Thursday, February 7, 2013

BloodRayne: The Third Reich

Description from Netflix:
In this action adventure spun off from a video game, half-human, half-vampire rebel spirit Rayne is pitted against a dark evil from another time - a squad of undead Nazi warriors trying to inject Adolf Hitler with Rayne's blood to make him immortal.

Notable actors: Clint Howard

My thoughts:
On paper, I should really love this series.  A vampire-hybrid vampire hunter who is shown at random points in history, killing vampires and vanquishing evil in general.  Like a time-traveling Blade, but a hot chick.
I should have loved the second movie in particular.  My love of westerns meets my love of action-horror.
I also should've loved this movie.  A vampire hunter going up against Nazi vampires.
Sadly, when Uwe Boll is involved, all bets are off.

The story was cheesy, but it could've been decent with someone more competent at the helm.  But Boll is far from a competent hand.  He has earned his title as the worst director currently working.

The acting was terrible.  The dialogue was trash.  And the characters were awful.  Barely one-dimensional.  The fight scenes were confusing.  On multiple occasions, I thought there were more people involved in a fight than there actually were.

At a running time of 79 minutes, it was kind of amazing how slow this movie felt.  And that was with two pretty graphic sex scenes thrown in.  I'd say roughly 10% of this movie was sex scenes, which I'm pretty sure qualifies this as a softcore porn.

A scene-chewing performance by Clint Howard, Nazi vampires (including a brief glimpse of Vampire Hitler), and a hot vampire hunter could only carry this movie so far.  There were moments where this movie was pretty funny (in the so-bad-it's-good kind of way), but, for the most part, this movie was really terrible.  
Shocking, I know.

Rating: 1/5

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