Wrong Turn, Phantasm

Wrong Turn

I had seen this before, but it had been a while.  I decided to watch the rest of the series, so I started with this one.
It is what it is: a slasher movie set in West Virginia, with a family inbreds killing and eating people.  Mainly hot people, but people all the same.  Eliza Dushku, Desmond Harrington (Quinn from Dexter) and a handful of other people are hunted down by this family.  Some of them escape, some don't.  It's basically A not-quite-as-interesting version of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but the entire family is Leatherface.
It's not exactly a groundbreaking movie, but, taken for what it is, it's actually quite enjoyable.

Rating: 4 stars

Phantasm

This movie is always talked about as a classic in independent horror, often mentioned in the same conversations as Suspiria.  I liked (but didn't love) Suspiria, so I thought I'd give it a shot.  Also, this was supposed to be a quasi-zombie movie, and it had been a while since I've really watched one of those.
For starters, the zombies looked like cloaked Jawas (but without the glowing eyes).  Apparently they killed people and chopped off their legs?  I'm not sure they ever really addressed this.
I started watching this movie, and kind of stopped paying attention at some point.  Basically, there was a funeral home run by an ageless guy (the Tall Man, I believe he was called).  He had an altar-ego (the Lavender Woman) who had sex with men, then killed them, then turned them into zombies.  One kid kind of knew what was going on, and he was able to talk his brother and the local ice cream man into helping him stop those shenanigans.  They confronted the Tall Man or something, and the kid went into a different dimension for a couple seconds or something and saw the Jawas as slaves of the Tall Man.
The movie ended with some kind of "it was a dream...or was it" nonsense, with the ice cream man talking to the kid in front of a fire.  It was all very romantic and extremely uncomfortable.

Anyway, this movie was pretty terrible.  There were a couple of kind of cool moments, including one where a flying sphere latched onto a guy's face and this happened:

Shortly thereafter a bunch of blood came pouring out of the front, like some kind of deranged spout.

That scene alone made it impossible to give this a 1 star rating...but not by much.

Rating: 2 stars