the pot, and was then armed with my very own
proton pack. As I waited for the people
in front of me to finish with their pictures, I kept repeating to myself, “Bite
your head off, man. Bite your head off,
man.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It
was finally my turn. I walked up,
powered on my proton pack and said, “Only a Carpathian would come back to life
now and choose Lexington, KY,” then muttered a few lines about Carpathian
Kitten Loss.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
tried to look tough, but instead just came off as looking vaguely indifferent,
and quite possibly like I’m a little sick.
I think I looked quite dashing in that proton pack.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
walked off and came across two very pale people pushing a stroller. “Oh, lemme see the cute little baby. Who’s the cute baby? Is it you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM4tXKoxhkxwdmxE07Fyaoa8sk6bl283reIgB9vNKVkEeAbruGhZBVkRXBlNZ0hxxp6Zy5P5EoPX0QKV5qvlLJd3aVUG12aaCyLsQGNDgrzY51yd6PulPJ309gWO8K0GjCDWEQGEaZCDg/s1600/IMG_2421.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM4tXKoxhkxwdmxE07Fyaoa8sk6bl283reIgB9vNKVkEeAbruGhZBVkRXBlNZ0hxxp6Zy5P5EoPX0QKV5qvlLJd3aVUG12aaCyLsQGNDgrzY51yd6PulPJ309gWO8K0GjCDWEQGEaZCDg/s1600/IMG_2421.JPG" height="400" width="356" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>GAAAAAAAAH!</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">While
I was still trying to rub the evil out of my eyes, I felt someone push me in
the back. Before I could execute a
super-sweet roundhouse kick, he was past me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXvoiTFcerVBounPEMmJK7_hgUIl0TObTNyvwvRtzCcATKeYQKMEKfUbXZSr5i06UIy-_O5jEbfIzFeP_TdaH-Q2L_NvS-AodGcHo5PMcYu6LvCCqlTV8Zg6OH9MQAITAvSUAu5bByBEw/s1600/IMG_2429.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXvoiTFcerVBounPEMmJK7_hgUIl0TObTNyvwvRtzCcATKeYQKMEKfUbXZSr5i06UIy-_O5jEbfIzFeP_TdaH-Q2L_NvS-AodGcHo5PMcYu6LvCCqlTV8Zg6OH9MQAITAvSUAu5bByBEw/s1600/IMG_2429.JPG" height="400" width="206" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It
was Sean Astin, traveling with a security guard. “Gotta get back to my table. Mr. Frodo needs me,” I heard him say softly
to himself.<br />
“I kind of thought you’d be talking about D-Bob.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“What?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Nothing,
Mr. Austin. Go tell them about how you
hope they won’t be able to get their balls out.
Give ‘em hell, sir. <i>Goonies</i> never say ah he’s gone.”<br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">A
voice came over the speakers. “Cary
Elwes is back at his booth, so if you want his autograph, it’s as you
wish.” I cackled loudly. I looked around for anyone to share my laugh
with, but all I could find was this guy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtUj_lonnt1FwjIhaqtcMOn2LJ2aHfujVbAvw_lYktxdpE6fOQr48kPtDi63g9apUzXtoWLJ0AfjQ3j4jU4LVKjyXGpSwR4v9YrkrupT3hRpQjGpgbKfX8ZR1TY4KTH81GxsAOWKbS5HM/s1600/IMG_2426.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtUj_lonnt1FwjIhaqtcMOn2LJ2aHfujVbAvw_lYktxdpE6fOQr48kPtDi63g9apUzXtoWLJ0AfjQ3j4jU4LVKjyXGpSwR4v9YrkrupT3hRpQjGpgbKfX8ZR1TY4KTH81GxsAOWKbS5HM/s1600/IMG_2426.JPG" height="400" width="388" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">He
didn’t find it funny, but I doubt he really found anything funny. The blood of the innocent, maybe?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
saw Dick Warlock – legendary stunt man, and Michael Myers in the stellar <i>Halloween II</i> – wandering around his
booth while wearing a terrific jacket.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpQ6EMrwwUwgOTJR8zIJ-4oXDcvWWIY_YpYxM5jSimNM3JH1ddp_Gy2its7IDT8CcRXYs9Hfc2dfCWcIkoEfSKo6cO0H8FrgrwJ5V9YiNHZQ5r2pHBgm5OGkoWoFRGJJXn1VuIkTQJSgo/s1600/IMG_2427.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpQ6EMrwwUwgOTJR8zIJ-4oXDcvWWIY_YpYxM5jSimNM3JH1ddp_Gy2its7IDT8CcRXYs9Hfc2dfCWcIkoEfSKo6cO0H8FrgrwJ5V9YiNHZQ5r2pHBgm5OGkoWoFRGJJXn1VuIkTQJSgo/s1600/IMG_2427.JPG" height="400" width="233" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
thought about trying to steal it, but I figured he would snap my arm in 6
places without breaking a sweat. I
backed away slowly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
swore to myself that I wasn’t going to pay money to meet any of the celebrities
today. Sure, there were people I loved,
but I didn’t feel like waiting in line and spending a bunch of money just to
have an awkward interaction with someone I’d never see again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">But
then, as I was walking along the back, I spotted Caroline Williams, most famous
for playing Vanita “Stretch” Brock from <i>Texas
Chainsaw Massacre II</i>. There she was,
standing in her booth all alone. I had
no choice, really. I had to say hi.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjefjEJScrLHIAM93abNrrQlECAIvBvn1vt24UqOcxNOuHR7KtmpZqq_Z3WGDB18NlQtKJMmvzSt0NpMo32PBlhV7x1AARBRdlSxRegtV-bNpeIfIh_TnLfO8bn19JdVizx6odUe_BpEaM/s1600/IMG_2432.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjefjEJScrLHIAM93abNrrQlECAIvBvn1vt24UqOcxNOuHR7KtmpZqq_Z3WGDB18NlQtKJMmvzSt0NpMo32PBlhV7x1AARBRdlSxRegtV-bNpeIfIh_TnLfO8bn19JdVizx6odUe_BpEaM/s1600/IMG_2432.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
walked up and chatted with her for a while.
She struck me as a genuinely sweet and caring woman. I got my picture taken with her and walked
off. I’ve always been a fan of her work,
and I’m an even bigger fan of her now. I
now have an autographed picture of Caroline hanging out with Tobe Hooper, Tom
Savini and Nubbins hanging up in my home office. It makes me smile every time I look at it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
made new friends (who would gladly kill me at a moment's notice).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnmodh4PKbjRfSLtze6Tw48X17WLrZbhRE9UKZQjpVm5OH_L9NjcWyCCxrSyWg4DKcY5-Q-mS5DaMpZwZhG1Ry7_VW6TXeF-_AgkIKHnRPkxzt7QDaMJQIdhv6TvW-REXkbLKIYSTvo6M/s1600/IMG_2435.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnmodh4PKbjRfSLtze6Tw48X17WLrZbhRE9UKZQjpVm5OH_L9NjcWyCCxrSyWg4DKcY5-Q-mS5DaMpZwZhG1Ry7_VW6TXeF-_AgkIKHnRPkxzt7QDaMJQIdhv6TvW-REXkbLKIYSTvo6M/s1600/IMG_2435.JPG" height="400" width="282" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I
found Salvatore blood. </span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvInL7ZXua6qQcy5eK9h-_zIacxl2VHhoU5vKoE23MxcCh5UMAgb-9u3m_n5Ikw3jBVa-wgGyjpdl5R9IoyFJ5ULb9hDY9jLSW8lS2sflJSekKY64ehtXBykjrezTnBEgPGxracGmJHiE/s1600/IMG_2436.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvInL7ZXua6qQcy5eK9h-_zIacxl2VHhoU5vKoE23MxcCh5UMAgb-9u3m_n5Ikw3jBVa-wgGyjpdl5R9IoyFJ5ULb9hDY9jLSW8lS2sflJSekKY64ehtXBykjrezTnBEgPGxracGmJHiE/s1600/IMG_2436.JPG" height="400" width="337" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">How
much do you think Salvatore blood goes for these days? More than I thought it would. Sure, it promises immortality, but there's a
decent change you'll turn into some version of The Ripper. Or, at the very least, have someone
screaming, "FLIP YOUR HUMANITY SWITCH," at you when you're trying to
go to sleep. It's my switch, buddy. I'll flip it when I want to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
found the disembodied head of Bughuul.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO1J4T_jFyRkfHLy-kiCfVebNn7OuR_tzNvJDnJQQnxy7kOF8ocess7nA8DLl8EUEi2bys2pyjfy8I6L393b_jLOFbkQuBq7yXIhQW8o0iLVFT7a0-9fF6ruD0eUB9bnxTN0hC8ZeGLVs/s1600/IMG_2437.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO1J4T_jFyRkfHLy-kiCfVebNn7OuR_tzNvJDnJQQnxy7kOF8ocess7nA8DLl8EUEi2bys2pyjfy8I6L393b_jLOFbkQuBq7yXIhQW8o0iLVFT7a0-9fF6ruD0eUB9bnxTN0hC8ZeGLVs/s1600/IMG_2437.JPG" height="400" width="397" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
saw someone getting a picture with Nick King, the guy who played Bughuul. "Do you want me to hold the mask?"
he asked the person? No. I just want to take a picture with the guy
who played Bughuul but have the mask nowhere in sight. I'll look back in a few months and think,
"Who was this guy?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
saw Universal Monsters rising from the ground...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">...and
others trying to end their miserable existence. </span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It's
not your fault you have an abnormal brain, buddy. I'm sure you still have something to live
for. What about that girl you've been
talking about? The one with the cool
hair? Maybe try giving her a call. I think you can build a life together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
stopped to take a picture of an odd spectacle, only to have a fella in a Jayne
hat come up afterwards and basically demand money for taking the picture.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Jayne
don't mess with mudders.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
spotted a stormtrooper and Sam, just hanging out<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijXqHgmjOV1d-KzG7bxCfJRm6NZrONUbrv9K_IProj9akJ3UhH0ACM_msELaiQ5nzr88WccoJX4n2BHKiycKYCry-WZedHBegZMCF40Jz-oqD6Uu4pt5rT5MSEmhL1cmrbzbW3pqRkvZU/s1600/IMG_2447.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijXqHgmjOV1d-KzG7bxCfJRm6NZrONUbrv9K_IProj9akJ3UhH0ACM_msELaiQ5nzr88WccoJX4n2BHKiycKYCry-WZedHBegZMCF40Jz-oqD6Uu4pt5rT5MSEmhL1cmrbzbW3pqRkvZU/s1600/IMG_2447.JPG" height="400" width="240" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
wanted to get in closer to hear what they were talking about, but Sam tightened
his grip on his lollipop. I quickly
turned and walked in the opposite direction.
I put a Jack-o’-lantern outside my house on Halloween. I have no quarrel with you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">When
I turned the corner, I ran into this:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgheWHEsTG5cq6ZQAwGePmJUKrrfmVxzHI0mPJPaQzW2zJ59PJl6eGpRl9-yo28wxZ5Ipxn2owWQ-vOhkotwXB2ce17Va-s4z0as3YoOZ91zBPe30m8Apy_adtz9IPE4ULD6Jea49QDmyQ/s1600/IMG_2416.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgheWHEsTG5cq6ZQAwGePmJUKrrfmVxzHI0mPJPaQzW2zJ59PJl6eGpRl9-yo28wxZ5Ipxn2owWQ-vOhkotwXB2ce17Va-s4z0as3YoOZ91zBPe30m8Apy_adtz9IPE4ULD6Jea49QDmyQ/s1600/IMG_2416.JPG" height="236" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Hey
Scoob! SCOOB! Here's a mystery for ya. Why did 6 hate 7? Huh? Hahahahahahahaha! Try running around robbing banks all wacked
off of…hey…I was having a conversation here, officer. About what?
