Here Comes the Devil

Netflix description:

Grieving parents rejoice when their missing son and daughter return after disappearing on a family trip to Tijuana.  But they’re not the same children they once knew, even though everything looks normal on the outside.

My thoughts:

This movie was completely bonkers for the first 30 minutes or so.  I got 20 minutes in, and I wasn’t even sure there was a plot to follow.  It eventually settled in, but it took a while to get there.  Thankfully, it was entertaining, so I stuck with it.

Just as an example, here is a list of things that happen in the first half hour:

- Two naked girls messing around on a bed while a 70s grindhouse song rages.  This is the very first image we see.

- A man coming into the house and beating one of the girls senseless, an act that concludes with him cutting off a couple of her fingers and running off into the hills after the other girl hits him in the head with a fire poker.

- The same man madly humping the ground, while surrounded by severed fingers.  (This is similar to a scene in Steinbeck’s To a God Unknown.  Except I don’t think that book had severed fingers.  I don’t know.  It’s been a while since I’ve read it.  That Joseph Wayne was into some weird stuff.)

- A man and wife letting their kids run off into the hills (not unlike Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer) in an area they’re not familiar with.  While their kids are out of sight, they sit in their car in a gas station parking lot, talk about their sexual experiences as teenagers and get to third base.  Again, this is in a gas station parking lot.

- The line “seeing your parents make love isn’t the end of the world,” is uttered.  By the parents.  (They obviously never witnessed their parents having sex.)

For a while, I honestly thought the subtitles didn’t match the actual dialog.  I thought I was witnessing a practical joke by the subtitle writers.  “Wouldn’t it be funny if we totally changed the entire tone of the movie by writing insane things?”  (I would normally include some examples here, but they’re so funny that it’s best if you experience them for yourself.  I don’t want to ruin your joy.)

However, based the few Spanish classes I took, that did not seen to be the case.  The dialog really was as insane as it appeared to be.

Eventually, the movie settles in a bit into something resembling a plot, but even that wasn’t completely normal.  The kids come back to the car, but they don’t seem quite right.  Strange things begin to happen in the house.  A babysitter is run off, leaving only her bra and sanity behind.  I believe the intent was to build a sense of uncertainty in the viewer.  What is wrong with the children?  Are they possessed, or were they just mentally scarred by a traumatic event in the hills?

However, since the movie was titled Here Comes the Devil, it was pretty easy to tell what happened, so that sense of uncertainty wasn’t present.

The parents also briefly dabbled in vigilante justice, because of course they did.  They appeared particularly skilled at it, too.  I double-checked to make sure the father wasn’t actually named Frank Castle.  He was not.

Even this little storyline made little-to-no sense.  The parents had been dealing with the police since the disappearance/reappearance of their children, and the police had been extremely helpful.  And then, suddenly, they decide that knives and guns will give them all the answers they will ever need.

I’m not complaining.  I like a good throat-ripping scene as much as the next guy (probably more, actually.  I blame Dalton), but it just seemed odd.

I was going to say “odd and out-of-place”, but this movie had so many strange moments that I’m pretty sure the entire movie was out-of-place.

"Kids skipping school, you say? We should probably kill this guy." 

I was confused as to whether this movie was actually supposed to be scary or campy.  There were a couple creepy scenes, but nothing that was out-and-out scary.  The best scene was when the babysitter was telling her story of her evening with the kids, but it still felt like it was missing something.  They could have really kicked it up a notch there, and they didn’t jump on that opportunity.

At the same time, I really don’t get the feeling that it was supposed to be funny.  I laughed quite a few times, but it didn’t have a comedic feel to it.  I don’t think it was going for humor or camp. It was just so ludicrous that I couldn’t help but laugh.

This was a weird little 70s inspired possession movie, complete with lots of quick zooms.  It had a cool look to it, and I enjoyed myself throughout the entire movie, even if I was confused more often than not. 

After an absolutely bonkers opening, it kind of settled in.  Some creepy moments.  A couple cool little reveals.  It wasn’t overly scary, but it had its moments.  I really liked the visuals on the hill.

Crazy, but highly enjoyable.

4/5

Evil Dead

For as excited as I was about this movie, it's kind of amazing that it exceeded my extremely high expectations for it.  It's violent.  Gory (they used all practical effects, and they all looked terrific.  I'm not totally convinced one of the girls didn't actually cut her arm off).  Creepy.  Overrun with second-guessing and illogical plot points.  Uneven acting (although it's worth noting that Jane Levy is terrific throughout.  I hope to see her in more movies very soon).  It's a beautiful and blood-drenched horror film.  It feels less like a remake and more like a love-letter to the the genre, while still adding its own memorably bloody chapter to the genre.  It shows the audience dozens of potential weapons, then gleefully uses each and every one of them.

If I have one complaint it's that the unrated version has yet to see the light of day.  I know it's out there (the first cut was rated NC-17, so they cut out some stuff to get down to R).  And, while I know they probably didn't have to cut too much (30 seconds would be my guess), my mind desperately wants to believe that there are 20+ insane minutes floating around out there, just begging to be released.  In two years, they will no doubt release it, and I will happily pay whatever they ask.

You can read my original review here.

The Conjuring

Description from Netflix:

Based on true events, this spine-chiller tells the story of a New England family who begins having encounters with spirits in their farmhouse, and the paranormal experts who help them do battle with the supernatural forces.

Notable actors: Ron Livingston, Lili Taylor, Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson

My thoughts:

It took me a month to finally get out to see this movie.  Because of that, the hype had reached insane levels.  It's currently sitting at 86% at Rotten Tomatoes, which is almost unheard of for a horror movie.

Combine that hype with the pre-release marketing machine ("rated R for being toooooo scary"), and I went into this movie with a cynic's heart and a critical eye.

I hated the opening with Annabelle, the creepy doll (I assume she was called Annabelle because she was shaped like a...she's the belle of the ball).  Hated it.  (I thought it was as nose as the Anne on plain’s face.)  I could see what they were doing: using a creepy scene to set up the rest of the movie.  But, for me, it didn't really work.  I feel like the "creepy inanimate object" trope has run its course in horror.  It no longer scares me.  The implication of what was going on with the doll was a cool idea (demon trying to enter our world through a conduit), but the entire opening wasn't really creepy for me, no matter how hard they tried to make it so.

I bet she sings a killer version of "We Three Kings"

Plus, I kind of felt like Wan was nudging me in the ribs.  "Hey.  Remember how I directed Saw and Dead Silence with those dolls?  You remember that?  Wasn't that awesome?"  And I never want anyone reminding me that Dead Silence exists.  There were also a few very Wan-like moments involving pale, ghostly figures turning their heads slowly and opening their mouths wide.  But, since this was a James Wan joint, I could pretty much count on at least one of these scenes showing up, and it was pretty easy to see it coming.

Beyond that, this opening scene wasn't so much a set-up as it was a blueprint for how the rest of the movie would play out.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaan

And, really, that was my problem with a lot of this movie.  A lot of the major plot points are telegraphed pretty early on.  They linger on certain objects for too long, or have a conversation about the object.  They have all these tiny little exposition scenes throughout the movie, the sole purpose of which seems to be to tell us what is going to happen.  The actors did everything short of breaking the fourth wall to spell out exactly how future scenes would play out.

"And now for the end of the movie..."

Another huge problem had less to do with the movie itself, and more to do with the trailers.  They had a fantastic set-up to a great jump scare ("hide and clap"), but it was ruined because of the trailers.  That scene was in every trailer I saw.  Had I not seen the trailer, that scene probably would've had me jumping out of my seat.  But, since I knew it was coming, it was just kind of boring.  In fact, the entire 5 minutes leading up to that point were kind of boring, because I already knew how it was going to end.

Pop POP

I suppose this is partially my fault.  When I see a trailer for a new horror movie pop up, I should just close my eyes and block it out.  But that's not easy to do.  Still, I may go this route for You're Next.  That seems like it could be a solid movie with some good scares.  At this point, all I know is that there is a pig head involved.  It may just be a remake of Motel Hell.  I don't know.  I haven't looked into it.