Well, that’s between me and my friend here. Where are you taking me? What is…is that a chloroform rag? You’re not a real cop, are you? AIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
rest of the day was a haze. I’m pretty
sure I saw Corey Feldman walking around with a scantily clad angel, but I could
be mistaken. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3FJQd1mdxoUSUnfm9m9uzmTfqc8p8yCKIrYV4du-eu7jEtdwBoO6x8JjyrJKyZFuzDnoPT5dI0anGRvMU_qHOBgw69pQd5XCzLc8wlG5pIyPfswpyctL3IOidBq4gUKd_lxGR9SQm44U/s1600/IMG_2453.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3FJQd1mdxoUSUnfm9m9uzmTfqc8p8yCKIrYV4du-eu7jEtdwBoO6x8JjyrJKyZFuzDnoPT5dI0anGRvMU_qHOBgw69pQd5XCzLc8wlG5pIyPfswpyctL3IOidBq4gUKd_lxGR9SQm44U/s1600/IMG_2453.JPG" height="400" width="293" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
all I know, I’m still there, somewhere in the halls of ScareFest. Maybe I’ll be there forever. I don’t
mind. There are worse ways to spend
eternity. I’ll see you all there next
year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-86133376104919278392015-01-30T14:56:00.001-05:002015-02-02T11:52:14.848-05:00Transmissions from Wizard World Comic ConOn March 29th, my wife, my younger brother and I hopped in my car and headed up to Louisville to attend Wizard World, our first ever comic convention. We had no idea what to expect, but we knew James Marsters and Kristine Sutherland (<i>Buffy the Vampire Slayer</i>) would be there, and that was enough for us.<br />What follows is what happened once we reached the hallowed grounds of the Kentucky International Convention Center. Most of these words are true.<br /><br />We got there and immediately hard a hard time figuring out where we should go. “It’s in this convention center, right? Why are these doors locked? I see people in there. That girl is dressed like Huntress, so I know we’re in the right place. Those doors locked, too? How do we get in this place? HUNTRESS! HUNTRESS! I know she can hear me. She looked over this way. Why isn’t she letting us in?”<br /><br />Eventually we found an unlocked door, and wound our way through a set of dark corridors. After walking through what appeared to be an airplane hangar, we got our wristbands and made our way to the floor.<br /><br />The first thing we saw was a grown man dressed up as Robin, complete with tight green panties. We all nodded and agreed that it seemed like a decent indicator of what we would find there. He would not be the last Robin we would see that day.<br /><br />Before heading into the fray, my wife took a look at the map. “It looks like the celebrities are set up in the back. Let’s swing by there and see what it looks like.” We decided to head up a side alley, so as to miss the mass of people in the middle. It was crowded, but not nearly as crowded as I thought it would be. We weren’t packed in shoulder-to-shoulder. We could move relatively freely for most of the day. That was a pleasant surprise. It was hot, but that was to be expected. Just as well. I love sweating in large groups of people.<div>
<br /><div class="wp-caption aligncenter" id="attachment_1801" style="background: rgb(241, 241, 241); border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin: 0px auto 14px; max-width: 100%; padding: 5px 0px 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; width: 235px;">
<a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/IMG_1874.jpg" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; color: #3b8dbd; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="Pictured: Sweat" class="size-medium wp-image-1801" height="400" src="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/IMG_1874-225x300.jpg" style="-webkit-transition: opacity 0.2s ease; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; transition: opacity 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="border: 0px; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: italic; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; padding: 0px 0px 8px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Pictured: Sweat</div>
</div>
We made our way back to the signing booths. Most of <i>The Walking Dead</i> people weren’t there yet, but pretty much everyone else was. Jason Momoa’s line was long. Marsters’ line was fairly long, but not too bad. Kristine Sutherland had a few people in her line. (We loved that Marsters and Sutherland were right next to each other. During their downtime, I assume they talked about various slayer-related difficulties they encountered. “I hated when she came back and had a zombie party at the house.” “I hated when she beat me up.”)</div>
<div>
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<a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/IMG_1910.jpg" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; color: #3b8dbd; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="Voorhees is always lurking." class="size-medium wp-image-1811" height="400" src="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/IMG_1910-246x300.jpg" style="-webkit-transition: opacity 0.2s ease; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; transition: opacity 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" width="328" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="border: 0px; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: italic; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; padding: 0px 0px 8px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Voorhees is always lurking.</div>
</div>
We saw a man walking out of Marsters’ line looking at his camera, and we immediately accosted him. “How was he? Was he cool? Did you get a picture with him? Can we see it? How much extra for the picture? Did you have to get his autograph to get a picture with him? Oh man, that’s a cool picture. He’s doing his Spike face and everything. Thanks! Off with you.”<br /><br />A few Deadpools walked by. At least, I thought they were all Deadpools. As it turns out, it was two Deadpools and a Spider Man in a hoodie. I jumped up and down and asked for a picture with them.</div>
<div>
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<a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/IMG_1878.jpg" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; color: #3b8dbd; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="We major" class="size-medium wp-image-1803" height="300" src="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/IMG_1878-300x225.jpg" style="-webkit-transition: opacity 0.2s ease; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; transition: opacity 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" width="400" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="border: 0px; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: italic; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; padding: 0px 0px 8px; vertical-align: baseline;">
We major</div>
</div>
We walked past Robert Hays’ (<i>Airplane</i>) booth, and found him sitting with his assistant. No one was in his line. They were talking and laughing with each other, but I could tell he was dead inside. I’ve seen <i>This is Spinal Tap</i>. I know how sad it is for no one to be in your autograph line. I looked around for Artie Fufkin, Polymer Records, but saw no sign of him.<br />“Should we go up and say hi?”<br />“It’s $20 for his autograph, and probably that much for his picture. I think you have to pay just to go in his line. Besides, what would you say to him?”<br />“Dunno. ‘I like that scene in <i>Airplane 2</i> when you’re painting a picture of flowers, but then the camera pulls back and you see a naked woman sitting there.’ Something like that.”<br />“That’s not bad. Is that worth $20?”<br />“Nah. Let him rot.”<br /><br />We saw a <i>Silent Hill</i> nurse and Elektra walk by, talking about God-knows-what. I desperately wanted to get my picture taken with <i>Silent Hill</i> nurse, but I didn’t want to hurt Elektra’s feelings by telling her to bug-off, so I let them walk on by.<br /><br />I’d say roughly 40% of the people there were dressed like Dr. Who or a TARDIS. Whovians, as far as the eye could see. And pretty much all the men looked alike. As far as I knew, each of them had been an incarnation of the Doctor at some point. (There have been a thousand Doctors, right? I’m not making that up?)<br />I looked at a woman with a TARDIS dress and said, “Cindy-Lou Whovian?” I cackled loudly, because I’m the worst.<br />She looked at me blankly, so I cleared my throat and said, “I said, Cindy-Lou WHOvian.”<br />Here’s something I learned: Whovians are not to be trifled with. They suffer no fools. And, apparently, all the women pack their purses full of bricks.<br />When I came to, the woman was gone, but I would always have a broken nose to remember her by.</div>
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<a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/IMG_1898.jpg" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; color: #3b8dbd; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="The entrance to Whoville?" class="size-medium wp-image-1804" height="400" src="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/IMG_1898-183x300.jpg" style="-webkit-transition: opacity 0.2s ease; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; transition: opacity 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" width="244" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="border: 0px; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: italic; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; padding: 0px 0px 8px; vertical-align: baseline;">
The entrance to Whoville?</div>
</div>
I saw something that said <i>Back to the Future</i>, and immediately started shoving Whovians out of my way to get there, screaming, “Out of my way, nerds!” (I don’t learn lessons easily.)<br />It was the DeLorean (or, rather, it was <i>a </i>DeLorean). “I put together a model of you,” I whispered as I reached out to trace its aerodynamic lines. “NO TOUCHING,” came a yell. I scampered away like one of Sweet’s minions and never looked back. Comic conventions are scary.<br /><br />As fate would have it, that’s where I was supposed to be. I found myself at a table full of weapons. Glorious weapons. I turned to my brother; his mouth was wide open. “Are those Batman throwing knives?” I asked. All he could do was nod. I looked further up the table. Wolverine claws. Honest-to-God Wolverine claws.<br />When I was a child, I dressed up as Wolverine for Halloween. I took black gardening gloves and used electrical tape to attach white plastic knives. I assume every male has done the same thing at some point in their lives. Needless to say (though I will say it anyway), the prospect of buying Wolverine claws was too good to pass up.<br />Sure, I hemmed and hawed for a while. “I don’t know. They’re $35 a piece. That’s a lot of halibut.” We tried them out and they looked awesome.<br />“We’ll knock off $5 if you buy the set,” the man behind the table said, sensing our excitement.<br />“$65 to realize a lifelong dream? Seems a bit high.”<br />I originally thought we should wait. “I don’t want to lug around two metal claws all day. They could get heavy. Let’s wait until we’re ready to leave.”<br />My brother immediately countered with, “What if they’re sold out by then?”<br />I panicked. I couldn’t live with myself if I left the convention without Wolverine claws. So I bought the set. I couldn’t give the man my money fast enough. I’m pretty sure I was giggling as I handed it over.<br />Best decision I’ve ever made.<br /><br />We turned from the table and spotted The Avengers, all walking in the door at the same time. It was glorious. My favorite part was seeing some of the individuals later in the day. They were never all together as The Avengers again. It’s like they didn’t like each other at all, but they just had to make a grand entrance together. I respect that.<br /><br />After that, we took off for the James Marsters panel. It was delightful. He sat up there for an hour, answering every insane question asked of him with a smile and a funny story. “How did it feel to kiss that <i>Torchwood </i>guy? What did you think about the ending of <i>Angel</i>? How come your hair didn’t fall out from bleaching it all the time? No, really, how did it feel to kiss that <i>Torchwood </i>guy?” He cheered when a grown man told him that he had, “warm fuzzy dreams about Spike,” after watching <i>Buffy </i>episodes. He sang a song that he wrote for a Western. “Was that from <i>High Plains Invaders</i>? I feel like that was from <i>High Plains Invaders</i>.” I could not stop talking about <i>High Plains Invaders</i>.<br />In a particularly sweet moment, a girl holding a video camera stepped up to the microphone and talked about how her and her mother were never particularly close, but they used to bond over their love of Spike. Now her mother was really sick, and it was her birthday, and would he mind singing “Happy Birthday” to her? Without skipping a beat, he looked directly into the camera, slipped into Spike voice, wished her a happy birthday, sang the entire song, then blew her a kiss. I’ve never seen a girl so happy in my entire life. It nearly melted my cold, cold heart.<br /><br />We left the room on a Marsters high. “That guy was awesome, wasn’t he? Super awesome. I love him dearly. Let’s kidnap him and bring him home with us. He should be our friend. He’d love it. I have chloroform in the trunk. He won’t mind.” Ultimately, we decided against it, because we’re not monsters, there were a ton of witnesses, and the chloroform was a two-block walk back to the car in the rain.<br /><br />So it was back to the floor with us. We only took one pass before hitting the Marsters panel, so we decided to take a walk among all the booths. There were tons of great artists selling their work. Others drawing pictures on demand. T-shirts. Key chains. Bumper stickers. Bikinis. Bathrobes. Statues. Backpacks. Recognizable movie characters made from nuts and bolts. A life-size E.T. If you can think of it, they probably had it.</div>
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<a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/IMG_1897.jpg" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; color: #3b8dbd; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="Silently judging. Always judging." class="size-medium wp-image-1805" height="400" src="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/IMG_1897-196x300.jpg" style="-webkit-transition: opacity 0.2s ease; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; transition: opacity 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" width="261" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="border: 0px; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: italic; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; padding: 0px 0px 8px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Silently judging. Always judging.</div>
</div>
We looked at a lot of stuff, and even considered buying some of it. A lot of it was expensive, but that’s to be expected. I assume you could buy a lot of the stuff we saw online, but buying it there just seemed more fun. Also, there was no guarantee that the product we found online would be exactly like the one in front of us. I’ll be damned if I’m going to buy a set of knockoff Wolverine claws, or a scratchy terrycloth Batman bathrobe instead of the awesomely plush one we felt up at the booth. There was a constant struggle between Frugal Adult Dusty and Giddy Elementary School Dusty. Somehow, Frugal Adult Dusty won out more often than not. That guy is a total buzzkill. <br /><br />After walking through the booths, we thought we’d head back to the autograph tables and catch a glimpse of some celebrities. I creeped on <i>The Walking Dead’s </i>Scott Wilson for a while, who ended up giving me a sidelong glance and slowly reached down for his boot knife. I moved on before he could plant it directly between my eyes from 100 paces. Scott Wilson is ruthless.</div>
<div>
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<a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/IMG_1903.jpg" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; color: #3b8dbd; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="Had I tarried any longer, I'd be dead." class="size-medium wp-image-1806" height="400" src="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/IMG_1903-202x300.jpg" style="-webkit-transition: opacity 0.2s ease; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; transition: opacity 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" width="269" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="border: 0px; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: italic; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; padding: 0px 0px 8px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Had I tarried any longer, I’d be dead.</div>
</div>
We craned our necks to see James Marsters, but his table was packed and his line was long. Ditto Jason Momoa (although we did catch Momoa on a small stage for a short interview and got pretty close, which was great. He’s a handsome man). The Whovians were lined up against the wall, waiting for their chance to point their Sonic Screwdrivers at Matt Smith and Karen Gillan. I saw a group of 5 Whovians, all wearing the exact same outfit and actually sharing the same scarf. It was wrapped around all of them at the same time, and they moved in unison. It was like <i>Invasion of the Body Snatchers</i>. Was there a Dr. Who episode that covered that? If not, they probably wouldn’t have understood what I was trying to say. “What’s a body snatcher? Is that like a Dalek?”<br /><br />We moved on to Kristine Sutherland. There were a few people in her line, but not many.<br />“She looks so sweet. Doesn’t she look sweet? I just want to go up and give her a hug. How much are autographs for her?”<br />“$25, I believe.”<br />“What about pictures?”<br />“About the same amount, but I think you can only take a picture with one person at a time. And the sign says, ‘Autographs’ for this timeframe, so I think you have to pay for an autograph to get a picture.”<br />We all agreed that it seemed high, but we still wanted to lurk and stare for a while. So we stood outside of her booth, talking to each other and sneaking glances at her. Since her line was sparse, and the aisle we were in wasn’t highly populated, I’m sure she noticed the three of us standing there for 15 minutes.<br />Then, an idea.<br />“What if we get her to wear the Wolverine claws? Do you think she would do that?”<br />“I don’t know. That’s a great idea, though. I’d pay good money for that. That picture would be awesome. Let’s ask her.”<br />So we walk up, my younger brother taking the lead.<br />“We all love <i>Buffy</i>.” We nod vigorously. She’s smiling. This is going well. Or perhaps she’s scared of what the three people who have been staring at her for a solid 15 minutes would do once they approached her, and thought a smile would disarm us. “Can we get a picture of you with the three of us?”<br />She was still smiling. “Of course!”<br />“Really? That’s great. How much?”<br />“Ten dollars.”<br />“Ten dollars?! A BARGAIN! An extra question: would you be willing to wear Wolverine claws?” My brother removed the claws from the bag and showed them to her.<br />Her smile never faded. What a pro. “Wolverine claws? Sure.”<br />And so we watched Ms. Summers grip Wolverine claws, smile sweetly, and pose with us for the best picture in the history of time.</div>
<div>
<br /><div class="wp-caption aligncenter" id="attachment_1807" style="background: rgb(241, 241, 241); border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin: 0px auto 14px; max-width: 100%; padding: 5px 0px 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; width: 310px;">
<a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/IMG_1904.jpg" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; color: #3b8dbd; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="Happiest moment of our lives." class="size-medium wp-image-1807" height="270" src="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/IMG_1904-300x203.jpg" style="-webkit-transition: opacity 0.2s ease; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; transition: opacity 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" width="400" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="border: 0px; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: italic; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; padding: 0px 0px 8px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Happiest moment of our lives.</div>
</div>