Look at that guy.  Always standing and walking.

I have also found myself tiring of these "house isn't haunted, the people are haunted" type of movies.  For it being a somewhat recent development (the first movie I remember seeing like this was Paranormal Activity) a lot of movies seem to be jumping on this train.  On some level, I understand it.  If the house is haunted, the easy fix is "just move somewhere else".  (The Lutz's made their grand escape on a rickety motorboat.)

But, if it's the person who is haunted, there's no easy fix.  You can't run.  You have to try to beat it.  It raises the stakes for everyone involved.  Essentially, these filmmakers have combined haunted house movies and possession movies.

Again, this isn't a bad idea, and I have really liked some of these movies.  But, by this point, it seems a bit overused and predictable.  Maybe someone will come along and make a movie that reenergizes this particular subgenre.  But this is not that movie.

That's it for the negative stuff.  Now for the positive.

There was a pretty good feeling of dread throughout.  Even though I could see where the story was going, I still had the feeling that something was just around the corner.  That's not easy to sustain throughout the course of a movie, but Wan did that pretty well here.

There were also a couple of really good scares.  There was one in particular that really seemed to come out of nowhere.  It was really scary and extremely well done.  There were also a number of moments that, while not overly scary, still had me more than a little creeped out (there was a fantastic scene involving the wardrobe that pulled this off really well).

For the most part, I liked the actors involved.  They didn't necessarily raise the movie to another level, but they all played their characters well enough.  It was well-acted, even if some of the characters felt like they were lacking any substance (I love Ron Livingston as much - or more - than the next guy, but there was hardly anything behind his character).

"This is kind of weird, but it's like you almost miss that possession."

Overall, I enjoyed this movie, but I didn't love it as much as everyone else seemed to.  It was a pretty good haunted house/person movie that kept me entertained the entire time (opening 5 minutes excluded).  I felt like I was a bit more critical than normal going into this one because of all the hype it received.  If I went into it with no expectations, I'm sure I would have loved it.  As it was, it was a solid movie that I liked, but didn't love.

Rating: 3.5/5

This is a pick for Final Girl's Film Club.  Watch it, then head over to her blog to see what she (and others) have to say about this.

Evil Dead

Description from Netflix:

When a group of friends vacations at an isolated cabin in the woods, they discover an evil Book of the Dead – and unwittingly release a swarm of bloodthirsty demons in this spine-chilling remake of Sam Raimi’s classic horror flick.

My thoughts:

I should probably stop using the Netflix recap as a starting point.  I feel like I’m correcting it half the time.  Including this one.

The friends were not so much “vacationing” as they were “helping a friend who was trying to break her heroin addiction.”  Same thing, really.

I really liked the heroin angle.  It gave all the characters a reason to be there.  It also gave the characters a reason to write-off the initial craziness of the possessed Mia.  “So she’s talking in weird voices, pacing in the driving rain and talking about seeing strange girls in the woods?  Big deal.  She’s trying to quit heroin cold turkey.”  In that sense, it was kind of brilliant.

The only thing that could’ve made that set-up better was if we, the audience, were also in the dark about it.  I didn’t love Lovely Molly, but I liked how it kept me in suspense.  Was she possessed, or was she just messed up by her drug use?  With that movie, it was never really clear.  With this movie, we already know she’s possessed.  There’s no ambiguity, and that tension is lost.  Not that it’s a big deal, really, but it was hard not to watch this and not at least think about Lovely Molly.

All that aside…

I loved this movie.  It wasn’t without its problems, for sure.  The acting was uneven (at best).  The script left quite a bit to be desired.  Some of the actions of the characters – especially Eric – ranked up near the top of some of the worst decisions I’ve ever seen any characters make.  In the scene where he actually unleashes the demon from the Necronomicon, he makes a series of terrible decisions.  Here are those decisions, in order:

1. When they find the book, they had just walked through a basement full of hanging dead cats.  The book is wrapped in a black garbage bag, then wrapped in barbed wire.  WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE.

Looks inviting.  Let me curl up for a few hours with this puppy

2. After Eric cuts through the barbed wire, he looks at the book.  (In the original Evil Dead, the book was bound in human flesh.  I don’t remember them specifying the binding in this film, but it certainly looked like it could be flesh.)  There are numerous warnings written in large letters throughout the book.  My favorite being the all-caps “Don’t say it don’t write it don’t hear it.”

"Probably just a joke.  I'll do all those things."

3. Of course, he picks that page to stop on and start reading.  I take that back.  He doesn’t start reading.  Because the words that need to be read to summon the demon can’t be seen clearly.  So he takes a piece of paper, places it over the raised letters, and starts scribbling.  Like Lebowski finding a pornographic drawing.  Except with demon-summoning.

4. As he finds the words, he says them out loud.  To no one but himself, the twerpy little wannabe professor says them out loud.  Which, of course, summons the demon and gets poor Mia possessed.

5. After he does all this, and after he sees Mia behaving in a way that no one – not even a recovering heroin addict – would act, he still doesn’t say anything about the book until more people are infected.  And dead.  Because Eric is the worst.

Seriously.  Just look at this guy. I bet he loves talking about Walden.

That’s just one string of terrible decision making by one character.  This movie was full of them.  (Although, to be fair, this was the absolute worst of them.)

Still, despite my problems with the movie, I really, really loved this movie.  It was pretty tense throughout, and had quite a few legitimate scares, as well as a few jump-scares that got me. 

And the gore.  Oh man…the gore.  On top of the crazy amounts of fake blood used (buckets and buckets of blood), they also did a great job working in some incredibly gruesome scenes (hacking off limbs, bashing in heads with sinks, cutting tongues in half with box cutters, etc.).  It’s all a bit crazy, and definitely not for the feint of heart.  But I felt that it worked really well within the movie.  This wasn’t torture porn.  This wasn’t cutting people up just for the sake of showing people getting cut up.  This gore was all within the context of the film.  And it was beautiful and terrible.

What I really loved about this film was the fact that, while this was a dark & twisted movie, it also seemed like the filmmakers really had fun making it.  There was definitely a sense of devilish glee that ran throughout.  I could almost hear them giggling as they figured out more ways to dump massive amounts of blood on our heroes. 

I also really loved the subtle nods to the original.  There were plenty of scenes that were pulled directly from the original (not a surprise, seeing as how it’s a remake), but they also sprinkled in a lot of smaller references.  These are some of the ones I caught:

1. When we first meet Mia, she is wearing a Michigan State sweatshirt.  In the original, Linda was wearing a Michigan State sweatshirt.

2. When we meet Mia, she is sitting on top of a car that resembles Sam Raimi’s famous 1973 Oldsmobile Delta.

3. Mia’s brother (David) gives her a necklace that vaguely resembles the necklace Ash gives to Linda.

I’m sure there were more (and, like I mentioned, a lot of them were more obvious and built into the story), but I thought these three little scenes were a pretty cool subtle homage to the original.

A couple more small movie references from me:

Eric – the high school teacher who seemed to fancy himself a college professor – really took a beating in this movie.  I didn’t like him at all, but I started to feel bad for him after a while.  And yet, he kept coming back.  In that regard, he reminded me a little of Red from Pineapple Express.  Sadly, there was no mention of a Daewoo Lanos.

Possessed Mia said some terrible things to her brother about what was happening to the soul of his actual sister (since a demon now possessed her body and all).  A lot of what she was saying seemed to come almost directly from The Exorcist.

Overall, I really loved this movie.  It’s definitely not for everybody, but I thought it was terrific.  I wouldn’t be surprised if it ends up being my favorite movie of the year.  Granted, it’s still pretty early in the year (and I really loved Mama, as well), but this movie was fantastic.  While it’s hard not to compare it to the original, I didn’t find myself holding it up to the original.  It stands on its own as a great horror film. 

Rating: 5/5

Lovely Molly

Description from Netflix:
After moving into her deceased father's country house, Molly and her new husband Tim face eerie disturbances -- and things get worse as Molly faces them alone while Tim's away.  Soon the evil presence threatens both her sanity and her life.