We walked away giddy, and we couldn’t stop staring at the picture. “Let me see it!” We couldn’t stop talking about it. “Can you believe it? Look at how sweet she’s smiling! This picture is amazing. I’VE NEVER FELT MORE ALIVE!”<br /><br />I felt so good that I threw a recently purchased Tribble into the teeming mass of Whovians.<br />“What is this?”<br />“A Tribble. You know. From <i>Dr. Who</i>.”<br />“That’s from <i>Star Trek</i>.”<br />“Same difference.”<br />Those Whovians can glare. I could hear them murmuring among each other and looking in my direction. I could’ve sworn I heard one of them utter the phrase “a reckoning,” but it was probably just my imagination.<br /><br />We were getting tired, but we weren’t ready to leave. We decided to take one more pass through the throng of people in the middle of the floor, then find a chair and do some people watching.<br /><br />Of all the fun we had, I think the people watching was one of the major highlights of the day. Here’s a short list of people we saw/interacted with:<br /><br />Captain Jack Sparrow. Only one of them, surprisingly, and he was always in character. Or maybe he was always drunk. Hard to tell, really.<br /><br />A shirtless dude in spandex. I have no idea who he was supposed to be, but I admired his confidence.<br /><br />A gaggle of Harley Quinns. It seemed like every time I saw one, she was posing for a picture. People love Harley Quinn.<br /><br />Pyramid Head from <i>Silent Hill</i>. Apparently he couldn’t see through the mask, and needed a friend to guide him around the floor. That killed me.<br /><br />Leatherface, complete with extra-length chainsaw.</div>
<div>
<br /><div class="wp-caption aligncenter" id="attachment_1809" style="background: rgb(241, 241, 241); border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin: 0px auto 14px; max-width: 100%; padding: 5px 0px 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; width: 257px;">
<a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/IMG_1889.jpg" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; color: #3b8dbd; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="Photographer was running for her life." class="size-medium wp-image-1809" height="400" src="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/IMG_1889-247x300.jpg" style="-webkit-transition: opacity 0.2s ease; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; transition: opacity 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" width="329" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="border: 0px; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: italic; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; padding: 0px 0px 8px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Photographer was running for her life.</div>
</div>
Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers walking around together. “What’s your favorite stalking tactic? Did you see that time I stuck a knife in a guy so hard he stuck to the door behind him?”<br /><br />A family consisting of Bender, Lara Croft and Nathan Drake.<br /><br />A group of Browncoats.<br /><br />A Lego Man whose arms were so heavy his hands were literally shaking as he stood in one spot, having pictures taken of him. “Why did he make his arms so heavy? That looks like hell. That poor guy.”<br /><br />And, finally, my favorites: The Glamorsteins, dressed as rockabilly Frankenstein’s monster and his lovely bride.<br />“Hey, can I get a picture with you guys?”<br />“Sure. You want us to attack you?”<br />“Um…what?”<br />Immediately they fell upon me, sensing my weakness. They took me by my feet and shook all the loose change out of my pockets. I’m certain they would have given me a swirly, but they had a lot more photo ops to get to. So they unceremoniously dumped me on my head, shouted “Poindexter,” over their shoulders, and were off. I loved them dearly. It may have just been in my concussed head, but I could have sworn I heard Link Wray’s “Rumble” playing as they strolled away.</div>
<div>
<br /><div class="wp-caption aligncenter" id="attachment_1810" style="background: rgb(241, 241, 241); border: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Titillium, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28.7999992370605px; margin: 0px auto 14px; max-width: 100%; padding: 5px 0px 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; width: 279px;">
<a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/IMG_1918.jpg" style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.2s; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; color: #3b8dbd; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition-duration: 0.2s; transition-timing-function: ease; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="Moments later, I was bloodied and bashed." class="size-medium wp-image-1810" height="400" src="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/IMG_1918-269x300.jpg" style="-webkit-transition: opacity 0.2s ease; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; transition: opacity 0.2s ease; vertical-align: baseline;" width="358" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="border: 0px; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: italic; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; padding: 0px 0px 8px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Moments later, I was bloodied and bashed.</div>
</div>
We decided to call it a day. We walked out of the convention center and hit up BBC Brewery down the street. Great food. Great beer. Terrific atmosphere. If you’re ever in Louisville, I highly recommend it.<br />We talked about our favorite moments of the day, and went through all of our pictures. We thought about pulling out our Wolverine claws, but figured that would be frowned upon.<br />I looked to my left and saw Silk Spectre II. There’s something weird about seeing someone dressed as a comic book character just sitting down among regular people, munching on fries.<br /><br />As we left the brewery, we heard an angry shout. “There they are!” I looked to see a group of Whovians, pointing their Sonic Screwdrivers at us, bowties glistening in the rain. The one in the front had the flaming Tribble on a spike. They inched forward. We turned and ran to the car, peeling out before they could finish us off.<br />Before long, my brother was asleep in the back seat wearing his Batman robe, clutching his Wolverine claws.<br /><br />We all figured we would have a good time, but we didn’t expect to have as much fun as we did.<br />Our first convention was a good one, and we were already looking forward to the next one.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-85449130542900537102015-01-29T23:00:00.002-05:002015-01-29T23:00:43.025-05:00Ghostbusters RebootAs I'm sure you're aware by now, the <i>Ghostbusters </i>reboot was announced recently. The details are sparse, but here is what we know:<br />
1. It will be a reboot, not a sequel.<br />
2. It will be directed by Paul Feig (<i>Freaks and Geeks, Bridesmaids, The Heat</i>).<br />
3. The <i>Ghostbusters </i>will be female (Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones).<br />
<br />
That's about it. Sure, there are little rumors circulating (I heard something about them not wearing proton packs, but now I can't find out where that bit of news came from), but those are the major details.<br />
<br />
By now, I assume all of you have seen the blowback. I won't provide any links, because I'd prefer not to give them any more page views than they already have.<br />
So I thought I'd provide my thoughts on the matter.<br />
<br />
Let's start with my thoughts on remakes/reboots.<br />
I have no issue with the idea of remakes and reboots. Some are good. Some are bad. Some are totally unnecessary. <i>Evil Dead. Dawn of the Dead. Night of the Living Dead. The Thing. The Amityville Horror. The Crazies. The Town That Dreaded Sundown. Maniac.</i> All remakes, all terrific. Sure, you're bound to run into a <i>Black Christmas </i>or <i>Psycho </i>or <i>April Fool's Day</i>, but it's a bit of a reach to immediately hate a remake just because it's a remake. It's an unjustified hatred, and I'll never fully understand it.<br />
Here is what I like out of a remake: for it to be different, or to improve upon the original in some way. <i>The Crazies</i> took Romero's story and looked at it from the angle of the townspeople instead of the military. <i>Night of the Living Dead</i> took a timid Barbra and turned her into a leader. <i>Maniac </i>took the grime of the original, threw a <i>Drive</i>-esque sheen on it and showed us the film through the eyes of the killer.<br />
The best remakes make you look at the film as a separate entity from the original, not hold it up against the original and judge it. Remakes are more than capable of standing on their own merit, and that's what the best ones do.<br />
<br />
<i>Ghostbusters </i>has a chance to do that. I firmly believe the original <i>Ghostbusters </i>is perfect. It's every bit as funny now as it was when it was released. I'm not looking for this movie to improve on the original: I'm looking for it to be different. I don't want a recreation: I want a reimagination. Feig has said that he wants it to be "really scary". Even if you love the first one, scary is not the first word that comes to mind (except for that cab driver), so that's a start (even though the cast suggests it will absolutely focus more on the comedy than the horror).<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1dGg24zJ1HkGwW7H8DUiYPgCSu5kZeG6lNY8KCpgS2P5J9sj1nZzwORuqFQrAQ1s0V0QQFqcUddBLhQviNRR8uPruuvteRpwqvc_K3kEoYTeuK2oBLnZnPaGcYhNpyhewyf-bYhb0wCA/s1600/Ghostbusters+cab+driver.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1dGg24zJ1HkGwW7H8DUiYPgCSu5kZeG6lNY8KCpgS2P5J9sj1nZzwORuqFQrAQ1s0V0QQFqcUddBLhQviNRR8uPruuvteRpwqvc_K3kEoYTeuK2oBLnZnPaGcYhNpyhewyf-bYhb0wCA/s1600/Ghostbusters+cab+driver.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I'm looking forward to seeing what these four very funny people will do with these roles. I hope they take these and make them their own. I don't want to see someone trying their best to be Bill Murray's Peter Venkman. Take the idea of <i>Ghostbusters </i>and run with it. Make it your own.<br />
<br />
As for the people declaring things like, "This is ruining my childhood," I'll say this: don't go see it. If you've already written it off as crap before you've seen it, nothing on the screen is going to change your mind. Don't support it if you don't want to. That's your decision.<br />
Even if you feel that way, you can't even use the argument of, "The fact that this movie exists means that a better movie won't see the light of day," anymore. With the rise of the VOD market, great movies are popping up all the time. <i>The Babadook</i> was my favorite movie of the year (I know I'm not alone in that), and that did not get a wide theatrical release. If you don't like the popular choice, there are more alternatives than ever to choose from. You may have to dig a bit, but there are opinions everywhere. You can find someone you trust and look to them for suggestions. And these movies are at your fingertips. You could go from never having heard of <i>The Town That Dreaded Sundown</i> remake to sitting down to watch it in less than 30 seconds. Theatrical releases don't have to rule the day anymore. Find something you love, support it and tell others.<br />
Here's something I can guarantee you, though: this movie will not ruin anyone's childhood. Even if this version is terrible, the original <i>Ghostbusters </i>will not be forever tainted. It will still be there, every bit as amazing as it has always been.<br />
<br />
For me? I'm excited about this. I want to see what direction they go with it. I think this could be really good.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-30478701575243540532015-01-28T12:24:00.000-05:002015-01-28T12:24:13.314-05:00Transmissions from the International Cryptozoology Museum<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We
crossed the border into Maine at 1:00 AM while “Five to One” screamed from the
speakers. Jim Morrison howled “no one
here gets out alive.” Not the thing you
want to hear when you’re driving into an unknown state on very little
sleep. A few miles in, I saw a sign that
read, “Caution: Watch For Moose in Roadway.” So
my demise had been preordained. Well
played, Lizard King. Well played,
indeed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje_hzl0YF-kZx_rQ3S_gE-6S2VESfvoQdNHrp4UbaPMx4t-KfrXPzOEN9EYdqKklkNKt_n5S3BOhApe2u_xAoUcf5wKAxlCICIcU_5Tb2RJ9QuzWpeAJzYYvzInwWL6BeMhopcCnyqRu0/s1600/Moose+in+Roadway+sign.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje_hzl0YF-kZx_rQ3S_gE-6S2VESfvoQdNHrp4UbaPMx4t-KfrXPzOEN9EYdqKklkNKt_n5S3BOhApe2u_xAoUcf5wKAxlCICIcU_5Tb2RJ9QuzWpeAJzYYvzInwWL6BeMhopcCnyqRu0/s1600/Moose+in+Roadway+sign.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The next sign warned of butterfly screams</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">We
found a Motel 6 and slept the sleep of the dead.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The bed was small and a little hard for my
liking, but, after being on the road for roughly 19 hours, any bed looked good.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My
wife and I would be in Portland, Maine for a week. Before we left, I had made a list of things I
wanted to do while I was there. On the
top of that list was the International Cryptozoology Museum; the world’s only
such museum.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Cryptozoology
is the study of animals whose existence has not yet been proven (translated
literally to “study of hidden animals”).
The animals themselves are classified as cryptids. Some of the more famous cryptids include
Bigfoot, The Loch Ness Monster, Chupacabra and The Jersey Devil. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
museum was started by noted Cryptozoologist </span><a href="http://lorencoleman.com/"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Loren
Coleman</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">. The majority of the artifacts on display are
from his personal collection.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">On
my first full day there, I loaded the address in my phone and headed out. I parked and walked a couple blocks to the
museum. I walked past comic book stores
and record stores and book stores, and made a note to visit each of them before
I left town.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Before
too long, I found myself standing at the mouth of an alley marked Avon
Street. I looked to the end and saw a
woman walking a dog. Both appeared to be
staring directly at me. I heard a
distant howl and turned my head to look.
When I looked back to the alley, the woman and her dog had been replaced
with a cloud of mist. I saw the sign for
the museum about halfway down the alley. The mist was starting to creep towards
me. I bolted towards the sign and
slipped in the door just as two wispy tendrils reached for my legs. I slammed the door and breathed a sigh of
relief. "You're going to have to be
quicker than that," I whispered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
took a step inside and looked around.
The whole of the museum was two large rooms. The curator - a sweet woman in a polka dot
dress - was sitting at a small table to my immediate right. She took my money ($7), gave me a map and a
brief overview of the museum. I thanked
her and began to walk around. There were
only a couple other people in the museum, and all of them seemed very
interested in the artifacts on display. (I later discovered that the lovely curator was none other than Jenny Coleman, Loren's wife.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
first case I came across was a collection of figurines of animals once
considered cryptids, but now accepted as animals. “This section really gives credence to
cryptozoology as a science,” the curator told me. I looked at the case and nodded my head. Inside the case were such animals as the
komodo dragon, platypus, giant panda, mountain gorilla, coelacanth and
okapi. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
was going to look at the case for a little while longer – perhaps write down
all the names of the animals it contained – but I couldn’t. I looked to my right and saw Bigfoot,
standing against the wall. I jumped up
and down and giggled a little.
“BigfootBigfootBigfootBigfooooooooot,” I squealed. I glanced around and saw an elderly gentleman
looking at me and herding his grandchild to the other room. I refuse to apologize for my actions. The day I see a ten foot tall Bigfoot and
don’t react with glee is the day I don’t want to live in this world anymore.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I wanted
to get my picture taken with him, but the curator was busy at the time. "I'll just snap one of those selfies the
kids like so much," I said to myself.
As I was getting ready to take it, I swear I saw Bigfoot's arm move
towards me a little. I snapped the
picture in a panic and whirled around to look.
No movement, but his arm did seem to be in a slightly different
position. I looked at the curator. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqeLpVOOiAwYYMG577DHn9VHEv_mWjkb2C81lCl-u9OaAQgJBvz0Zsz9tnJ8jeCHhn61BJMfRyAZ1kpZMbHD90-fad9v2PdxLd_gPgjh0saCf-WKleBbIY-0VNFqdZCFpCFLyoWGb4Rig/s1600/IMG_2133.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqeLpVOOiAwYYMG577DHn9VHEv_mWjkb2C81lCl-u9OaAQgJBvz0Zsz9tnJ8jeCHhn61BJMfRyAZ1kpZMbHD90-fad9v2PdxLd_gPgjh0saCf-WKleBbIY-0VNFqdZCFpCFLyoWGb4Rig/s1600/IMG_2133.JPG" height="316" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">"I
think his arm just moved."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">She
laughed nervously. "His arm? No.
That's crazy. <i>You're</i> crazy. His arm.
That's funny."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">"I'm
pretty sure I saw..."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">"So
you think this large Bigfoot is alive and moves around the museum at night,
making himself sandwiches in the kitchen and sitting in the chair watching the
Patterson-Gimlin footage in between his random Netflix binges?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">"I...uh...I
never said any of that."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">She
laughed nervously again. "Oh
yeah. Me neither." She picked up a non-ringing phone. "What's that? It's urgent?" She put her hand over the receiver. "Sorry, I need to take this." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
shrugged my shoulders and moved on to the rest of the museum, occasionally
glancing at Bigfoot. I'm sure there are
worse ways to die than being mauled by Bigfoot, but I wasn't ready to die just
yet. Because I am so...very...pretty.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">If
you're in a hurry, you could get through the entire museum in 30 minutes or
less. But if you take your time - as I
did - you can easily spend a couple hours.
I spent my time meandering around the museum, looking at exhibits and
reading plaques. It was extremely
informative and a lot of fun. Here's a
list of some of my favorite things:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Baby
Bigfoot, named Esau after the Biblical figure.
What an adorable/terrifying little creature. Remembering that you're not
supposed to stand between a Bigfoot and its progeny, I quickly backed away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOdBak01E2ANlnHAsNh3EGrI_XpEwho3QlXhxPY92LPfp-JuQibilMmbTppFJUUCTJiDILp2ysrirsjqhLFhCvktOJYnLNQ5LoMVC8jngAzDmx-B8EOouCIaZjMHjQgEe23IV7I9dXEKE/s1600/IMG_2163.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOdBak01E2ANlnHAsNh3EGrI_XpEwho3QlXhxPY92LPfp-JuQibilMmbTppFJUUCTJiDILp2ysrirsjqhLFhCvktOJYnLNQ5LoMVC8jngAzDmx-B8EOouCIaZjMHjQgEe23IV7I9dXEKE/s1600/IMG_2163.JPG" height="320" width="276" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Uses pine cones as pacifiers, because he's hardcore</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">An
exhibit dedicated to Bigfoot, featuring the Patterson-Gimlin footage running on
a loop.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH_kzdkSkcpzQVlQM4cKF-3EUb6evsNgibT2Ug2OsKY947PsguYZSCtxTLGoVj5qhokJ5xvvwINEeqMUTro13HEbieXksBAXj_ewLhh_fKAf2463Yf3DEEQ_fK2ArtglTnchueolO-YMA/s1600/IMG_2134.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH_kzdkSkcpzQVlQM4cKF-3EUb6evsNgibT2Ug2OsKY947PsguYZSCtxTLGoVj5qhokJ5xvvwINEeqMUTro13HEbieXksBAXj_ewLhh_fKAf2463Yf3DEEQ_fK2ArtglTnchueolO-YMA/s1600/IMG_2134.JPG" height="320" width="286" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
head of a Loch Ness Roe Deer. Roe deer
are often seen swimming in the Loch Ness area.
From a distance, these swimming figures can easily be mistaken for ol'
Nessie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjps3pWk6zf6M6gAGo8d5dadMn5U4VoD1qTmBKhfgS6sIqgtRMPzdrJsSKSl39heJ4fT1iDloTmr3ywx9UExkdaLFizTHEcmxE6KChZIPyUX8dcB0tmhh6G8LfLHs6Dc9DxN5AAVNKSlxU/s1600/IMG_2137.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjps3pWk6zf6M6gAGo8d5dadMn5U4VoD1qTmBKhfgS6sIqgtRMPzdrJsSKSl39heJ4fT1iDloTmr3ywx9UExkdaLFizTHEcmxE6KChZIPyUX8dcB0tmhh6G8LfLHs6Dc9DxN5AAVNKSlxU/s1600/IMG_2137.JPG" height="320" width="184" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">An
exhibit for The Dover Demon, which was seen in Delaware in 1977.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3QlBzdro93VcYhAx75pcsqy9cI2BiFgaCtjQ6HWQjgIQfjhn0mo4YKnBGEpmkd2ugQEtFkNtgMg3O9Pk3IGsVs8UqUzAH3ALgWgHLs-1E4fmFBEyYR7I3x0yP1DaHdLiIj8_EG_tB5Aw/s1600/IMG_2139.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3QlBzdro93VcYhAx75pcsqy9cI2BiFgaCtjQ6HWQjgIQfjhn0mo4YKnBGEpmkd2ugQEtFkNtgMg3O9Pk3IGsVs8UqUzAH3ALgWgHLs-1E4fmFBEyYR7I3x0yP1DaHdLiIj8_EG_tB5Aw/s1600/IMG_2139.JPG" height="320" width="220" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">A
Jackalope. Who doesn't love jackalopes?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3mVhLIgFzQmw8AeYBFDeTvfLLSdmPvxgYVF2QhDjenu1dMmdDc6X5UxX1ojRPSJhGrmdYpARMzeuFCjbUscWrQz2nvaXtrLjKpIWwsyNfwjhnFH1WpPx5GSM1gIWrichZ_i6LYX5Xb8E/s1600/IMG_2142.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3mVhLIgFzQmw8AeYBFDeTvfLLSdmPvxgYVF2QhDjenu1dMmdDc6X5UxX1ojRPSJhGrmdYpARMzeuFCjbUscWrQz2nvaXtrLjKpIWwsyNfwjhnFH1WpPx5GSM1gIWrichZ_i6LYX5Xb8E/s1600/IMG_2142.JPG" height="320" width="172" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The picture behind him is a self-portrait. Jackalopes are notoriously artistic.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">A
Fur-Bearing Trout.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I loved this
one.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The story behind the Fur-Bearing
Trout is one of my favorites.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">One theory
is that these fish grew fur to deal with extremely cold temperatures.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Another theory (for those reported to have
been seen in Arkansas) is that someone accidentally spilled some jugs of hair
tonic into the water, thus giving the trout fur.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">It's basically the "Simpson and
Delilah" episode of </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The Simpsons</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">,
sans Karl.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Someone tell those fish that
baldness is hereditary.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh6dfpbPon1YeO0j0sT_43j42x1Kz0ZEfZJNWeiNhgJsifVt82Lm5Qv9rdKs6rWlfwipKk2LCwHPp7F7rFtKZMur8s84JOeoQdY7u9QcDfjT1Mya78TtN0jGOQINVdTnRjgEdUThWsVrk/s1600/IMG_2144.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh6dfpbPon1YeO0j0sT_43j42x1Kz0ZEfZJNWeiNhgJsifVt82Lm5Qv9rdKs6rWlfwipKk2LCwHPp7F7rFtKZMur8s84JOeoQdY7u9QcDfjT1Mya78TtN0jGOQINVdTnRjgEdUThWsVrk/s1600/IMG_2144.JPG" height="149" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>My mother told me never to kiss a fool</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The
legendary Fee Jee (or Fiji) Mermaid.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I
stood in front of the case for a solid five minutes, screaming, "Keep
singing!"</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Nothing happened.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The conch shell I brought must not have been
magical enough.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Mermaids be picky.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2kh-kO60efLWaCbZ93UETdb-nc9vVP-Gi9cUio52H4fHm_yHhAC4lljf_4CJNqCTZTRYzN0lgST7yVHPzO97vd6JMNgKEgbbEBaU_q5cy1cL7eQioLLihJzaj4RodKRlo-DAd6JPW3Go/s1600/IMG_2145.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2kh-kO60efLWaCbZ93UETdb-nc9vVP-Gi9cUio52H4fHm_yHhAC4lljf_4CJNqCTZTRYzN0lgST7yVHPzO97vd6JMNgKEgbbEBaU_q5cy1cL7eQioLLihJzaj4RodKRlo-DAd6JPW3Go/s1600/IMG_2145.JPG" height="320" width="155" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Look at my cage. Isn't it neat?</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">An
exhibit for The Montauk Monster.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">It was
Loren Coleman who determined that the beast was just a raccoon.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx9RVCkyEhdZM_NCnLZ5FOhUcviJSIPvJ5C_uypfpPlU7nOzCFyYYVxDKGQ9dzlJxEKmH1D6st86vFQA4ohRbTciJUfi1Ez9XDsRa6Zz6ueNx7GyShnQgfXsa60MIqXV3xWBSiqLJhoG8/s1600/IMG_2152.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx9RVCkyEhdZM_NCnLZ5FOhUcviJSIPvJ5C_uypfpPlU7nOzCFyYYVxDKGQ9dzlJxEKmH1D6st86vFQA4ohRbTciJUfi1Ez9XDsRa6Zz6ueNx7GyShnQgfXsa60MIqXV3xWBSiqLJhoG8/s1600/IMG_2152.JPG" height="218" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">An
exhibit for The Jersey Devil, including a plaque that was attached to the
Jersey Devil House, where he is said to have been born to Mother Leeds in 1735
in Pine Barrens, NJ. No word as to
whether The Jersey Devil had anything to do with the mysterious disappearance
of Valery.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYqsZQ_i7GAkehTZnnbjJ7UfZXCLH-l2gakQHvwreAA6yGdiHWnIp4-OcxLeHlWhaDlTqGuuOxHU9U8xxJHSw6555Vll1FginvFAmRcIfITmiWL2aRuVC3JJe3_sajvJZ-6g0FG3Snh0M/s1600/IMG_2147.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYqsZQ_i7GAkehTZnnbjJ7UfZXCLH-l2gakQHvwreAA6yGdiHWnIp4-OcxLeHlWhaDlTqGuuOxHU9U8xxJHSw6555Vll1FginvFAmRcIfITmiWL2aRuVC3JJe3_sajvJZ-6g0FG3Snh0M/s1600/IMG_2147.JPG" height="236" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Packets of ketchup and relish were nowhere to be found.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">A
replica of the Minnesota Iceman, sleeping peacefully in his glass case.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The fake ice around the glass was a really
nice touch.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHX9BcQGg8KYY3BsU_aEYTCDn4osf2lJojVNLaJ1NAfcC8Sch-qUPlEXt2UnR1h0nDTLWujFglUdEAMWyGr_II33MmI0w6yefcWoivZhz939hAVn8Y2zhrM6laio6Exq9aEi2NG6ZPtVk/s1600/IMG_2153.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHX9BcQGg8KYY3BsU_aEYTCDn4osf2lJojVNLaJ1NAfcC8Sch-qUPlEXt2UnR1h0nDTLWujFglUdEAMWyGr_II33MmI0w6yefcWoivZhz939hAVn8Y2zhrM6laio6Exq9aEi2NG6ZPtVk/s1600/IMG_2153.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">A
miniature recreation of the scene where the Patterson-Gimlin footage was
shot.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I spent a ton of time looking at
this and pretending I was inside.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Inside
the case, I mocked the way Bigfoot walked and was promptly torn limb-from-limb while
Roger Patterson and Bob Gimlin laughed.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">My head is a place not fit for man or beast.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9k4d3xix4j5N8LqsFo-TTiwq5vAKAEPfi9iTYuPtcc6HnQKTS1ByNoPPp8LFDEQPMIS1s-PRPUwb5YIiHlfgR_pgWQTRxcFUr8vbMfd6B2oh9H2jwhC-OVvTLjUV19Uo1TGRqEombSoQ/s1600/IMG_2155.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9k4d3xix4j5N8LqsFo-TTiwq5vAKAEPfi9iTYuPtcc6HnQKTS1ByNoPPp8LFDEQPMIS1s-PRPUwb5YIiHlfgR_pgWQTRxcFUr8vbMfd6B2oh9H2jwhC-OVvTLjUV19Uo1TGRqEombSoQ/s1600/IMG_2155.JPG" height="295" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>In my version, all the sand is blood.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Pamola,
a thunder god with the head of a moose, the body of a man and the wings and
feet of an eagle.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Legend has it that he
inhabits Mt. Katahdin, the tallest mountain in Maine (roughly four hours north
of Portland).</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiq0Udf03vxqcYhKa8CwCok-hyrjP8lSpm5fGIV5U-4SUA77uo9F7v6GKxOBJFOVgdXH3FWuYZzC6_3QA6Crhc0Q4umcaUVHi0Z-VyAdWPTkz2Yp3xqRUrLtDRl-937f6gN8FOEkIWrtLM/s1600/IMG_2156.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiq0Udf03vxqcYhKa8CwCok-hyrjP8lSpm5fGIV5U-4SUA77uo9F7v6GKxOBJFOVgdXH3FWuYZzC6_3QA6Crhc0Q4umcaUVHi0Z-VyAdWPTkz2Yp3xqRUrLtDRl-937f6gN8FOEkIWrtLM/s1600/IMG_2156.JPG" height="320" width="273" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">A
statue of Bandit, thought to be the first victim of The Mothman. "Good dog, good dog," I said
between sobs as I patted his head. It
wasn't Bandit's fault he didn't have easy access to Chap Stick.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj03Nbu37Y5boL22KreCWMzDRpZn2uCx4MB_39uQgd5XHaCPGKtIf8wIs3xNCZDaFWddNDjANWlJiL_3w8Ibt_wRzW9iEpYe6dNFs9VDml3SaoMt_sHD1mHHZMWwGBkC44xkMqfKTuLwVA/s1600/IMG_2161.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj03Nbu37Y5boL22KreCWMzDRpZn2uCx4MB_39uQgd5XHaCPGKtIf8wIs3xNCZDaFWddNDjANWlJiL_3w8Ibt_wRzW9iEpYe6dNFs9VDml3SaoMt_sHD1mHHZMWwGBkC44xkMqfKTuLwVA/s1600/IMG_2161.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">There's
a section dedicated to cryptids in popular culture. Stripe from <i>Gremlins</i> stared down at me from above. The Bumble from <i>Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer</i> smiled dimly from his perch on the
shelf. "Must have been before
Hermey got his pliers in there," I laughed. A low growl came from his direction. I let out a scream and moved on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxhRUAAbT6MaPMqM4RxdMZa2CuYOvhO1RmqfGLTbQhdN3TgJ1ird3Az1663Qjp9Fo762qlDWFk8PMLUaGONtdqXNTd5Dt9qPc0s3FPh6FPBK27EBihCVpEaOMzZZfBBf-crZI9GxPoBjs/s1600/IMG_2159.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxhRUAAbT6MaPMqM4RxdMZa2CuYOvhO1RmqfGLTbQhdN3TgJ1ird3Az1663Qjp9Fo762qlDWFk8PMLUaGONtdqXNTd5Dt9qPc0s3FPh6FPBK27EBihCVpEaOMzZZfBBf-crZI9GxPoBjs/s1600/IMG_2159.JPG" height="290" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">A
map of Maine with pins marking cryptid sightings in Maine. This was right next to a board with detailed
descriptions of Bigfoot sightings in Maine.
I spent a lot of time reading every entry on that board.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrqZbBQCD6NAv3b5q1c6ejQ_4g-dP7v1CBfRAoDPMwX0R4nvHu6YFwJnA368-JfPvuVOvmYqNslBeJwqoB0Xq193S25gPqB7gD_HD_56G8C5dBRhYWVdrf09jpaKvyVNMc4SM-YTQlxow/s1600/IMG_2157.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrqZbBQCD6NAv3b5q1c6ejQ_4g-dP7v1CBfRAoDPMwX0R4nvHu6YFwJnA368-JfPvuVOvmYqNslBeJwqoB0Xq193S25gPqB7gD_HD_56G8C5dBRhYWVdrf09jpaKvyVNMc4SM-YTQlxow/s1600/IMG_2157.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">There
is a lot more on display than I have listed here. And, although I try to keep up with these
discoveries, there were a lot of things that I had never heard of before. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHOv4eDiLPwSZRnm9-lklIiH89ScmBYG0FMyYSGpTBBQdWihcPKXZQKmgYa2B7lQPRuvp4Rp6KsSVo5Lqk32-7EVyLFG6ZivCBwkJ9U4X0IYaAn9bTakgd-18G6zV6NjsFUrQCYEMElvg/s1600/IMG_2158.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHOv4eDiLPwSZRnm9-lklIiH89ScmBYG0FMyYSGpTBBQdWihcPKXZQKmgYa2B7lQPRuvp4Rp6KsSVo5Lqk32-7EVyLFG6ZivCBwkJ9U4X0IYaAn9bTakgd-18G6zV6NjsFUrQCYEMElvg/s1600/IMG_2158.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">On
my way out, I stopped by the t-shirt rack.
There were some terrific shirts, but, sadly, none in my size were in
stock. Bigfoot gave me a knowing
wink. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Before
leaving, I looked at a stack of books for sale and picked up a copy of
Coleman's latest, "Monsters of Massachusetts". I talked to the curator for a bit and told
her how much I loved it. Eventually, I
got my picture with Bigfoot. I now knew
what he knew, and he saw me as a friend.
"The next time you watch Netflix, make sure you catch <i>Luther</i>," I told him. He gave me a small nod.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3jxynwGPfA4dsdaB6OI9JsUTd56euzm_EKXNSdlS2YiK-v0xfOWh-UabfRW9ur0Q-M1tVlmSG_-vLrUPCaYhMmL8JlK0NqSZHYKi2BLMWIlvXTGaUpM7YtjI6pcdvlOU6M3qOFITKpL0/s1600/IMG_2165.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3jxynwGPfA4dsdaB6OI9JsUTd56euzm_EKXNSdlS2YiK-v0xfOWh-UabfRW9ur0Q-M1tVlmSG_-vLrUPCaYhMmL8JlK0NqSZHYKi2BLMWIlvXTGaUpM7YtjI6pcdvlOU6M3qOFITKpL0/s1600/IMG_2165.JPG" height="320" width="268" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
walked out into the street to find the mist had dissipated. I didn't think it would be waiting for me,
but I had no way of knowing that for sure.
I took one last look at the sign and headed out towards Congress Street. There I would run into a machete-wielding
Jason Voorhees and a disembodied head from <i>They
Live</i> at </span><a href="http://coastcitycomics.com/"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Coast City
Comics</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">,
but that's a tale for another time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiesQzvxLpOavClJStsKeE3CzkFgYruu_Mrgejx_dm7yx0PtFfYc_Ho358rN-a8GXnjBl7Y8HBo4keRFTOSZHFY-B1soITCVpqHIWtAlX2j2ey8nrnyKiafN1h7qLwudUhUPonsX0U6kng/s1600/IMG_2169.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiesQzvxLpOavClJStsKeE3CzkFgYruu_Mrgejx_dm7yx0PtFfYc_Ho358rN-a8GXnjBl7Y8HBo4keRFTOSZHFY-B1soITCVpqHIWtAlX2j2ey8nrnyKiafN1h7qLwudUhUPonsX0U6kng/s1600/IMG_2169.JPG" height="320" width="209" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>OBEY</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">You
can find the International Cryptozoology Museum at 11 Avon Street, Portland, ME
04101.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I can't recommend visiting them
highly enough.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I loved my time there. Big up to Jenny Coleman for being so awesome. </span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFVdqRMjWJ1Xam4bj34mB9i992N2riQpxS_eOc1ecjygtXKSGMjsDfJVu7p887n48olfC4egprSJXJ2L__iUA9CKA-y5fq2s08y6VoEDaseDvFQ53cqyxc25fGorxN0k7YAWdBA1s70jA/s1600/IMG_2129.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFVdqRMjWJ1Xam4bj34mB9i992N2riQpxS_eOc1ecjygtXKSGMjsDfJVu7p887n48olfC4egprSJXJ2L__iUA9CKA-y5fq2s08y6VoEDaseDvFQ53cqyxc25fGorxN0k7YAWdBA1s70jA/s1600/IMG_2129.JPG" height="320" width="207" /></a></div>
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<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">You
can visit their </span><a href="http://cryptozoologymuseum.com/"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">website</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> and find them
on </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/cryptozoologymuseum"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">. You can also follow Loren Coleman on </span><a href="https://twitter.com/CryptoLoren"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Twitter</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoiShUmdXky-xdXyjZ1mHtkv9DB-utaSYX6Y4BLgZFAEpX0sCJZa1az0lfglS1QeaousWMBfQvZykckYVR-gu_bK1RNd8SPqxJ0uEYzMuZI9mrsM70CumO58DBjiMva2mK42BWxSkY2iw/s1600/Map.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoiShUmdXky-xdXyjZ1mHtkv9DB-utaSYX6Y4BLgZFAEpX0sCJZa1az0lfglS1QeaousWMBfQvZykckYVR-gu_bK1RNd8SPqxJ0uEYzMuZI9mrsM70CumO58DBjiMva2mK42BWxSkY2iw/s1600/Map.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Here is the map I picked up while I was there.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-74776881008024719612015-01-24T16:04:00.001-05:002015-01-24T16:04:55.301-05:00Best of 2014<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
You’ve handled<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: windowtext; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://clubzombie.blogspot.com/2015/01/worst-of-2014.html" target="_blank">my worst</a></span>, so
you’re now getting my best.</div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
Before I get to the list, here are some that just barely missed the
cut (or maybe they didn’t, but I wanted to talk about them.)</div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3snmTqDxZMvjyqE9YrQzkSm_teUviR8_WKE6vRioJ-R93Qmsc9qkUASLLh3gl8xcdqhJbT7oGx6xHFI9Ab4l61SgtFCKMC8rWM0lUamWvxw_o7V-x0yZgvCNgo4sUBIf-2KekaSLwxQg/s1600/Snowpiercer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3snmTqDxZMvjyqE9YrQzkSm_teUviR8_WKE6vRioJ-R93Qmsc9qkUASLLh3gl8xcdqhJbT7oGx6xHFI9Ab4l61SgtFCKMC8rWM0lUamWvxw_o7V-x0yZgvCNgo4sUBIf-2KekaSLwxQg/s1600/Snowpiercer.jpg" height="320" width="215" /></a></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<em>Snowpiercer</em><br />
Honestly, the only reason this one didn’t make the list is because I’m not sure
if it qualifies as horror. It has been a bit overhyped, and I don’t think
it’s as good as all the breathless overanalyzing tends to make it sound.