Notable actors: Johnny Lewis, Alexandra Holden

My thoughts:
Going in, the only thing I knew about this was that it was written & directed by Eduardo Sanchez of The Blair Witch Project fame.  It looks like he hasn't completely given up on the found footage genre.  He didn't use it for this entire movie, but he used it quite a bit.  It felt pretty clumsy most of the time.  When Molly found herself being scared in the house, she would flick on the camera.  Because, of course, that's the natural reaction for all of us.

This movie started off pretty well.  There were a number of creepy parts that had me on edge.  The main actress - Gretchen Lodge - did a great job at slowly descending deeper and deeper into madness.  When the movie starts, she's a carefree bride.  But, as the movie progresses, she becomes more and more unstable.
We find out that she used to be a heroin addict, but has been clean for quite a while (I don't think they ever really say how long, but it's implied that she has been clean for several years).  As she slowly loses her mind, we're left wondering if she is possessed, or if it's just a relapse.  Either way, she's insane.
If I learned nothing else from this movie, I learned this: whether it's a possession or an addiction to heroin, you never kiss that kind of crazy.  Ever.

Okay.  Now the bad.  Somewhere in the middle, it pretty much lost me.  It reached a point where Molly's actions became so ridiculous I couldn't really take the movie seriously anymore.  It seemed like they were pushing it over-the-top because they wanted to be shocking.  There's a right way to do that.  This was not it.  They hit the crazy button too early, and they couldn't sustain it to the end.  It was no longer creepy.  And, when it lost me, it lost me for good.  There was nothing to drew me back in.
Sure, I still wanted to see how it ended (possession or drugs?), but it ceased being scary.  And, as it turns out, the ending wasn't even that good.  In fact, the big reveal made me laugh really hard.

I'm going to venture into some SPOILER territory here (complete with a picture), so, if you don't really want to know how it ends, you should probably skip it.  (Although I don't think it really spoils too much.  For me, this part was still open for interpretation.)

SPOILER ALERT

Towards the end, after Molly has exacted her bloody vengeance, she walks outside - stark naked - and encounters the demon who has been possessing her.  (I said earlier that I think this is still open for interpretation.  Even though we see the demon, I still get the feeling that it was in her head.  That it was all the heroin making her see things and act how she had been acting.)
And the demon looks preposterous.  It's like Sweetums from The Muppets lost weight and decided to start possessing hot blondes.  I laughed for a good 5 minutes.  (If you click on the picture, you should be able to see it a little larger.  Since he's in shadows, you don't really get a great look at him, but you can see enough of him to realize how stupid he looks.)

END SPOILER

As you can probably tell, I didn't love this movie.  But there are some pretty creepy moments in here.  I'd say it's worth a watch, but you can probably fast-forward through the last half of the movie and not really miss much.

Rating: 2.5/5

The Amityville Horror

Description from Netflix:
This hair-raising remake of the 1979 horror hit depicts the ordeal of the Lutz family, whose new home has a gory past and a legacy of demons.  Before long, dad George is being haunted by nightmares and daughter Chelsea is seeing phantoms.

Notable actors: Ryan Reynolds, Melissa George, Rachel Nichols, Philip Baker Hall, Chloe Grace Moretz

My thoughts:
I love this movie.  It's one of my favorite modern horror movies.  Ryan Reynolds gives a great performance as George Lutz; a man who is slowly being taken over by the demons in the house.  He alternates between threatening and annoyed.  One minute he's making his step-son hold up wood while he chops ("We're friends, aren't we?  We're having fun.").  The next minute he's sneering at a touching moment between mother and father.  ("What's wrong with this family?")  The next minute he's trying to kill his entire family.  I can understand.  I've had bad days, too.

It's creepy.  It's funny.  It moves at a good pace.  After the first viewing, the jump-scares aren't scary, but they still work well within the movie.  Nothing really feels cheap or cheesy.  (Okay, maybe the very last scene does, but that's it.)

It's a good haunted house movie.  If you haven't seen it yet, definitely check it out.

Rating: 5/5