But it’s a solid movie, and I had a lot of fun watching it. The
cast is terrific, the story – riddled with logistical holes as it is – is a lot
of fun, and they do a great job with the video game type plot of moving
car-to-car, finding a new obstacle in each one. Try to ignore the hype
and watch this for what it is: a fun and unique sci-fi movie.<br />
<span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: windowtext; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/snowpiercer-mini-review/" target="_blank">My original review</a></span>.</div>
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<em>Godzilla</em><br />
<em>Pacific Rim</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>has
ruined me a little, because all I could think was, “Why not just build giant
robots and punch Godzilla in the face with their rocket-propelled fists?”
But I got over that before I went into the movie. I just wanted
something fun. Instead, all I got was a movie following the uncharismatic
kid from<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Kick-Ass</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>as
he travels the world as the only bomb expert left, somehow staying in
Godzilla’s direct path the whole time. I also saw two great performers –
Bryan Cranston and Elizabeth Olsen – get completely washed out of the movie (an
early exit and relegated to crying duty, respectively). There were some
good scenes and the last half hour made me walk out excited, but it wasn’t
nearly as good as I was hoping.<br />
<span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: windowtext; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/godzilla/" target="_blank">My original review</a></span>.</div>
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<em>Cheap Thrills</em><br />
The hype train was all geared up for this one. I lowered my expectations
before I went in. I’m glad I did, because, even with those lowered
expectations, I didn’t enjoy it that much. Sky high expectations would
have led to me hating it. The cast is terrific (Ethan Embry, David
Koechner, Sara Paxton and Pat Healy) and there were some good dark comedy
moments, but the story was extremely predictable, made even worse by the
feeling that they were trying to deliver a huge emotional gut punch at the end.
(I could see the end coming from a mile away.) There were also a
few scenes that really drove the drama forward by actions that made no sense (I
realize it’s a weird statement to make about a movie like this, given all the
out-of-character things that happened, but I stand by that statement and am
more than happy to discuss it). It wasn’t a bad movie. I thought it
was decent. But the overhype really hurt it. If you don’t expect
anything mind-blowing, you should have a good time with this.</div>
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<em>Life After Beth</em><br />
I didn’t expect much out of this. Just a fun zombie movie with a good
cast. That’s exactly what I got. It looked at the zombie genre from
a slightly different angle, and I enjoyed it.<br />
<span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: windowtext; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/life-after-beth-mini-review/" target="_blank">My original review</a></span>.</div>
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<em>I, Frankenstein</em><br />
I know, I know. Keep in mind that I’m a fan of the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Underworld</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>series, the first 3<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Resident Evil</em>movies
and the first 2<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Mummy</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>movies.
I’m a sucker for a fun action/horror movie is my point. This movie
is way more complicated than it has any reason to be, but it was a lot of fun
to watch.</div>
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Enough of this nonsense. To the top 10!</div>
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10.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Under the Skin</em><br />
All I knew going into this movie was, “Scarlett Johansson artsy<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Species</em>,” which is
really just word soup. But that’s pretty much what this was.
There’s not a lot of dialogue, and there’s a lot of Scarlett driving
around Scotland in a white van, talking to strangers. There’s seduction
and nudity, but none of it is alluring. This movie definitely isn’t for
everyone, and it’s not for every mood, but I really liked this a lot. It
has a hypnotic quality to it. Once it clicked for me, I was glued to the
screen.<br />
<span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: windowtext; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/under-the-skin-mini-review/" target="_blank">My original review</a></span>.</div>
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9.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>The Sacrament</em><br />
Those of you who know me know that I have never liked Ti West. I’ve never
liked a single movie of his. In fact, my favorite Ti West moment is when
he gets shot in the head with an arrow in<em>You’re Next</em>.
But this was something different. The first 30 minutes were pretty
slow, and I started to tune out a little. I knew where the story was
going, anyway: it’s basically a retelling of the events of Jonestown. But
then it started to pick up a bit. Even though I knew where it was going,
it was still able to draw me in. The paranoia and insanity increased
incrementally. By the time it got to the Kool Aid (or, more accurately,
Flavor Aid) scene, I was all-in. There are some images in this film that
I’ll never be able to get out of my brain. There were some extremely
chilling moments. I didn’t love the whole thing, and I had some
logistical issues like, “How did they get the footage off that specific
camera?”, but that’s just being nit-picky. I liked this a lot more than I
thought I was going to.<br />
<span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: windowtext; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://clubzombie.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-sacrament.html" target="_blank">My original review</a></span>.</div>
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8.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Sacrament</em><br />
Not to be confused with the last movie. This one was directed by Shawn
Ewert, and it follows a group of friends as they take a trip to Texas and find
themselves in a town surrounded by religious fanatics and the sweet, sweet
smell of meat. This could have easily turned into a predictable slasher,
but the religious angle helped to add another layer to the film, as did the
fact that these characters felt like actual people. Ewert made me care
about the characters and what happened to them. There were a couple
scenes I wasn’t crazy about, but, again, that’s just being nit-picky.<br />
This is also notable for being one of the final performances of<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: windowtext; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/rip-marilyn-burns/" target="_blank">the great Marilyn Burns</a></span>.
She doesn’t have a huge role, but she’s fantastic when she’s on the
screen.</div>
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7.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Tusk</em><br />
I just watched this last week. I’m still trying to make up my mind on it,
so it has a chance to climb up the ladder or fall down, depending on where I
settle. For now, #7 seems about right. I thought I had a decent
idea of what this movie would be: crazy old man turns mustachioed Justin Long
into a walrus. I figured it would be really gory. Something like<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Human Centipede</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>or<em>Hostel</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>or something. But it really
wasn’t. They didn’t show much of the transformation at all. That’s
good, because just looking at the walrus suit was disturbing enough.
There were a number of scenes in here that made me laugh entirely too
hard. It was a really well done dark comedy/horror. I loved it.
I could have done without Johnny Depp’s character, and the podcast
segment at the end reminded me of how much I dislike Kevin Smith, but those are
small complaints. I thought I would hate this movie, and I was completely
blown away by how much I loved it.</div>
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6.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Oculus</em><br />
I kind of lumped this into “mirror horror” (which I believe only includes<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Mirrors</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>and<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Mirrors 2</em>), so I wasn’t expecting much. I came
away loving this movie. There were some great performances here (Karen
Gillan and Katee Sackhoff were the standouts, but everyone was terrific.
Even the children were great, and I’m normally not a big fan of child
actors), the story was good, and there were some really creepy moments. I
love how the film played with the perception of reality. This is a great
movie to put on when you’re by yourself in a dark house.<br />
<span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: windowtext; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/31-days-of-horror-day-18-oculus/" target="_blank">My original review</a></span>.</div>
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5.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>The Canal</em><br />
A great, claustrophobic movie about a man who discovers his wife has been
murdered. The use of old murder footage was really creepy. This
combined elements of<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>The Amityville Horror</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>and<em>Sinister</em>, but still
had its own style to it. I knew next to nothing about this movie going
in, and I think I was better off for it. Just watch this movie.<br />
<span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: windowtext; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/31-days-of-horror-day-10-the-canal/" target="_blank">My original review</a></span>.</div>
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4.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>WolfCop</em><br />
Some glorious maniac<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wolfcop-movie-review/" target="_blank"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: windowtext; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">submitted a review</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>for this</a>, and I don’t know if I can
describe it any better than he/she did. Take<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Hobo With a Shotgun</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>and, instead of the hobo (sorry Rutger
Hauer) and throw an alcoholic werewolf cop into the mix. Bam. <em>WolfCop</em>.</div>
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3.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Horns</em><br />
I read the book and, while I liked it, I didn’t love it like I thought I would.
Still, I was very much looking forward to this movie. After Daniel
Radcliffe’s work on<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>The Woman in Black</em>, I was excited to see what he would
do here. He was fantastic, and the movie was dynamite. They nailed
the dark-comedy-turns-just-plain-dark mood of the book. A number of
moments had me laughing really hard. Beyond the humor, the story was
handled great. I loved that, behind all the insanity, was a simple love
story/murder mystery. There were times I was so involved in the story
that I almost forgot Ig had horns on his head. The cast was great, and
the story was handled wonderfully. It was everything I hoped it would be.<br />
<span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: windowtext; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/31-days-of-horror-day-4-horns/" target="_blank">My original review</a></span>.</div>
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2.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead</em><br />
My love for the first<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Dead Snow</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>is
well-known, so it should come as no surprise that the sequel ranked so high on
my list. With the success of<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters</em>, Tommy Wirkola was
given a lot more money to work with than he did with<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Dead Snow</em>.
And he put that money to good use. Everything was bigger.
More zombies. More blood. More intestines. More
insanity. This movie is a ton of fun.<br />
<span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: windowtext; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/dead-snow-2-red-vs-dead-mini-review/" target="_blank">My original review</a></span>.</div>
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1.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>The Babadook</em><br />
How could it be anything else in this spot? It’s rare that a movie
exceeds its considerable hype (for me, anyway), but this movie managed to do
that. The first 30 minutes or so were a bit dicey (screeching children
have a way of doing that), but I totally understand why they had to do that.
Then it settled in, and I couldn’t look away. I was completely
drawn in by the story. By the imagery. By the relationship between
mother and son. By everything. It’s a fantastically creepy movie.
Find a dark, quiet night, open a door you can see from your viewing area,
and put this on. Don’t look at your phone. Don’t carry on long
conversations. Just sit down and drink this in. You won’t be
disappointed.<br />
<span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: windowtext; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://clubzombie.blogspot.com/2015/01/the-babadook.html" target="_blank">My original review</a></span>.
(I may or may not talk about the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Pinky & The Brain</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Christmas Special.)</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-74867822324792005362015-01-24T15:54:00.001-05:002015-01-24T15:54:03.577-05:00Worst of 2014<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
My plan was to combine my Best and Worst onto one list. But then I got to
writing and it got a little too long. So we’ll roll with Worst right now.</div>
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I couldn’t find 10 films I really disliked, but it’s because I
avoided a lot of movies that probably would have ended up on that list. <em>Jessabelle</em>,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Ouija</em>,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Paranormal Activities: The Marked Ones</em>. All of
these were left unseen by me. I thought about throwing them at the bottom
of the list, but that seems cruel. One day I’ll watch them and rant about
them then. I don’t want to ruin all that fun just yet. I gotta pace
myself, you see.<br />
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9.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Zombeavers</em><br />
It’s not that it was terrible. It’s more what it represents, combined
with the fact that it just wasn’t very good. What it represents is the
new SyFy movie trend of making an obviously bad movie, with the plan of making
it so ridiculous (and making the title ridiculous) that people will love it for
those reasons. It’s a way to get people to love something ironically,
without actually ever trying to make a movie that would stand on its own
merits. SyFy has been making movies for a while, and, while they’ve been
pretty ridiculous, they didn’t always fit this bill. I would tell you how
many times I’ve seen<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Frankenfish</em>,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Minotaur, Yeti, Ice Spiders</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>and<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Sabretooth</em>, but I don’t need your judgement right now.
The wife and I once made sure we were both home to watch<em>Odysseus: Voyage to the Underworld</em>, starring one
Arnold “Imhotep” Vosloo. They were also behind some really quality
movies, like<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Splinter</em>. They weren’t cheesy all
creature-features. Then the giant shark movies started showing up, and it
all went to hell. “What if we made nothing but stupid, over-the-top
movies?” It’s hard to fault them, really: I’m sure the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Sharknado</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>series has drawn in more viewers/money
than<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Battlestar
Galactica</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>ever did.<br />
I’m getting on an old-man rant, so it’s time to pull myself out.<br />
That brings us to<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Zombeavers</em>. There was no plan in place to make
this a good movie. The idea started and ended with, “What if there were
zombie beavers?” It wasn’t funny. It wasn’t clever. It was
just a loud, obnoxious movie about zombie beavers attacking sex-addicted college
students in a remote cabin. There were a couple funny moments, but, for
the most part, it was really painful. An unfunny idea that was turned
into a movie without much thought put into it. I didn’t hate it, but it
wasn’t good, and it’s just the latest example of a trend that has gone too far.<br />
If it tells you anything, my favorite part of the movie was watching the
outtakes with Bill Burr and John Mayer ad-libbing while driving around in a
truck.<br />
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8.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Willow Creek</em><br />
This is on here because I wanted it to be good. It’s a found footage
Bigfoot movie directed by Bobcat Golthwait. I’m a fan of Bigfoot, and,
seeing as how I had just visited the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: windowtext; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/transmissions-from-the-international-cryptozoology-museum/" target="_blank">International Cryptozoology Museum</a></span>, I was really looking forward to this.<br />
It was really boring, and seemed to steal scenes directly from<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>The Blair Witch Project</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>(Golthwait says he’s never seen<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Blair Witch</em>, so I
guess it’s just some sort of terrible coincidence). There were a few decent
scenes, but I couldn’t stand the main guy, and that really hurt the movie.
It wasn’t terrible, but it just wasn’t very good.<br />
<span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: windowtext; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/willow-creek-mini-review/" target="_blank">My original review</a></span>.<br />
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7.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>The Quiet Ones</em><br />
I’m a fan of Hammer films. I love the classics, and I’m a huge fan of<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>The Woman in Black</em>.
This has a great cast and a pretty cool story (well, the story this was
loosely based on was good. This version left quite a bit to be desired),
but it didn’t really go anywhere. The writing wasn’t very good, and the
characters were barely characters at all. Like<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Willow Creek</em>, this
wasn’t terrible, but it was really boring and just kind of a slog to get
through.<br />
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6.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>The Purge: Anarchy</em><br />
I really disliked the first<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Purge</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>movie.
One of my main complaints was that it didn’t show enough of the wider
carnage. All we got was the inside of one house, and the family we were
stuck with was terrible.<br />
I got my wish here. We saw a bigger view of the city. We got more
people involved. It was exactly what I wanted. Until I realized
that it wasn’t. Outside of the main character (who was more an action
movie stereotype than a character), there wasn’t another likable character to
be found. I think there were a couple good scenes, but I can’t seem to
remember them, so maybe it was part of a fever dream.<br />
They tried hard to up their political statement game with this one, and they
failed horribly. It wasn’t smart enough to really say anything; just a
string of failed concepts. How is this only sitting at 6?<br />
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5.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>ABCs of Death 2</em><br />
Oh. Right. Because other movies came out this year that were quite
a bit worse.<br />
I didn’t care for the first<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>ABCs of Death</em>, so I wasn’t looking forward to this
one. But I started watching it anyway, because I hate myself. I say
“started”, because I didn’t finish this. I don’t know that I even made it
halfway through. I had planned to watch the whole thing under the premise
of, “If I don’t like what’s on my screen right now, I’ll just wait 5 minutes and
a new short will be on.” But then I remembered I would be doing that for
2 hours, and I just couldn’t do that to myself. I think I watched 6-7
segments (maybe more), and I didn’t like any of them. Had I finished
this, it would probably be higher on this list. Or I would be dead.
Either way, I guess.<br />
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4.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Wolf Creek 2</em><br />
In what seems to be a theme on this list, I didn’t love the first<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Wolf Creek</em>.
It wasn’t bad, but there just wasn’t much to it.<br />
For this one, they decided to make Mick Taylor – the killer – more of a personality.
Tell some jokes. Yuk it up. Make him more of a wisecracking
ne’er-do-well/serial killer. The people love to laugh with the guy who is
brutally murdering and torturing innocent humans, right?<br />
Maybe the thought process was that many people<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>do</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>cheer for the killers in slashers.
But that’s a little different than this. People cheer for Jason
Voorhees and Michael Myers because they’re known entities, and the victims are
purposefully vapid. “Who cares if they die? They’re not doing the
world any good, anyway.”<br />
You could counter my Mick Taylor argument with, “Freddy Krueger cracks jokes,”
but those movies were different than this. By the time Freddy was
cracking jokes (“Soul food, nyuk nyuk nyuk.”), those movies had long since
veered into the ridiculous. So far, the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Wolf Creek</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>films
are still trying to be grounded in reality. Sure, Mick Taylor may laugh
and make jokes as he’s running over a herd of kangaroos (nyuk nyuk nyuk), but
they’re still supposed to feel real (they have to, or the ugly torture scenes
would be for naught). This took what I disliked about the first one and
made it uglier.<br />
<span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: windowtext; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/wolf-creek-2/" target="_blank">My original review</a></span>.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDC5CVFJS7bZR1hq8pfnsielp2kFS-YQEBMmoDgsyJFe_am1nPMyPr6vXFMu-EEIRj3Vf8JY4qey3gZ01w7shQaCReMgSDovzlESOf5BBP0TgseQnsGCh0vCRQQP8luy3pmPGPxvUroQc/s1600/Alien+Abduction.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDC5CVFJS7bZR1hq8pfnsielp2kFS-YQEBMmoDgsyJFe_am1nPMyPr6vXFMu-EEIRj3Vf8JY4qey3gZ01w7shQaCReMgSDovzlESOf5BBP0TgseQnsGCh0vCRQQP8luy3pmPGPxvUroQc/s1600/Alien+Abduction.jpg" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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3.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Alien Abduction</em><br />
I had high hopes for this. Something about a found footage alien movie
sounded cool. It sounded like something I could get down with. But
the family we followed were boring/awful, and the movie just dragged. It
was basically the “Slumber Party Alien Abduction” segment from<em>V/H/S/2</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>stretched
out over 85 minutes.<br />
Hey! Speaking of<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>V/H/S</em>…<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN2jgIhJZXmupYBdZbr5-jfBLDgcFtByGxqJDqGS6-z5AOCnq18Yf_8bQyCo5xk_yLr-TnE7C2TSRnii-q-1W_eo-nBYmaM2D6pZP-uyfFK9IhDAeWhI4sebjQurJzv5pbqvw-coqwER8/s1600/VHS_+Viral.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN2jgIhJZXmupYBdZbr5-jfBLDgcFtByGxqJDqGS6-z5AOCnq18Yf_8bQyCo5xk_yLr-TnE7C2TSRnii-q-1W_eo-nBYmaM2D6pZP-uyfFK9IhDAeWhI4sebjQurJzv5pbqvw-coqwER8/s1600/VHS_+Viral.jpg" height="320" width="215" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
2.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>V/H/S/: Viral</em><br />
I didn’t like<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>V/H/S</em>, but I thought part 2 was a huge step up.
I didn’t have high hopes for this, but I did think it would be somewhat
enjoyable. I wasn’t expecting something amazing, just something halfway decent.<br />
I didn’t get that. I didn’t get that at all.<br />
The second segment – “Parallel Monsters” – wasn’t bad. It was a decent
idea, but it drug on for a bit too long. Still, a decent enough segment.<br />
The rest was terrible. The segment with the magician and the magic coat
was laughable, and didn’t seem to fit at all within the found footage of the
rest of the films. I honestly thought it was a joke, but I was mistaken.
The skateboarder segment was entirely too long, and the characters were
insufferable. The wraparound story was amazingly confusing. The
entire movie was littered with terrible effects of limbs being chopped off.
This was a terrible, terrible movie. I know anthology films can be
a mixed bag, but there was very little to like here. “Parallel Monsters”
wasn’t even good enough to warrant a rewatch.<br />
And the only reason it wasn’t the worst movie I saw this year…<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtUJhNg1kL_S9wC7nL136GcA5BUi4UAwraLOA2CU3RWYE2UlDWf1PrVqsqwYX-p-Ado2sYXGd57w6k_BVItFQOhL3Vokx-UeqKtOly8I3QdON0bpGAAKWPSK44eAiReWOtlR2dNxXy9uI/s1600/Leprechaun_+Origins.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtUJhNg1kL_S9wC7nL136GcA5BUi4UAwraLOA2CU3RWYE2UlDWf1PrVqsqwYX-p-Ado2sYXGd57w6k_BVItFQOhL3Vokx-UeqKtOly8I3QdON0bpGAAKWPSK44eAiReWOtlR2dNxXy9uI/s1600/Leprechaun_+Origins.jpg" height="320" width="215" /></a></div>
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1.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Leprechaun: Origins</em><br />
I like the original<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Leprechaun</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>series.
I don’t love it, and I certainly don’t think they’re good movies, but I
enjoy them for what they are: ridiculous slasher movies about a killer
Leprechaun. Even if I’m not necessarily in the mood for that kind of
thing, they’re pretty good movies to put on in the background while I’m doing
something else. I look up from making dinner, see the Leprechaun killing
a guy by jumping on him with a pogo stick, smile, and go back to dinner.<br />
I had prepared myself for something different with this movie. Something
darker. I was looking forward to it. The original Leprechaun was kind
of played out. With Warwick Davis being replaced by WWE’s Hornswoggle, I
was perfectly fine with a change of direction.<br />
But not like this. Never like this.<br />
The writing was terrible. The actual origin story was all told by a 4
minute info dump in a basement. The only likable character was Sophie,
but she was only likable because she was set up as our proxy. None of the
characters had much in the way of an actual character. Sophie and her
boyfriend were having issues, but they did nothing to add to the story or the
characters.<br />
And the Leprechaun? They say it was Hornswoggle, but who could know for
sure? Underneath the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Galaxy Invader</em>-esque rubber suit, it could have been
anyone. It could have been the kid from<em>Small Wonder</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>for all I knew.<br />
There was not a single redeeming factor in this movie. I thought I would
at least find something to have fun with. “So good it’s bad.” I
didn’t find that. Maybe I needed to watch it with a big group of people,
but I don’t even know if that would’ve helped. This was a terrible movie.
Please don’t watch it. Even if you like the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Leprechaun</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>series, don’t watch it. Please.
I beg you.<br />
<span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: windowtext; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/leprechaun-origins-review/" target="_blank">My original review</a></span>.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-83079405879855715632015-01-23T15:13:00.001-05:002015-01-23T15:13:45.585-05:00The Babadook<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgCin-d7CXybtE-ecnMLMjAG-DKPDfxFmIujHdpGiP9tmgG-ZtWu_tUZZTAubRENZR2G80VM70dQeDXUCuT5ng3JwCAPmr8b6DzUyuQkxIDxAINlu2sHF5r-fnBIOqhqboCvTUCj5CArk/s1600/Babadook+-+Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgCin-d7CXybtE-ecnMLMjAG-DKPDfxFmIujHdpGiP9tmgG-ZtWu_tUZZTAubRENZR2G80VM70dQeDXUCuT5ng3JwCAPmr8b6DzUyuQkxIDxAINlu2sHF5r-fnBIOqhqboCvTUCj5CArk/s1600/Babadook+-+Poster.jpg" height="400" width="272" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Synopsis
(from the official website):<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">From
breakthrough writer-director Jennifer Kent comes the creepy psychological
horror movie <i>The Babadook</i> that has received an explosion of acclaim following
its world premiere at Sundance 2014. The
film tells of a single mother, plagued by the violent death of her husband, who
battles with her son's night time fear of a shadowy monster. But soon, she discovers a sinister presence
is lurking in the house.<br />
With echoes of past and contemporary classics like <i>Rosemary's Baby, The Tenant,
The Exorcist, The Omen</i> and <i>Let the Right One In</i>, the film is an immaculately
crafted tale starring Essie Davis and Noah Wiseman. The supporting cast includes Daniel Henshall,
Hayley McElhinney, Barbara West and Ben Winspear.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
My thoughts: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">The hype machine was
fired up for this one. <i>The Babadook</i> had
been making the festival rounds and was getting nothing but rave reviews. I wrote a <a href="http://horror-writers.net/blog/trailer-talk-the-babadook/" target="_blank">post about the trailer</a>, in which I detailed
my attempt to lower my expectations. I
succeeded to some degree, but I was still very much looking forward to this
one. When I finally got my grubby mitts
on a copy of this (complete with a severely dialed-back version of the pop-up
book), I squealed. I squealed like a
little girl. In a little dress. Little saddle shoes. Little pigtails.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_lATcfLynp3fWzKCTIEZ5NMyQztS-HvGhBjiNV8HTvINejXZb0XsGAZHkbK5pk04SQ79zKY35clnND0Kp3GkeVTQwkzl-ssuqTDBt9G7f2CiPbj3vd1dMKiKfr1aS8V_6ZjK1hMnmIBg/s1600/Babadook+-+Drawn+Woman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_lATcfLynp3fWzKCTIEZ5NMyQztS-HvGhBjiNV8HTvINejXZb0XsGAZHkbK5pk04SQ79zKY35clnND0Kp3GkeVTQwkzl-ssuqTDBt9G7f2CiPbj3vd1dMKiKfr1aS8V_6ZjK1hMnmIBg/s1600/Babadook+-+Drawn+Woman.jpg" height="221" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>That does sound like a little girl.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">The first half hour of this was a little rough.
They needed to set up Essie Davis' Amelia as an exhausted, barely-clinging-to-her-sanity
mother of a problem child (the word they kept using was
"disobedient," but he was really just an unholy terror). They needed to do this so that, when Mister
Babadook showed up, we weren't sure if there were really a monster in the house
or if it was just the frayed edges of her sanity finally becoming fully unraveled.<br />
It's the way this was done that really wore me down in the early going. Her son, Samuel, is a shrieking horror. He sees monsters in the house from the
beginning, so he comes up with a series of weapons to battle them (my favorite
is a backpack that hurls a baseball with a mechanical arm). As you can imagine, this ends with him
breaking lots of things. He doesn't get
along with other children, which leads to them picking on him and him
retaliating. Between his gadgets and his
violence, he could be seen as a mix between Macaulay Culkin's character in <i>Home
Alone</i> and his character in <i>The Good Son</i>.
He is kicked out of school and forced to spend more time at home with
his sleep-deprived mother. But, most of
all, he shrieks. He kicks and screams
and screams and screams and screams...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8k2BskMEKeugkDxxSY3xqSA7p23ryxtfLaMQfaJ7PH2XgmO4O4cDsrFDOu5Qxji32p-ri_OjwmeEAsBGWeCr6eih-ehBpvK1cUUdniUBCJS4BRaVihPjy-4AjXyLUWaqYttLqg5htK0o/s1600/Babadook+-+Samuel+Screaming.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8k2BskMEKeugkDxxSY3xqSA7p23ryxtfLaMQfaJ7PH2XgmO4O4cDsrFDOu5Qxji32p-ri_OjwmeEAsBGWeCr6eih-ehBpvK1cUUdniUBCJS4BRaVihPjy-4AjXyLUWaqYttLqg5htK0o/s1600/Babadook+-+Samuel+Screaming.png" height="205" width="400" /></a></div>
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It's really obnoxious. I fully
understand that's exactly the point, but it's grating. We're supposed to sympathize with Amelia when
she feels like she just can't go on. She
may not love her child, and we're supposed to see exactly why she is at this
point. It's effective, but it's still
not a lot of fun to watch. Then again,
we're watching as a mother pretends to love her child, all the while
fluctuating between being afraid of him and resenting him. This isn't supposed to be fun. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAQI5J0-K0VcLjQT2L8-Dpvw6zul4uUa43afG45X0100jbiJRU4sL-j6HAUIvj2I5Yt7fQ2zvSKv7L0VYa-tA35Mz9JPFqBmXXbMpKTEsExbNuiWMAuAwRZgmSK-55WAfRHD7kgRX8EBY/s1600/Babadook+-+Checking+closet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAQI5J0-K0VcLjQT2L8-Dpvw6zul4uUa43afG45X0100jbiJRU4sL-j6HAUIvj2I5Yt7fQ2zvSKv7L0VYa-tA35Mz9JPFqBmXXbMpKTEsExbNuiWMAuAwRZgmSK-55WAfRHD7kgRX8EBY/s1600/Babadook+-+Checking+closet.jpg" height="253" width="400" /></a></div>
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Then Mister Babadook shows up, and the movie really takes off. A pop-up book shows up and she reads it to
her child. It's horrifying. She destroys the book, only to have it show
up later with some more pages added. Are
those new pages real? Was the book put
there by a stalker, or was it The Babadook? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZFOLO59SFYfv9HpLfJiY9evNl9Cp3cQdqHikfC5s1u_wuJWSpdYg3ep9ZycLLiK6O5KTZoX2kxwfbO5JJkjpEvBtr39Mtx6Mr2mDNBWGpAvT-JPU4mtNxtg-h5u_fWcmS65SxLDqqAFM/s1600/Babadook+-+Babadook+in+book.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZFOLO59SFYfv9HpLfJiY9evNl9Cp3cQdqHikfC5s1u_wuJWSpdYg3ep9ZycLLiK6O5KTZoX2kxwfbO5JJkjpEvBtr39Mtx6Mr2mDNBWGpAvT-JPU4mtNxtg-h5u_fWcmS65SxLDqqAFM/s1600/Babadook+-+Babadook+in+book.jpg" height="165" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br />
She starts hearing noises in the house at night. Seeing shadows move. When the first growling strains of, "Ba
ba-ba dook dook DOOK," filled the room as she hid under her covers, I felt
a chill go up my spine. <br />
Even then, it was unclear whether or not The Babadook was real, or just a
product of her deteriorating sanity. Was
she really hearing those things, or did she just think she was? She was sleep-deprived to begin with, but, as
the movie progressed, it seemed like she didn't sleep more than 15 minutes a
night. That little sleep can do terrible
things to a mind.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxJaWDQhBxWXV2gcBatTiMn_kEgf4ze4ec0vrGttu2hFO8thkZcC6Yy9Ma2a39lmH88cjRXvqlU_gmw86t_A6pWtaHz8u7NtdEQxi8gU_bo09SLIrtd1phtHklylZfQqVkbFRpR5I4QqY/s1600/Babadook+-+Amelia+in+window.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxJaWDQhBxWXV2gcBatTiMn_kEgf4ze4ec0vrGttu2hFO8thkZcC6Yy9Ma2a39lmH88cjRXvqlU_gmw86t_A6pWtaHz8u7NtdEQxi8gU_bo09SLIrtd1phtHklylZfQqVkbFRpR5I4QqY/s1600/Babadook+-+Amelia+in+window.jpg" height="166" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>TERRIBLE things</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">As Amelia's sanity slipped further way, Samuel somehow became the voice of
reason. The tables had turned. He was now terrified of his mother, and with
good reason. As much as she recoiled in
horror when the book showed her killing her son, a part of her seemed like that
would be a good idea. As a child, what's
more terrifying than a mother who wants to kill you? How she came to that point is trivial. To Samuel, it doesn't matter if she's
possessed by a monster or just exhausted: the end result is the same.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFitGb8jqGmzLLSg19_kjVbc0_ID3KlkCOTn1P3CWGdLktx1iCGCWY0A79H9wpcq6_92Gqoy7RII348BUIvRntF4crVY5G1Se_XXow-Qh4h1IYhLRrX4J7_26NWCK2gwM_MG-ZQabXABI/s1600/babadook_screaming.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFitGb8jqGmzLLSg19_kjVbc0_ID3KlkCOTn1P3CWGdLktx1iCGCWY0A79H9wpcq6_92Gqoy7RII348BUIvRntF4crVY5G1Se_XXow-Qh4h1IYhLRrX4J7_26NWCK2gwM_MG-ZQabXABI/s1600/babadook_screaming.gif" height="170" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br />
I don't want to get into it too much more, lest I creep into spoiler territory.<br />
<br />
I loved this. As I mentioned, the first
act can be a little dicey, but it's a necessary evil. The second act is great and filled with a lot
of creepy moments. The third act goes
completely bonkers, in the best way imaginable.
It can be a little hard to watch at times - we basically have a front
row seat for some nasty family violence - but it's not pointless. Everything is here for a reason. It's a film that doesn't pull any punches,
but also isn't shocking for the sake of being shocking. <br />
This is an extremely affecting psychological thriller that may-or-may-not
involve an actual monster. While it may
not be as terrifying as I had hoped it would be, it was still really creepy and
was on my mind for days. A lot of these
images and themes are extremely hard to shake. This movie works best when you're paying full attention to it. Find a quiet night, turn off all the lights and lose yourself in <i>The Babadook</i>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzYFe-Azf318NHU8CmTtesmAD6ytdMNbsDRpIQ3vjziVUTzCn2ntyMBlxVOW-HrrSi8YZKZmC-AUrX4444HXOlmjFuApxEbHWQXRQ7T5-ywFzBdWW3bImEYJkFV6jG-hJYbJozfr3dvTQ/s1600/Babadook+-+Amelia+Screaming.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzYFe-Azf318NHU8CmTtesmAD6ytdMNbsDRpIQ3vjziVUTzCn2ntyMBlxVOW-HrrSi8YZKZmC-AUrX4444HXOlmjFuApxEbHWQXRQ7T5-ywFzBdWW3bImEYJkFV6jG-hJYbJozfr3dvTQ/s1600/Babadook+-+Amelia+Screaming.jpg" height="257" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br />Rating: 5/5<br />
<br />
One final thought: <br />They decided to make copies of the Mister Babadook pop-up book featured in the film. Did I buy one? Yes. Yes I did. However, I have some concerns.<br />
Let's say that reading this book wills Mister Babadook into existence. Doesn't it seem like a bad idea to flood
households with a book that calls forth a monster? It's basically the plot of the Pinky &
The Brain Christmas special, except instead of it ending with The Brain taking
over the world through hypnosis, it ends with a ton of people housing a monster
and possibly killing all their loved ones.
This seems like a very bad idea.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd-lsM9meewMHimgAYcnuVmmY0Kzj7ilz33RVHcs6rfUnaVHewkcEJ6pRA100uPDElR8pg9SzjjWloZHEDr_7M_-1wE4OKf7iGI2Tike5XQSLyvfJ8t4US_QsOcEPLuQZDL3dH1MIz2oY/s1600/Noodle+Noggin+Lit+Up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd-lsM9meewMHimgAYcnuVmmY0Kzj7ilz33RVHcs6rfUnaVHewkcEJ6pRA100uPDElR8pg9SzjjWloZHEDr_7M_-1wE4OKf7iGI2Tike5XQSLyvfJ8t4US_QsOcEPLuQZDL3dH1MIz2oY/s1600/Noodle+Noggin+Lit+Up.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br />
Also, is there only one Babadook, or will each book conjure up a separate
Babadook? If there's only one, the
results would be delayed. He would
terrorize one family until he's done, then move on to the next (or he would try
to split his time equally and end up with all of us being mildly inconvenienced
by his presence). If there is one
Babadook for every book, we're in big, big trouble.<br />I know they say you can't get rid of him, but I take that as a personal challenge. You and me, Mister Babadook. Let's dance.<br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-48021988724961583682014-10-04T18:53:00.000-04:002014-10-04T18:53:39.340-04:00Horns<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV-PYFwfzA7ORzzsKSLiesHmfG5lFBq_uODxO2-ZCFVgl1H5bWG4tAmQ53_Qwb3Xn5AJhcc6OFaxbJMITwN01HLjEe_Y10S18aTh6WK5EBxdSJ4SudJHPTvJTxH_MeuyzvCNbbnsmxrqE/s1600/Horns+-+Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV-PYFwfzA7ORzzsKSLiesHmfG5lFBq_uODxO2-ZCFVgl1H5bWG4tAmQ53_Qwb3Xn5AJhcc6OFaxbJMITwN01HLjEe_Y10S18aTh6WK5EBxdSJ4SudJHPTvJTxH_MeuyzvCNbbnsmxrqE/s1600/Horns+-+Poster.jpg" height="400" width="250" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Short
synopsis: Ig’s girlfriend Merrin is found murdered in the woods, and Ig is the prime
suspect. He awakens one morning to find
that he has sprouted horns, which give him some highly persuasive powers. He uses these powers to find out who killed
Merrin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Notable
actors: Daniel Radcliffe, Juno Temple, Heather Graham, David Morse, James
Remar, Kathleen Quinlan<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My
thoughts:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
had been looking forward to this movie since I first saw it announced. I already had plans to see it upon its
release on Halloween. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Apparently
I’m terrible at keeping up with horror news, because <i>Horns</i> hit VOD on October 3. I
grabbed it as soon as I got home from work and watched it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiarIYIXnakYSDHyDbwH16_3QMNYRcWbX_h2tZ02FR8X6hrhD8iV09etu_kMbcVZ9rq5tTgPFPPBxgy_kM4-FnQbMdSq9bVERoLS7zu9PCJ6hv4iso-7DHpy1XnCQIqoxQPU8al9K7_Gg8/s1600/Horns+-+Ig+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiarIYIXnakYSDHyDbwH16_3QMNYRcWbX_h2tZ02FR8X6hrhD8iV09etu_kMbcVZ9rq5tTgPFPPBxgy_kM4-FnQbMdSq9bVERoLS7zu9PCJ6hv4iso-7DHpy1XnCQIqoxQPU8al9K7_Gg8/s1600/Horns+-+Ig+1.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Just
like the book, it has a strange tone throughout. It starts out darkly comedic, then slowly
loses the comedy as it goes along. After
the comedy has been stripped away, you’re made fully aware of just how twisted the
events of the movie really are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizU_i6H0KAHIw_VqQOmDtrfelz8upu1MQhufRodHDrplMWtxfO5Nm9rxbCYeWLNSZO4QFqN66BXn_nz65Uw0TMoVHY1bkcuhrBNee-ItgJjtK6-Dx8WIYuqG1OhpcIJl_WdSDSCAraKyI/s1600/Horns+-+Glenna.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizU_i6H0KAHIw_VqQOmDtrfelz8upu1MQhufRodHDrplMWtxfO5Nm9rxbCYeWLNSZO4QFqN66BXn_nz65Uw0TMoVHY1bkcuhrBNee-ItgJjtK6-Dx8WIYuqG1OhpcIJl_WdSDSCAraKyI/s1600/Horns+-+Glenna.jpg" height="231" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
comedy is terrific. It’s odd to say that
the guy with the horns works as the straight man, but that’s exactly what
happens here. Daniel Radcliffe’s horned
Ig Perrish finds that everyone he comes in contact with feels compelled to tell
him their darkest desires.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">A
woman with a bratty child tells Ig that she wants to abandon her family and run
away with her golf instructor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">A bar
owner says he wants to burn his bar down to collect the insurance money.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">And
so on. Through it all, it’s the
reactions of Ig that sell the comedy.
Radcliffe shows off a wide array of faces that feature a mixture of
shock, disgust, curiosity, fear, exhaustion and amusement. Ig navigates his way through his town with a
set of horns, but it’s the rest of the inhabitants that show their monstrous
side. (Sorry. I couldn’t resist.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO7FpLZCEfUZJ8aR4wiL-WzH_Bb2gL7vv6sTxwOIr06Ll5fNUXPzkIb-dc_or4p76ULIMhqBH8Dj4UW9qtUUOt-TbrNMRilQpIHGZpR63fZO7W6YeX_anMmNnLTFX877Yjh2ap1Dlm-r0/s1600/Horns+-+Ig+&+Merrin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO7FpLZCEfUZJ8aR4wiL-WzH_Bb2gL7vv6sTxwOIr06Ll5fNUXPzkIb-dc_or4p76ULIMhqBH8Dj4UW9qtUUOt-TbrNMRilQpIHGZpR63fZO7W6YeX_anMmNnLTFX877Yjh2ap1Dlm-r0/s1600/Horns+-+Ig+&+Merrin.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">At
its heart, this is a love story. The
only times we see Ig and Merrin together are through flashbacks. We hear a lot about her from others, and it’s
clear that she was well-loved by everyone who knew her. In a particularly beautiful and heartbreaking
statement, Derrick Perrish (Ig’s father) proclaims, “She was my favorite thing
about you,” to which Ig promptly agrees.
The hatred the people in his life have for him is directly proportional
to the love they had for Merrin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRAOzu7pPxA0txeNphteavz34FmYpGt5-X6sAOPcbDC_r8KpYZZ7MhYqOW9wXwamdtnM5Sybyn3GstvSPvG-2yIlbHHR5kOL02t_CA5rdeDjjD__riSr6HnzUipwP68pVDlx9Q-qKHSO8/s1600/Horns+-+Merrin+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRAOzu7pPxA0txeNphteavz34FmYpGt5-X6sAOPcbDC_r8KpYZZ7MhYqOW9wXwamdtnM5Sybyn3GstvSPvG-2yIlbHHR5kOL02t_CA5rdeDjjD__riSr6HnzUipwP68pVDlx9Q-qKHSO8/s1600/Horns+-+Merrin+1.jpg" height="400" width="281" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It’s
a great story, and it’s told really well.
It has great characters and a terrific cast. It was also a faithful adaptation of the
book. While they changed some things,
they were minor and didn’t hurt the overall feel or the story. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Let’s
talk about the book for a few seconds. I
liked the book, but there were quite a few cheesy/cringe-worthy moments that
found me rolling my eyes. A lot of those
moments were omitted here, which I appreciated.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
loved this movie, and I love it even more the more I think about it. My expectations were sky-high, and this may
have exceeded those expectations. I will
definitely be watching this again sooner rather than later.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Rating:
5/5<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">A
few random thoughts:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">There
was some great music here. The usage of
David Bowie’s “Heroes” was absolutely perfect (not that there’s really a bad
moment for that song, but still).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
movie looked great, and had some really amazing visual moments. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHewwY3Nuczeuw5JS7IlOGiKWNCOiHBIm81DiLhgtyRlt6vZ5uhBorC-pn2ZOubVhIZvzuAAPj51MVH1RLNYEtQxq4dD-eedrMnxo_qb8W8ZuCX33oJ1MlLZeyK51X3wKYDuE_CuaF80A/s1600/Horns+-+Ig+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHewwY3Nuczeuw5JS7IlOGiKWNCOiHBIm81DiLhgtyRlt6vZ5uhBorC-pn2ZOubVhIZvzuAAPj51MVH1RLNYEtQxq4dD-eedrMnxo_qb8W8ZuCX33oJ1MlLZeyK51X3wKYDuE_CuaF80A/s1600/Horns+-+Ig+3.jpg" height="136" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
actor who played young Eric Hannity (“Meatbag”) reminded me a little bit of
Thurman Murman.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">I absolutely loved
this quote: “People say you have to do the right thing. Sometimes there is no right thing. Then, you just have to pick the sin you can
live with.” </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR-W_eAa8WHN3mRkcnuy1IihzTYqCN_5jxj1izKiB4xfq83BE9odPuQUvd4ExF8zQeNbiH4vVuGPbpZNVJv9Lts2P6AjNSuYr83SIpT68cZqkKRsj5MCb7GnExknc5feyz7UUORaiEV5I/s1600/Horns+-+Ig+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR-W_eAa8WHN3mRkcnuy1IihzTYqCN_5jxj1izKiB4xfq83BE9odPuQUvd4ExF8zQeNbiH4vVuGPbpZNVJv9Lts2P6AjNSuYr83SIpT68cZqkKRsj5MCb7GnExknc5feyz7UUORaiEV5I/s1600/Horns+-+Ig+2.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-17893451443564723432014-09-17T22:31:00.002-04:002014-09-17T22:31:40.812-04:00Mini Review: Rigor Mortis<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPaYtq5Fbc3aaif369hVvWL6CkKPA30seRN39GqtRaeB7I7lkLZ1bj87kql2VW9BiP2tMqVeOYVVB4fKP9N_LbmAsy1M_Mk1aBHFVxLvWvji8gF2WBncgn0R9uTiytAlQIOE6qvF6-rV8/s1600/Rigor+Mortis+Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPaYtq5Fbc3aaif369hVvWL6CkKPA30seRN39GqtRaeB7I7lkLZ1bj87kql2VW9BiP2tMqVeOYVVB4fKP9N_LbmAsy1M_Mk1aBHFVxLvWvji8gF2WBncgn0R9uTiytAlQIOE6qvF6-rV8/s1600/Rigor+Mortis+Poster.jpg" height="400" width="283" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">You
ever have one of those movies that you watch, get to the end and ask,
"What was that?" For me, that
movie was Juno Mak's <i>Rigor Mortis</i>, a
vampire/possession-zombie(?) movie that starts and ends in some kind of gray
mud, which can probably serve as some sort of commentary on the entire film. It was made in tribute to the <i>Mr. Vampire</i> series of films and stars a
lot of the actors who made their name in those films. I have not been able to track these down, but
I have it on good authority (Wikipedia) that they exist. So that's something.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Rigor Mortis</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> belongs in the
jiangshi genre. Jiangshi are hopping corpses
in Chinese folklore. These are also
known as "hopping vampire films", which sounds about right. There were hopping entities in this film,
complete with red tendrils protruding from their entire body, for reasons I
wasn't entirely clear on. Were they
vampires? I'm still not entirely
sure. They seemed to be more like demons
or ghosts, but that's neither here nor there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZQReKk3UwCHTYjyo3WG2qWJUmJzWgAEBUoPggKtMJ0E4pFZpt7mLZoIJl-LDjtTeAi8jg84u7tBg4GqPyIJOVtf_eez1g7ArwLTlvaxtHbWfZCzvRIxpDz0WaOZI7Y2qY2E1uEq6KFjE/s1600/Rigor+Mortis+Twins.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZQReKk3UwCHTYjyo3WG2qWJUmJzWgAEBUoPggKtMJ0E4pFZpt7mLZoIJl-LDjtTeAi8jg84u7tBg4GqPyIJOVtf_eez1g7ArwLTlvaxtHbWfZCzvRIxpDz0WaOZI7Y2qY2E1uEq6KFjE/s1600/Rigor+Mortis+Twins.jpg" height="175" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Vampires?</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Let
me try to explain the plot to you and we'll see if my head explodes. A washed-up actor moves into a decrepit
apartment complex with lots of strange characters. He immediately tries to kill himself and is
saved by a resident; a great rice cook/vampire hunter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">There's
a woman who lives in the complex with her little white-haired son. They used to live in an apartment, but now
they don't, so they wander the halls, stealing food. They live in the basement because the kindly
security guard feels bad for them. They
used to live in the apartment the actor moved into, but her husband cheated on
her and got killed by ghosts? Maybe? That whole scene was hard to follow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">There's
a warlock. Like, a straight-up
warlock. It might just be me projecting
my thoughts when looking back, but I think he had a really dark goatee and wore
a robe. (He did not wear a robe.) He coughs a lot and smokes "special
cigarettes". (Spoiler alert: it's
the crushed-up bones of innocent children.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">There's
an elderly lady and her husband. He dies
by falling down stairs, and the warlock convinces her to do a ritual that will
revive her husband. It's weird and
creepy and she becomes unhinged quickly.
He becomes a monster who likes to kill, and she seems legitimately
surprised by this, despite the fact that he looks like a monster and was raised
from the dead by a warlock.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi07yi08fAhkicSxl9Bbf-mopFnKAUHPvrDFjcywNwaPj5yFnMlse6hqXIXpMY5s-vQwVsY1yVsL1hGUyS0EgydEle95m7o0YCUtyM7VbPFeLx-xM2tDUGotaF8h8-8dyNt1uhexpMBAgg/s1600/Rigor+Mortis+Monster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi07yi08fAhkicSxl9Bbf-mopFnKAUHPvrDFjcywNwaPj5yFnMlse6hqXIXpMY5s-vQwVsY1yVsL1hGUyS0EgydEle95m7o0YCUtyM7VbPFeLx-xM2tDUGotaF8h8-8dyNt1uhexpMBAgg/s1600/Rigor+Mortis+Monster.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>He's fine, you guys. He's just really sleepy.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">There's
a big fight scene at the end that I didn't fully understand. There's a little scene after the fight scene
that I didn't fully understand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
feel like I would have understood this better if I had been very familiar with
the <i>Mr. Vampire</i> films. But I have never seen a <i>Mr. Vampire</i> film, so I was very much in the dark for the duration
of the movie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1C3yi_PZgY2to5MQSvKyQ4vk-Feq7kuEK4CGpuRhJCGGJnT43atDVWDQM2v9KTB-4K1sgnuCg6mtHeiWSwGa-mC7O_oOzMuqLOF-7Jnexwi-jhpda4RLZavdDzZ1GEVfo_NBM_Lmk59E/s1600/Rigor+Mortis+Jumping.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1C3yi_PZgY2to5MQSvKyQ4vk-Feq7kuEK4CGpuRhJCGGJnT43atDVWDQM2v9KTB-4K1sgnuCg6mtHeiWSwGa-mC7O_oOzMuqLOF-7Jnexwi-jhpda4RLZavdDzZ1GEVfo_NBM_Lmk59E/s1600/Rigor+Mortis+Jumping.jpg" height="213" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>YAAAAAAAA!</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It
looked really cool, though. I feel like
this was one of those movies that would be perfect for putting on in the
background of a Halloween party. If I
had Halloween parties, I would absolutely do that. Mute the movie, throw some music on and
glance over at the screen from time to time.
It would be tremendous.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I can't
recommend it as an actual movie, though.
Cool as it may look, the story is absolutely nonsensical. It wasn't a complete waste of time, but it
was a 75% waste of time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">Rating: 1/5<span id="goog_1933219515"></span><span id="goog_1933219516"></span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-88239711712595781112014-08-24T22:29:00.004-04:002014-08-24T22:29:51.264-04:00Mini Review: Life After Beth<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibFDPjHVhli5OMCn2ELpgzoV2lxAkf4M01PgShj77i29ipXn92FibBYUtWMtsUFmQSp7Nyt13YDBhoDdvBM9Ox4VKd8YuNoVrySBg-qx8wqHrAQBourfBqn-GwJ1A72eEwWUHkol-d4Kg/s1600/Life+After+Beth+-+Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibFDPjHVhli5OMCn2ELpgzoV2lxAkf4M01PgShj77i29ipXn92FibBYUtWMtsUFmQSp7Nyt13YDBhoDdvBM9Ox4VKd8YuNoVrySBg-qx8wqHrAQBourfBqn-GwJ1A72eEwWUHkol-d4Kg/s1600/Life+After+Beth+-+Poster.jpg" height="400" width="270" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Description
from IMDB:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">A
young man’s recently deceased girlfriend mysteriously returns from the dead,
but he slowly realizes she is not the way he remembered her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Notable
actors: Aubrey Plaza, John C. Reilly, Molly Shannon, Cheryl Hines, Paul Reiser,
Anna Kendrick, Dan DeHaan, Matthew Gray Gubler, Garry Marshall<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSi4P9n5ER5BgTuNUoAwiyVA3C-sWkTSlLgm7AMVkrrzO557xDxUhg4MM7GkiB_wlOFbn_rfRf6ehwe3CTVoczMO2zAEzQtnDiAzUZOeHK5uIklE3ixqfTOXn6ZgGfNPbRL3K_YEKea4I/s1600/Life+After+Beth+-+Beth+head+on+roof.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSi4P9n5ER5BgTuNUoAwiyVA3C-sWkTSlLgm7AMVkrrzO557xDxUhg4MM7GkiB_wlOFbn_rfRf6ehwe3CTVoczMO2zAEzQtnDiAzUZOeHK5uIklE3ixqfTOXn6ZgGfNPbRL3K_YEKea4I/s1600/Life+After+Beth+-+Beth+head+on+roof.png" height="216" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It’s
a well-known fact that I enjoy zombie movies.
Because I have seen so many, I find myself drawn to films that are a bit
different from the norm. I like seeing a
familiar story from a different angle. This
is true of horror movies in general. <i>Fido</i>.
<i>Colin</i>. <i>Shaun
of the Dead</i>. <i>The Cabin in the Woods</i>. <i>Scream</i>. And so on. If there is a movie with a new way of looking
at familiar tropes, chances are good that I’ll enjoy it. (Not all of them, though. <i>American
Zombie</i> was terrible.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvrugGllK8-kfRW4kdSA6dO5MbO0OXMWM9c0PNp8jpJaFjoBCBIFR1-afnLhgb3jLbqdawwo3Wngdb2_6tYxENMb95KSLo5atb1cLczDNWQdU1m1q8O-vakhZZGGrRjbenwc-CCaR3ooQ/s1600/Life+After+Beth+-+Zach.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvrugGllK8-kfRW4kdSA6dO5MbO0OXMWM9c0PNp8jpJaFjoBCBIFR1-afnLhgb3jLbqdawwo3Wngdb2_6tYxENMb95KSLo5atb1cLczDNWQdU1m1q8O-vakhZZGGrRjbenwc-CCaR3ooQ/s1600/Life+After+Beth+-+Zach.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">So
it shouldn’t be a surprise that I loved this movie. It made me laugh pretty consistently
throughout the entire movie. It started
off quickly (one of the first scenes is Beth’s funeral) and didn’t really hit
any lulls. The cast was terrific. I wasn’t sold on Dane DeHaan at first, but he
grew on me as the movie progressed. I
loved seeing how Plaza played Beth; she started as a sweet and fun amnesiac,
and ended up being the flesh-craved zombie we knew she would become. I loved John C. Reilly and Molly Shannon as
her relentlessly naïve parents. Most of
all, I loved seeing this weird little story play out on the fringes of a
citywide zombie outbreak.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEi4nZweHo-_RnMshosfbSLQRoroQoPzqa1NC8blgKSgkM8jg_SXMBSnex6OcHf0GDiibjZPvaaIBlfi5e067Zk5iwp1e8g688b1eX0f6IkEXstoUfcW0PMPSicaTAXIPO-71YpDPgxCU/s1600/Life+After+Beth+-+Beth+Zombie+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEi4nZweHo-_RnMshosfbSLQRoroQoPzqa1NC8blgKSgkM8jg_SXMBSnex6OcHf0GDiibjZPvaaIBlfi5e067Zk5iwp1e8g688b1eX0f6IkEXstoUfcW0PMPSicaTAXIPO-71YpDPgxCU/s1600/Life+After+Beth+-+Beth+Zombie+2.png" height="215" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My
main complaint is that the music seemed to overtake the dialog from time to time. I loved the atmosphere of the music
(dissonant guitar squawls, courtesy of the great Black Rebel Motorcycle Club),
but it had a tendency to be louder than it had any reason to me. Perhaps that was to contribute to the chaos
on screen, but I could have done with it being a little lower in the mix. (Look at me, complaining about music being
too loud. I’m officially old now.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihuOEgBZipowEaflDRCFkS84EbdQg34UZS4Nitf-ltxgaATGzFzmVd4bYTp_pa_E8Nu8G-Gm_yNNgI8J3tPT8J8unGzCelKyDD_d7wN8eG9dTAl9HxI4Wf5JnW4LXH74a_lJInVEe5iGI/s1600/Life+After+Beth+-+Beth+and+Zach.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihuOEgBZipowEaflDRCFkS84EbdQg34UZS4Nitf-ltxgaATGzFzmVd4bYTp_pa_E8Nu8G-Gm_yNNgI8J3tPT8J8unGzCelKyDD_d7wN8eG9dTAl9HxI4Wf5JnW4LXH74a_lJInVEe5iGI/s1600/Life+After+Beth+-+Beth+and+Zach.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">That’s
a minor complaint, though. It’s not a
perfect movie, but I had a lot of fun with this. I’m already looking forward to watching it
again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">Rating: 4/5</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-12383651885131950792014-08-04T23:25:00.004-04:002014-08-04T23:25:51.925-04:00Mini Review: Under the Skin<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrxbKO7epEBbGJEBpuTEXs6I47mCParpZIAWO7QsNfT6UrP_zPBrk3OZog2QG_a_pjhfvJLcHGN5ZHJpAttlb4EoE8GND3hRSeSVPntvH1Oza7YX0D0kmCAl9eey98Hf7GIwvkXyrIoGY/s1600/Under+the+Skin+Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrxbKO7epEBbGJEBpuTEXs6I47mCParpZIAWO7QsNfT6UrP_zPBrk3OZog2QG_a_pjhfvJLcHGN5ZHJpAttlb4EoE8GND3hRSeSVPntvH1Oza7YX0D0kmCAl9eey98Hf7GIwvkXyrIoGY/s1600/Under+the+Skin+Poster.jpg" height="400" width="266" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Thoughts
on <i>Under the Skin</i>, in three different
stages:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">1.
During the movie. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">What
is going on? She's an alien, right? That's what the description said. Is she going to be driving around in this van
for the entire movie? Are those guys
actually having sex with her and then getting destroyed, or are they consumed
and converted to fuel without ever touching her? That seems kind of cruel. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPXzXSyIpnR0VWpMHSigt_BBsHeBRN2x6Wq7ugZETn4QAku_Y8xtLQ3EyIKDDE4jPP8HzQ6zEBEpbGzq0CYtP5unres9K622oUcOcaHmx7YMtsGs05CKVipYCss5lk87vhr2TNZKPhQYo/s1600/Under+the+Skin+Driving.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPXzXSyIpnR0VWpMHSigt_BBsHeBRN2x6Wq7ugZETn4QAku_Y8xtLQ3EyIKDDE4jPP8HzQ6zEBEpbGzq0CYtP5unres9K622oUcOcaHmx7YMtsGs05CKVipYCss5lk87vhr2TNZKPhQYo/s1600/Under+the+Skin+Driving.jpg" height="166" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">2.
Immediately after the movie. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">That
was okay, I guess. I think I kind of
liked it. It was different than I
thought it would be. I liked the thought
process behind her trying to eat cake.
"I think I'm starting to feel things. Maybe I'm human. Let me check by eating this cake." There are worse ways to check to see if
you're human or not, I suppose.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvtTysdE-29YSWYDIZENnQhJgLi1dh1gV9GwqjwGzNluVT2_45o_B1-KWd4rt8IuKudAdiJrPaQiPkREmoOnhX5GXbQk6RjxqFyhm-E6I6zclRf5IDi9tXSxwzHW4KTMpQZwCI73gGun8/s1600/Under+the+Skin+Staring.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvtTysdE-29YSWYDIZENnQhJgLi1dh1gV9GwqjwGzNluVT2_45o_B1-KWd4rt8IuKudAdiJrPaQiPkREmoOnhX5GXbQk6RjxqFyhm-E6I6zclRf5IDi9tXSxwzHW4KTMpQZwCI73gGun8/s1600/Under+the+Skin+Staring.jpg" height="247" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">3. The day after the movie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
really loved that movie. Scarlett
Johansson gave a tremendous performance.
She gave her stoic character a ton of depth, and brought her subtle
character arc to life with silence. It
was odd and heartbreaking, and I'm really looking forward to watching it again.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAnK28wHeWgy_14aCLj-jfHDasTaKgWWwyDOZFjEohMbQOLaN89iGsRvsxbH0b4AC2i1JvUZZwK6UZdFBGy1HObVjN9GvP8-Uw8uJZAUDRIexnN5JgDp9Kk06xyPqznZdr6kx07SPHUr8/s1600/Under+the+Skin+Sitting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAnK28wHeWgy_14aCLj-jfHDasTaKgWWwyDOZFjEohMbQOLaN89iGsRvsxbH0b4AC2i1JvUZZwK6UZdFBGy1HObVjN9GvP8-Uw8uJZAUDRIexnN5JgDp9Kk06xyPqznZdr6kx07SPHUr8/s1600/Under+the+Skin+Sitting.jpg" height="206" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Translation:
it's not necessarily an easy movie to watch, but it gets better the more you
think about it. Plus, it can kind of be
described as "Art house <i>Species</i>,"
which I’m a fan of.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Rating:
4.5/5<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7913142767055034941.post-81182150413779883812014-07-22T11:35:00.005-04:002014-07-22T11:35:56.909-04:00Mini Review: Snowpiercer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwonn4NmSICdM8csQY9UJoO7NDdn6HjMuc8N-bldBGpfsZS8c91EFr8nmkyaqGx2GE-A4OnnmqpxWNHbe59A8NT4dGLVLQhcfckNQ8NW-UVG4GZiiiLYWRw3bRW_1fPRnN4KO6EJVyoU0/s1600/Snowpiercer+Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwonn4NmSICdM8csQY9UJoO7NDdn6HjMuc8N-bldBGpfsZS8c91EFr8nmkyaqGx2GE-A4OnnmqpxWNHbe59A8NT4dGLVLQhcfckNQ8NW-UVG4GZiiiLYWRw3bRW_1fPRnN4KO6EJVyoU0/s1600/Snowpiercer+Poster.jpg" height="400" width="270" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Bong
Joo-ho's <i>Snowpiercer</i> - based on a
French graphic novel - has some not-so-subtle things to say about class
warfare, but that's an article to be written by someone much smarter than
me. An attempt to reverse the effects of
global warming have backfired, leaving the sole survivors of Earth to circle
the frozen globe in a self-sustaining train, powered by a Sacred Engine. There's a cautionary tale in that, but I'm
not the man to unravel it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Instead,
I'll just talk about how much fun this movie was. Curtis (Chris Evans) is leading a rebellion
against the powers-that-be. To do this,
he must lead his ragtag group from the filthy rear car to the posh front
car. It was almost like a video game,
with each car presenting its own challenges.
Some of them contain puzzles to be solved, with new truths being
presented that may disrupt their quest.
Others may be a car full of hatchet wielding maniacs who cut open fish
to intimidate their attackers. Others
may contain exposition dumps.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWORC5djmFhF6t7wtspdWL3C5VNqLRnyv6AaZ1-ZDnod5Ls0VQ0ib_-dj_AIXLQqzrhF8rZ5iperrRL97L-GCNs7y4lqanAzRWlawU_iJ2l6Unm8uLSMpBgEZHcWb7vu4hWQNDMG9Jf6o/s1600/Snowpiercer+-+Rebels.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWORC5djmFhF6t7wtspdWL3C5VNqLRnyv6AaZ1-ZDnod5Ls0VQ0ib_-dj_AIXLQqzrhF8rZ5iperrRL97L-GCNs7y4lqanAzRWlawU_iJ2l6Unm8uLSMpBgEZHcWb7vu4hWQNDMG9Jf6o/s1600/Snowpiercer+-+Rebels.jpg" height="166" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It's
a dark action movie, all taking place inside a train barreling through
snow-covered landscapes. It's a
post-apocalyptic movie unlike any I've seen.
And, while it's bleak, there is a small glimmer of hope. It's also a lot of fun to watch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
acting is terrific. Chris Evans, Tilda
Swinton, John Hurt and Allison Pill are the highlights, but everyone here is
great.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7n_lSM4dtWBirAJhwREG7_vK0ekpuJum9GNsx6oTcopHVYVsvPDxR2Fq0qAYjS6MPX1m8Dppx4z1ZwjIf4J7T_oWEh-4znkjsI4lAnpixUGmAKZrIfbeJzAVGvz5fpynYef7JM7RIMts/s1600/Snowpiercer+-+Mason.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7n_lSM4dtWBirAJhwREG7_vK0ekpuJum9GNsx6oTcopHVYVsvPDxR2Fq0qAYjS6MPX1m8Dppx4z1ZwjIf4J7T_oWEh-4znkjsI4lAnpixUGmAKZrIfbeJzAVGvz5fpynYef7JM7RIMts/s1600/Snowpiercer+-+Mason.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I've
seen nothing but praise for this, and, while I loved it, I'll preach a little
bit of caution. I don't think it's quite
as amazing as the rest of the world seems to think it is. It’s a bit long and can drag at times,
drawing out small scenes to be longer than they have any reason to be. When I saw this, the hype level was still
pretty low. If I had seen it with
sky-high expectations, I would have walked out disappointed. As it was, I thoroughly enjoyed myself, even
if I had some minor issues with it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It’s
not perfect, but it’s still really good.
Keep your expectations reasonable, and you’ll love it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">Rating: 4.5/5</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186506571227921241noreply@blogger.com0